Title: Perfect
Author: sweetlolixo
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, side Finn/Quinn
Rating: PG
Word Count:
Spoilers: End of Season 2 "Original Song" / Regionals
Summary: Who says? Who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? Who says you're the only one that's hurting? Trust me, that's the price of beauty.Takes place after S2 Regionals. Quinn overhears a certain brunette weeping in choir room after their win. She tries to push her guilt away, but on the ride home, she hears a certain song. Quinn finds herself trying to teach a certain Berry what true perfection really means – her.
Quinn hears a certain brunette weeping.
Everybody's long gone home; they had taken the bus back to school from Regionals, and after much celebration of their win, had set off for home separately. The ex-cheerleader had only stayed behind, having offered some ridiculous teacher her help for paperwork that day – and Finn hadn't that much of a gentleman instinct to wait for her, or give her the ride home. The blonde rolled her eyes to herself. Scumbag. The things she settled for.
After many tedious hours stuck in the teacher's office, Quinn finally made her way down the dim school hallways with her Kate Spade bag slung over her shoulders. It hadn't occurred to her that a certain brunette would still be here – hell, it hadn't occurred to her that anyone else would even be here, but the blonde is proven wrong when she hears the distinct sound of quiet sobbing seeping from the choir room.
Of course Quinn would recognise crying. She's been there, so many times. She's been lost and desperate, she's been lonely and scared, she's been hurt and broken. She's stayed back in school on countless occasions, just to avoid going back home to face her mother in tears, just to avoid letting anyone else see that fragile side to her. Blonde she may be, but she needn't any sympathy. Nevertheless, the strong-willed cheerleader always wanted someone who she trusted to just... be able to let all of this out, to scream, to throw her tantrums against. Finn was always useless for these type of things.
Speaking about feelings – Quinn fluttered her eyes shut. Today's Regionals hadn't gone well. She needn't state the obvious. She was losing her boyfriend. She was losing her title. She was losing everything she deserved. The perfect life she wanted. She definitely needed to clear this up with Finn soon. And Rachel. Rachel. That girl... That girl had taken Quinn's words too literal, then, hadn't she? When Quinn had yelled at Rachel to 'get it right', she hadn't asked for a whole, emotional song to be penned down afterwards. It made the blonde feel bad. And making Quinn feel bad was quite an accomplishment, if the blonde might say so herself.
Quinn had originally planned to give Berry a piece of her mind, but little did she know her plans would be foiled on this fateful night...
Peering into the choir room, the ex-cheerleader spotted the source of crying. It hadn't been that shocking, either, but still startling, nevertheless; hadn't Rachel made that touching, tear-filled speech just a while ago? All I've ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen and I just wanted to thank you guys for giving me that.Yeah, yeah, Quinn had yawned then, watching as the rest of Glee club leave their seats to greet Berry with open arms. Rachel didn't need sympathy from her, though. Besides, Rachel was probably one of the lucky few who would make it out of Ohio. To Broadway. While the blonde would be stuck, here, in a 9 to 5 job, with a dim witted husband. That was the way life went.
Quinn ignored the pang to her heart.
Watching Berry crouch over her chair like that, still donning the sparkling, blue dress, with a mixture of tears and smudged mascara running down her cheeks; Quinn had to admit even the scene seemed far too wrong for a dramaqueen like her. Why was Rachel crying? Hadn't she been happy? Why would she be upset? For God's sake, Quinn was far worse off than the brunette. That didn't give Rachel a reason to cry. Quinn was the one that deservedthat crying. It felt unfair.
The blonde hadn't noticed she had been in the doorway, staring at Berry for few good long minutes until the brunette called her out on it herself.
"You're still here?" Rachel barely made an attempt to snifle her tears. Looking up, those hazel eyes made contact with the blonde's light green ones. How sad, Quinn thought. I've never seen eyes that looked any more sad.She looked away instantly, abashed.
Quinn gave a light shrug. "You are, too."
As the ex-cheerleader raised her head again, Quinn spotted the corners of Rachel's lips lifting up into a big smile. "Congratulations, Quinn, you've finally got what you wanted."
The way Rachel was laughing seemed so heartbreaking. There. She did it again. Quinn felt bad, again. It was annoying. Her stomach churned.
"I guess it's the pretty girls at the end that always get it, don't they?" She continued, rather unnecessarily – Quinn might add – and a strange discomfort came over the blonde. "I mean, of course they do. You're perfect, I'm not. You're right, Quinn. I never got it right, but I get it now. I'm really happy for you, Quinn."
Quinn's gaze faltered. The things Berry did sometimes. Making the blonde realise she had a heart. She wanted to speak, say something to ease the pain – because Quinn had always wanted someone to do that for her, when no one else was there, but nothing good came out as she parted her lips.
The next few words came out so fast without thinking that Quinn hadn't realised it was her, until she recognised her own smug voice.
"Good that you know, Berry."
With a turn of heels, Quinn found herself settling back into her own, casual walking pace. She strutted down the hallway; as if nothing had happened, as if she had never stopped midway to check on Berry, as if she had just left the office, as if everything was normal again.
~~~
But those hazel eyes never left her.
Quinn drew in her breath with a long hiss. With one hand on the steering wheel, and the other leaning against the car's window, Quinn could barely concentrate with all the pent up emotions raging wildly inside of her. It wasn't fair. And the blonde didn't understand why she cared so much for the brunette this time, either. Maybe she felt particularly guilty because of that stupid song. Get it right.Maybe because it had touched her in more ways than one. Maybe because she had witnessed Berry crying afterwards. Maybe because Berry wasn't supposed to cry. Quinn was mean, but to a certain extent, and she didn't fancy seeing her victims hurt thatmuch.
"Rachel Berry, I hate you!" It wasn't like it was characteristic of her to be so violent at times, but Quinn strangely felt her emotions on a wild balance after the incident. In a blind fit of anger, Quinn kicked her pedalling and halted the car to an abrupt stop.
The brunette's broken voice and words filled her mind. The way she had so confidently – so surely, admitted that she hadn't been good enough, hadn't been perfect like Quinn – the way she had put herself down, the way her eyes had looked so, so sorrowful – it was so unlike the Rachel Quinn had always saw during rehearsals, during her solos, or just... in general.
Had Quinn caused Rachel to turn this way?
Rubbing her throbbing temples, the blonde leaned back against her seat. She needed music. Now, right now. As she leaned over to switch on the radio, she heard that squeaky Disney voice fill her car. Oh, god, not Selena Gomez. Quinn needed something else – something else, just not this. She didn't need a teen pop sensation to try and ease and comfort her, really. She needed –
Who says?
Who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty.
Quinn snorted. Sounded like something Berry would sing.
Yet it felt good. Quinn felt better, at least. Quinn wondered what if – what if she had said these words to a certain brunette earlier. Maybe she'd feel better, at the very least. Maybe she'd realise a ton of things.
The blonde felt a bizzare connection with the light, positive song that echoed throughout the rest of her journey, all the way till home.
~~~
"What's that song?"
Quinn stops to turn to her boyfriend. "What?"
"The song you're humming. Isn't that Selena Gomez?" Finn laughs, and Quinn resists the urge to smack him in retaliation. "Didn't know you liked Disney, Quinn."
"I'm positively certain it isn't, Finn." The blonde gritted her teeth. "Didn't know you listened to Disney either."
"Well, okay." Finn blinked. "Someone's had a bad morning."
Quinn managed a sweet, conniving smile. "Say, how would you make me feel better?"
"What?"
"If I'm upset, and I've had a bad morning, how would you make me feel better?"
Finn looked just like a deer caught in the headlights. Scratching the back of his head, he gave an awkward smile.
"I guess I'd sing a song for you? Glee club does that."
Hn. But Quinn couldn't do that.At least not outrightly like that. Berry would be suspicious; she would suspect Quinn was up to something again.
"That's a little too direct. How would you sing to me in a... more subtle manner?"
"Leave notes to you? I don't know." He shrugged. "You know I'm no good at these romantic things, Quinn."
"That's a perfect idea." The blonde quirked up into a grin. "That's perfect, Finn."
~~~
The first time the blonde did it, she had been nervous, a little hesitant – and feeling stupid, nonetheless – but it didn't stop her. She had carefully made her way past the brunette's locker, making sure that Rachel was still having class so their timings wouldn't clash; and then, after darting her eyes around to check for anyone that would catch her in this shamelessact – she hurriedly pulled open the brunette's locker, and slipped in a small, pink note inside.
Who says you're not perfect?
She didn't know what she was doing. She shouldn't be caring for Rachel. She never did; maybe a little concern at the start, yes, they were in the same Glee club, concern for each other was inevitable – but there had been nothing like this. Quinn never felt the anticipatory, butterfly feelings in her stomach for Berry. It was... strange. Weird. It felt new to her, caring for someone like this. Like her. But Quinn reassures herself that she is just relieving herself from guilt, and perhaps things will be better this way. After she's made sure Rachel was okay – then maybe Quinn wouldn't feel nothing less short of perfect.
Quinn hoped Berry would feel like her, too.
And as the bell rings, the ex-cheerleader rushes down the corridor, behind the walls. Not noticeable enough for Berry, but a spot good enough to see the brunette's reaction from the note.
As Rachel advanced towards her locker, Quinn held her breath.
When she saw those hazel eyes shine and those lips crack into a shy smile, Quinn had never felt more perfect in her life.
~~~
Quinn realises she's obsessed with the brunette's smile.
She didn't understand when it started to happen – when Berry started to affect her this much, when Quinn started to even do good for the benefits of others and not herself. For once, for once, Quinn was doing something without seeking an acknowledgement at all. For once, it wasn't to make herself happy. It was to bring a smile upon that dishevelled face every morning. In a way, it made Quinn feel good herself, as well, so it didn't mean that she was particularly concerned about Berry, right...? Still, it had become a common routine for Quinn to arrive at school early in the morning to slip in a new note each day for her, each note containing a line from that... dumb Disney song. Dumb enough to work, though. It was the first song that didn't make Quinn cringe, oddly; on the contrary, Quinn fell in love with the simplicity and honesty of the lyrics. It had been long since she felt sogood about herself. Then, after slipping in the note, the blonde would stray into a corner, just to watch as the students came flocking in, among them awaiting a certain brunette for her arrival... and for her smile.
Who says you're not star potential
Who says you're not presidential
Who says you can't be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me.
~~~
"Good afternoon, fellow Glee club members!" Rachel greeted with utmost enthusiasm, literally skipping into the choir room to take her seat.
Well, it's good to finally see her smiling again. Quinn tried to look preoccupied with her usual doodling on her notepad. She wonders why she's been penning down the same lyrics over again and again recently...
"Gee, what's up with Rachel lately?" Finn muttered as he took his seat beside the blonde. "All throughout classes, she was humming that song you were humming."
"Don't you want her to be happy?" Quinn said, and that seemed to silence her boyfriend a little. "Besides, that song's perfect."
Perfect enough for her, Quinn thought. And hopefully perfect enough for me.
~~~
It hadn't even been a week when Berry came looking for Quinn, her face litted up and her eyes twinkling. The blonde had been nervous then, afraid that the brunette had seen through her anonymous notes, afraid that Berry would start thinking that Quinn would want to be friends now. Quinn was still adamantly confused as to what she wanted to do with Berry, but she decided that she'd take things one step at a time. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. Honestly, Quinn was desperately trying to convince herself that her sudden change of heart towards Berry wasn't because she liked her, oranything. Quinn was just... friendly. Enough. Friendly enough.
"Quinn, I would like to speak to you." The brunette seemed giddy with happiness.
Quinn couldn't control her wide grin forming on her face. A small part of her – just a small, tiny little part – hoped that Berry had seen through her disguise. Rachel definitely seemed much happier now. Much more like herself, unlike the stranger Rachel Quinn had met that night of Regionals.
"Go on, Rupaul." Still, the blonde didn't show any signs of endearment. Yet.
Rachel barely looked peturbed by her comment. "I've been thinking. Quinn, you've made me insecure. You told me I wasn't good enough, I couldn't get things right – but – Quinn, who are you to judge me for who I am, when you're a diamond in the rough? I'm sure you got some things you'd like to change about yourself, as well."
Quinn tried to contain her smile. "Berry, you didn't just recite a song's lyrics, did you?"
"How would you know that?" The brunette drew back in wonder. "Quinn?"
The blonde shook her head vigorously in a futile attempt to shake that thought off Rachel. "Of course not. And your point of telling me this now is...?"
"Look, I know I'm not perfect like you. But I am perfect in my own way, and you are too. And I know better now, Quinn, I know my place, and I know yours. But I thought we were friends – and friends help each other. And that's why I want to help you." The sincerity in those eyes startled the blonde.
"I don't have any problems." Quinn was genuinely confused. She had been the one trying to help Berry all these while, but now the tables were turned, and Rachel was offering to help her? It was all so contradicting; so confusing.
"Remember that day? We wanted to write a song together in the auditorium, but ended up in a fight? I apologise for that. But those words lingered – your dreams, Quinn, remember? You told me about your dreams? After giving it some thought, I realised that they... they're tying you down." Rachel seemed hesitant, but determined.
"My dreams are perfectly realistic, thank you very much." Really, it was quite offending to hear that.
"Yes, they are. But dreams aren't supposed to be realistic. You say you want to be a real-estate agent, creating a family with Finn who will eventually take over Kurt's father's shop. But that's not good enough for you. You're far better than that. You need to understand that you don't need to stay in Ohio forever, Quinn. You're beautiful, you ace straight As, and you have a lovely voice. You have everything going for you, so I don't see why you want to be stuck here."
"I'm not like you, Berry." Quinn's voice dropped to a soft whisper. "I can't afford to dream."
"Yes, you can." The brunette gently took the blonde's hands into hers. Quinn gazed down at the sudden touch. It felt comforting. At ease. Just like what Quinn had been doing for the brunette all these while; trying to comfort her, trying to tell her that she was perfect enough to be whoever she wanted, not to get tied down by anyone else's words. Now Rachel was doing the same.
Briefly, Quinn wondered if Rachel knew it was her.
"Why are you helping me now?" Quinn tried to look away, again; she always did this when embarrassed, when she couldn't find things to say, to counterback. When she realised she had a heart that could break.
"Because someone's been helping me." Rachel broke into a wry grin. "It's a long story, but... that person's made me realise something. That perfection is everywhere, that you can't lose faith in yourself. Just like how Glee club believes in me, just like how that person believes in me – I believe in you, Quinn. I know you don't for me, but – I do, for you, and I hope this changes something between us."
It was silent for a moment.
Quinn couldn't find anything to say, except;
"Thank you, Rachel."
In that instant, she felt the brunette let go of her hands instinctively, allowing them to fall to her sides freely again. Quinn realises Rachel's touch was soft. She kind of missed it. That type of warmth.
As Rachel gave a cheerful nod and made her way past to class, Quinn wonders whether Rachel ever felt like this. Whether this was the undescribable, bubbly feeling Rachel got each time she opened her locker to find a new note from Quinn.
Quinn heard the hummings of Rachel soon after. Pfft, silly Disney songs. Quinn laughed to herself, truly, genuinely, for the first time after a long while.
Quinn wonders whether this is how it feels to be perfect.
As she pulls open her locker, she sees a distinctive pink note lying at the top shelf.
You've got every right to a beautiful life. Gold star, Rachel Berry.
~~~
A/N: I hoped you enjoyed it! I've always felt like Glee's season 2 was missing something... Some Faberry goodness/friendship to cheer you up? ;) The song is Who Says by Selena Gomez. I'm utterly in love with it! I felt that it would be perfect for the both of them rn.
It's my first Glee fic, and a Quinn/Rachel one that! Do comment.