This is something I wrote as a gift for MadSoullessQueen.

I hope you enjoy it.

The sight of Mard Geer in a large, bright, floral print shirt slew Lucy on impact.

There was just something about the disconnect between the imposing king of the underworld, one of the most powerful demons of Zeref in existence, wearing something so… happy. Especially with his patented, perpetual vague smile.

She wheezed and forgot everything she was about to say to him as she doubled over and struggled to draw breath without bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Somehow she didn't think that would go over too well with him, and despite the fact that he was much less of a threat than he used to be, he was still very much a great and powerful demon capable of wiping her from existence and memory with a wave of his hand.

Mard Geer watched her with something resembling curiosity in his dark eyes. "Are you ill?" he questioned.

"Nope." Lucy forced the response past her lips. "I'm good!"

This seemed only to perplex him further. "Then why…" he gestured at her, "…this?" His voice was tinged with mild disgust at this odd new behavior she was exhibiting.

"Did you just point to all of me?"

"No. I gestured to all of you."

No longer as amused by his existence, now that her good humor had been so succinctly and effectively murdered, Lucy straightened her spine and stared back at the demon. "Why are you in my apartment? And how did you get in?" she asked instead, now remembering to wonder about that important fact. Lucy couldn't recall giving him a key (not that she… would under normal circumstances give her apartment key to a demon). And she'd barred the window last week after Natsu had snuck in and decimated her food supplies. "Did you come down the chimney?"

"Clearly not," he stated. "Do I look covered in soot to you? If so, you may want to consider getting your eyes checked out."

Deciding that she didn't want to know after all, Lucy just shook her head at him. "Why the wardrobe change, Mard?"

"It's the Mard Geer," he huffed.

"Why the wardrobe change, Mard Geer," Lucy amended, mimicking his stressing of his name. Funny, she hadn't thought that a powerful demon king would care a little less about details like that. Then again… he was pretty stuffy all around. Which was partly why the shirt was so damn funny to look at.

"The," he added.

"Wait, that's actually a part of your name?"

The Mard Geer nodded. "Yes."

Lucy had not been aware of this. Now she was regretting all of the opportunities to make fun of his name that she'd unknowingly passed up until this point. She would have to make up for lost time – especially if he decided that home invasion was to be a reoccurring thing between them.

Wait, she was getting sidetracked. Back to the topic at hand. "Why the wardrobe change, then?" She couldn't quite bring herself to say his new revealed full name. She just couldn't.

"I was informed that I need to blend in more with humanity," he informed her, his distaste in the garment clear. The demon idly picked at one of the sleeves. "I saw several of your kind wandering around in this type of thing on the way to the store. It seems a bit overly festive, though."

Tourists. He'd unknowingly copied tourists.

He continued, blissfully unaware of the ramifications of his admission. "You seem rather pleasingly dressed for a member of your kind, so I thought to ask your opinion on my human disguise."

"The ensemble isn't complete without sunglasses and a camera," Lucy informed him before she could stop herself. "Also, you need khaki shorts. Very important."

Interest sparked in his expression as he thought over her words. "Very well. I do have a desire to blend in more seamlessly with your kind. Where might I procure these other objects?"

Lucy was pretty certain the sight of the demon king's bare legs would kill them all, but why stop now. "I can show you," she offered. "Just let me grab my wallet."

Soon, she was following him out the door. Pausing to lock the door, Lucy inquired, "How did you pay for all of that by the way?"

"Pay…?"

The genuine befuddlement in his voice nearly killed her with the image it conjured in her mind of the demon king walking into a shop, just taking what he wanted, and leaving again.

"Something is definitely wrong with you," the Mard Geer observed dryly as Lucy once more doubled over in laughter. "Perhaps I should come again later."

"No! We're seeing this through!" Lucy told him, taking vast liberties and grabbing hold of his arm. "Come on, I know some excellent places with which to improve your style."

She would probably be murdered when he eventually discovered the ruse, but this was just way too good of an opportunity to pass up.

After all, it wasn't every day that she had the chance to fill a demon's closet with the prettiest floral print shirts she could find.