Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory franchise or any characters associated with the franchise. All rights belong to Roald Dahl, Tim Burton, and Warner Bros. Pictures. This is not my intellectual property, and no financial gain is made from this nor will be sought. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Author's note: Hi, everyone! This oneshot I've penned wouldn't have existed had a kind guest reviewer not commented on one of my stories. The review this person left behind said, "How about a oneshot where Willy Wonka gets lost in the Sahara Desert?" As I wrote, different ideas came to my mind, and I thought I should include the Dirt Desert, which is a room that MysteriousMaker1185 and myself came up with to include in my story, "Next in Line". It's in Chapter 22 if you want to read it in context. With that aside, enjoy my latest story! :)
"...and the eccentric chocolatier, Mr. Willy Wonka, has done it again! He and his team of, uh, Boompa-Roombas or whatever his workers are called, have finished constructing a brand new palace for Prince Pondicherry that will never melt!" An enthusiastic roar of applause was heard as a gigantic Indian palace came into view, and it was made entirely out of Mr. Wonka's Never-Melting chocolate. Prince Pondicherry and his wife were standing proudly in front of the main entrance.
"Thank you so, so much, Mr. Wonka!" Prince Pondicherry said with excitement. "Our palace will rival the Taj Mahal in terms of its grandeur and fame! I mean, this palace will never melt, so this time, we will actually live in it!" The applause from the crowd was so thunderous, it made the occasion when Wonka's factory opened sound like that of a small garage band finishing a gig in comparison.
"How many times are you gonna watch that news footage?" Charlie asked Mr. Wonka. The two chocolatiers were sitting in the Television Room, watching a recording of the momentous occasion that took place two months ago. The lights in the room were dimmed so that they no longer had to wear protective goggles each time they wanted to watch the TV.
"As many times as I want to," Willy replied, pressing the rewind button on the remote with a gloved finger. "In case you didn't know, all of my chocolate these days, with the exception of chocolate that's supposed to be melted, is made from my own Never-Melting recipe, and boy, have I patented it! Well, after Fickelgruber stole the original recipe, that is, but I've made numerous tweaks and improvements to it since that tragic event. The recipe used to only apply to my Never-Melting ice cream, but shortly after my expedition to Loompaland, I decided to travel to the Sahara Desert to test the recipe on other kinds of chocolate."
Charlie's jaw dropped. "You went there, of all places?" he asked, bewildered.
"Well, yeah, of course," Mr. Wonka responded before he let out a soft giggle. "If you want to invent special varieties of chocolate that won't melt even in the hottest climates, the desert's the ideal place to test it."
"So, what happened while you were in the Sahara Desert?" Charlie inquired.
"Well, let me tell you," Mr. Wonka said just before switching off the TV. They rotated their chairs so that they were directly facing each other. "For starters, I was not alone. Some of the Oompa-Loompas traveled with me to ensure my safety, so we weren't in terrible danger of dying from thirst or hunger. With that taken care of, I actually found myself at peace in the desert, believe it or not. If you travel off the beaten path, which is what I did of course, you'll quickly find that you're all alone, in a vast landscape of nothing but golden sand and rolling dunes for miles around in every direction. Remember when I told you, back at your former home, that a chocolatier has to run free and solo, and follow his dreams? That's precisely what I was doing in the middle of the Sahara Desert, and I loved it."
"But...didn't you find it terribly hot over there?" Charlie asked.
"For sure!" Willy answered. "I've long been used to the effects of cranking up the thermostat in the factory since the Oompa-Loompas simply can't stand the cold, but this kind of heat was different. Add the Sun's rays into the equation and you might as well be in the fudge boiler like poor Augustus, but this time, the machine was on full blast! Yes, it was scorching hot during the daytime, but at night, the desert actually cooled down to a comfortable temperature. And the stars! Oh, gosh, the stars, and the constellations! They were clearer than crystal. Even the best cameras and highest-resolution photographs won't do it any justice. You have to see it with your own eyes to believe it."
"Did you fulfill your mission?" Charlie asked, but he immediately regretted doing so since it was a stupid question.
Mr. Wonka frowned. "Well, if I didn't, none of my products would be made from Never-Melting chocolate now, would they? Not to mention, one of the most unique rooms in the entire factory wouldn't even exist, and I don't think you've seen it yet!"
"I've only been here for three months," Charlie reminded him. "I still have a lot of rooms to explore, and given how more are being constructed seemingly all the time—"
"Come along, Charlie!" Mr. Wonka interrupted him as he sprung up from his chair and hopped across the Television Room like a kangaroo. Charlie ran after him. "We mustn't dilly, or dally, because I'm super excited to show you the—oof!" Mr. Wonka banged his head on the doors of the Great Glass Elevator and fell to the ground in a heap. "Ugh, I really need to be more careful around this thing. It happens every day." He got back onto his feet and pressed the button to open the doors, and they did so with the nice "ding" sound that the elevator always makes.
Charlie and Mr. Wonka stepped into the Great Glass Elevator together, and after a quick scan of the wall that had hundreds of buttons all over it, Mr. Wonka pushed a button that read: "DIRT DESERT (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)".
"Hold on, Charlie!" Mr. Wonka exclaimed as the doors closed, and the elevator violently lurched sideways. After three minutes of sudden starts and stops in all directions, as well as cruising through several different rooms, the elevator descended into a room that looked completely different than any other area in the factory. Once the elevator landed and the dust settled, Mr. Wonka said, "Feast your eyes."
They had landed in the middle of a vast desert, with fine, golden sand, spearmint cacti, and a few rock candy boulders scattered here and there. There were towering sand dunes all around them, and off in the distance, they could see a Sphinx, a row of colorful pyramids, and a rather large oasis.
"Welcome to the Dirt Desert!" Willy announced as the doors slid open, and they walked out onto the sand.
"It's so...hot in here!" Charlie remarked.
"Well, it's a desert," Mr. Wonka said, shrugging his shoulders. "What did you expect? Anyway, let me show you around."
"Why did you call it the Dirt Desert, Mr. Wonka?" Charlie asked him.
"Well, it's technically a pun. You ever heard of dirt dessert, Charlie? It's a type of dessert geared towards children that consists of chocolate made to look like mud, and there are usually gummy worms and a toy bulldozer that is included with it. I could have just called this room the Never-Melting Chocolate Room, since this is actually where we produce it now, but I did not want to cause any confusion with the Chocolate Room, which of course, is a vast landscape in its own right. I also could have called it the Desert Room, but you know I'm more creative than that. Therefore, the name 'Dirt Desert' quickly came to my mind."
"I see," Charlie said.
"Anyway, the sand that we're walking on is made from vanilla cookie crumbs!" Mr. Wonka said proudly. "It's perfectly edible, as is nearly everything else in this room."
"Yikes!" Charlie yelped as he accidentally stepped on a rattlesnake. "Y-you have those in the Dirt Desert?!"
"Don't worry, Charlie," Mr. Wonka said calmly as a life-sized camel made of Never-Melting caramel walked in front of him. "The animals in this room are actually sentient candies, so they don't bite."
"Hehe, Caramel Camel," Charlie giggled as he watched the camel walk away, leaving caramel-filled footprints in the sand. "I like it."
"I'm glad you do, Charlie," Willy said with a smile. He suddenly began to briskly walk towards one of the sand dunes. "Now, follow me."
Charlie ran to catch up with his mentor as they ascended the dune. Once they reached the top, which must have been about sixty feet high, Mr. Wonka led him down the other side. As soon as they reached the bottom, they were standing right in front of the Sphinx. It was a gargantuan structure that featured the head of an Oompa-Loompa and the body of a Cocoa Cat.
"That Sphinx is made from graham cracker crumbs that have been compressed to form a solid shape," Mr. Wonka said. "And just to the right, you can see our trio of Food Pyramids."
Charlie's jaw dropped in awe as he feasted his eyes on the pyramids. They had designs on them that depicted extra-sugary candy on the top, and less sugary candy on the bottom.
"As you can see," Mr. Wonka continued, "these Food Pyramids are inspired by the ones that nutritionists use, but since this is a chocolate factory, our candies are ranked from the most sugary to the least sugary! Isn't that neat? Anyway, the purpose of the Food Pyramids is actually to house the machines that produce our Never-Melting candies. The machines are located deep within the center of each pyramid. Those candies were originally manufactured in a room that looked somewhat like the Inventing Room, but shortly after you won the Golden Ticket contest, I decided to use my newfound creativity to recreate the atmosphere of the Sahara Desert, and I thought the pyramids would be the ideal location to produce the Never-Melting candies. Unfortunately, we can't go inside since they are still under construction, but once it's done, the pyramids' security system will feature a maze of tunnels, and various traps like what you would find in Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones! I promise I'll show the machines to you once construction is over. Let's go to the oasis now!"
After crossing another gigantic sand dune, they finally reached the oasis. There was an enormous lake of bright blue liquid, dozens of palm trees, chocolate and lemonade fountains, and a row of geysers that sent explosive bursts of colorful liquid high into the air. A group of chocolate frogs made themselves home on some of the boulders, and a few desert vipers were poking their heads out from underneath those boulders to see what was going on.
"This lake consists entirely of cold blueberry milkshake," Willy lectured, "which has been cooled to just three degrees above the freezing point. The Oompa-Loompas often bathe in the lake for therapeutic purposes, but there's no one here today. Remember that they are used to an extremely hot climate, so they don't mind the desert. That liquid you see shooting out of those geysers, Charlie, is actually soda! All different kinds of soda, including strawberry, orange, grape, root beer, cream soda, snozzberry, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles, bubble-ade, bubble cola, double cola, double bubble burp-a-cola, and all that other crazy carbonated stuff that tickles your nose! Now, before we head back to the Great Glass Elevator, there are still a few more areas to show you."
After several minutes of walking across the scorching hot sand, the two chocolatiers reached a sunken area between two dunes that appeared to be full of caramel.
"This stuff is called Quickaramel!" Mr. Wonka announced. "It's a special type of caramel that has quicksand-like properties, so I would not recommend going down there." He led Charlie over to another nearby pit, which was home to hundreds of snakes. "And this is the Chocolate Snake Pit! I would not recommend going down there either, because unlike the other snakes in the Dirt Desert, these ones are actually venomous."
"Why on earth would you contain them in your factory if they're venomous?" Charlie asked with a horrified expression on his face.
"I just wanted to recreate my experience in the Sahara Desert, that's all," Mr. Wonka responded as they resumed walking. Before long, they approached a sand dune that was bigger than the others.
"This is the last area I'll show you in the Dirt Desert," Mr. Wonka said as they trekked towards the top of the massive dune. "Ready for some action?"
Charlie nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, Mr. Wonka! What are we gonna do?"
"Well, the Oompa-Loompas like to use this particular dune for sandboarding!" Mr. Wonka replied. "They have some fun on the slopes, and then they cool down in the oasis. It's one of the many, many activities that they can participate in during their time off work."
They soon aporoached the summit, where about fifty sandboards of different colors, shapes, and sizes were leaning up against a wall. Most of them were sized for the Oompa-Loompas, but there were a few that were big enough for humans to use. Mr. Wonka chose a purple sandboard, and Charlie chose a red one. After they each donned a pair of goggles, they were off. On the way down, they slalomed left and right, the sides of their sandboards carving into the dune and sending sand particles flying high into the air. They reached the bottom several seconds later, where they skidded to a stop right in front of the Great Glass Elevator.
"Well, that was quite fun," Charlie said with a smile, giving Willy a high-five. "Maybe we should try it again once the Oompa-Loompas are done for the day."
Mr. Wonka checked his watch. "Actually, they should be here very soon. Look at the sky."
They both gazed upwards at the ceiling of the massive room. It was slowly transforming from bright-blue to various shades of yellow, orange, pink, and scarlet, to mimick a sunset.
"Deserts are not just barren wastelands," Mr. Wonka said to Charlie. "They can harbor life, secrets, and many sources of inspiration. They can symbolize humility, purification, and eternity. Deserts can also symbolize loneliness, abandonment, and desolation. I have been through all of these over the course of my life, and I'm sure you have, too. That's why my trip to the Sahara Desert was so significant. Not only did it provide me with the ultimate laboratory to test my recipe for Never-Melting candy; it also provided me with a chance to reflect on my life and what my values stood for, and to change them not only for my own good, but for the good of everyone else around the world. That's what we are all about."
Author's note: I hope you enjoyed my oneshot. As always, feel free to review, and stay tuned for some more updates to my stories! :D