I wrote this the night the Being Human (UK) series 3, finale aired because for the first time in a long time I literally screamed at the TV. I've only just found it and got around to typing and uploading it though.
Final Punishment
Nothing can explain the guilt that comes after a kill. The pain, the regret, the remorse, the self-hatred. I never forgave myself for any of the people I killed, I never, for one moment thought it was all right, never. The box tunnel was the final straw. I deluded myself, I truly believed I would never be caught, no one would ever find out. I believed we could just go on living our lives, drinking tea, being human.
It was a joke, a shamble. We're not human. Everything Annie said is true. God, I love her. I truly hope she realises how much I love her. How true that was. I think a part of me died when I saw how much Annie was hurt by all of this. I never meant to hurt her. I never meant to hurt anyone. All I ever wanted was normality. Humanity. I just wanted to be human. To live a life of work and bills and falling in love. And what do I get to be? A vampire in love with a ghost. A mass-murdering vampire who is worse than the likes of Herrick. At least people like him know what they are, how they're acting, they know they're bad. I go around claiming to be the good guy. I'm the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world. I'm a murderer, a monster, I never meant to be but it's what I became. I don't deserve what I've got; Annie is the sweetest girl ever, she deserved to find true love, she deserved a decent guy who would treat her right, who would look after her and care for her. All the thinks Owen wouldn't do and all the things I couldn't do. Then there's George, I may not have always liked Nina but I'm so grateful he's got her. He needs someone and she'd just right. This is going to almost break him but she'll be able to keep him together.
I look at the three of them now; Annie is still in tears, an image that pains me even more, the arrival of Wyndam has shocked the tears away from George, while Nina just looks a little lost. I can see the stake is still in George's hand, his grip is tightening, my heartbeat increases. I know what's coming. It's the right thing, it's what I want so why am I so scared?
George raises the stake and Wyndam thinks it's aimed at him, "Really?" he questions, almost amused.
George spins around and stabs the stake into my chest in one quick movement. I was expecting it and still manages to shock me.
"I'm doing this because I love you," George tells me, taking a step back, letting the stake do its job. The pain quickly spreads over my whole body and it's all I can do not to scream in pain.
"I know," I reply and I do. It's a mild comfort to a dying man that his best friend understands. He wasn't just killing me to save humanity, he was killing me to save me. He knows I couldn't bear to be what I had become.
There's a big part of me that wants to close my eyes, that wants to just give in and scream the house down as I die but I don't, I won't. I force myself to keep them open, to keep silent, I force myself to watch. The last thing I see on this earth is the image of my friends crying and hurt. Because of me. It's my final punishment, it's what I deserve