Standard disclaimer applies.
A/N: Just me, thinking. And then that Furu-ecchi found its way into my brain and spoiled the whole thing.
Just a Third
~ A Beelzebub Fanfic ~
"Y'know, it always bothered me," Furuichi Takayuki sipped his juice drink and regarded the delinquent cum Demon King parent sitting next to him, pleasantly eating a bento that his 'wife' had prepared for him.
Takayuki felt the beginnings of a spasm in his temple. "WHY THE HELL IS HILDA MAKING YOU A BENTO?"
Oga Tatsumi paused while munching and shrugged. "Hell if I know. Want some?"
Takayuki did not need to be asked twice. He scuttled over and viciously chomped on an octopus-shaped sausage. A second later his face was transformed by utter bliss, marred only by the frustrated screw of his brow. His initial brush with Hilda's cooking had been her serving up Hell's specialties. But apparently she can be good with human ingredients too – provided she didn't try to make them taste like Hell's cuisine. The sheer injustice of it all nearly made him weep. Damn you Oga! You get a hot bombshell who can cook like this!
"Dah." Baby Belze clambered onto Tatsumi's shoulder. It might be mildly inconvenient to others, but to Tatsumi it was pretty much like having a lizard on his shoulder – such was the significance of having a demon baby on his person. Just like a lizard. A lizard who can fry him to a crisp if wrongly poked.
"Anyway," Takayuki struggled to get his thoughts back on track but didn't stop stealing food from Tatsumi's bento. "I was wondering why Prince En has three wet nurses while Belze only has one. Is it because he's still a baby? Does this mean as Belze grows…" Takayuki suddenly stopped in his thoughts as an epiphany struck him – "Does it mean Oga will live with more hot babes?"
"That is unlikely." A familiar voice made the two boys look up.
Standing on the parapet was Yolda, hands on hips. Hilda's estranged sister, being a trans-dimensional demon had the annoying habit of popping up without warning; much like Alaindelon did. "My master sent a gift for his little brother. I thought I'd bring it to him myself."
"Not another baby rattle!" Tatsumi groaned as Yolda gracefully jumped down. "No, it's a new pacifier." Yolda presented the gift to Belze, who cooed in delight and threw away his old pacifier before happily sucking on the new one. "I'm happy you like it, Prince," Yolda beamed. "It's made from the rubbery hide of the Basilisk. You can chew on it for a thousand years and it'll never tear."
"What do you mean it's not likely Baby Belze will get more wet nursemaids?" Takayuki's mind, naturally, always turned back to girls. "You're saying Prince En always had three nursemaids at his beck and call?"
"Do you think royal wet nursemaids are a dime a dozen?" Yolda returned in irritation. "We have to go through extensive training and conditioning to be able to handle anything our master requires us to. Not many demons can withstand that, you know."
"I still don't see where you're going…"
"Idiot." When Yolda was in this mood she was so scarily like Hilda, sans the sword. "It means Hilda alone is equal to the three of us who serve Prince Enma. No…" Her eyes clouded momentarily before clearing; "She is more than us combined, actually."
Tatsumi paused. And then: "If you're one-third Hilda, which one-third are you?"
"This middle one, I hope," Takayuki mused out loud and instantly regretted his error. A vein twitched in Yolda's temple and her mop appeared in a whirl of demonic energy. "Are you saying," She began thunderously; "That my bust is only a third of her size, you insignificant insect?"
And Tatsumi placidly finished the last of his sausages as he watched his best friend get pulverized by a very irate demon nursemaid. He supposed Takayuki was lucky that Yolda didn't wear thick platform heels or carried a sharp weapon. Neither did Yolda make you feel like a worthless bacterium just by glaring at you. Yup, he thought as he watched Yolda punch, kick and screamed abuse at Takayuki; definitely just a third of her.