So I wrote a little fic. It is Swan Queen, a bit rough around the edges but you get the idea.
this is my first try and I would be ecstatic if someone would take a little time out of their day to comment and criticize this in a constructive way.
English isn't my first language and I have some problems writing it properly so if there are some major mistakes (and there are) just point me in the direction and I'll try to terminate them.
I don't own Once Upon A Time or any characters which I may have mentioned, this is purely for entertainment.
The lips to which yours are pressed are chapped and tasted salty; you never expected this to happen, to feel another person so intimate. You haven't felt such warmth in a very long time. The room was dark and damp, the motion of the rolling waves only kept at bay through the embrace you were in, the embrace that couldn't be.
You shouldn't be feeling this glimmer of happiness at a mere touch of lips. Not in this place. Not at this time. Perhaps never. It cost more strength than it should to break the embrace, to part from this dry and hungry mouth.
"Miss Swan, what were you thinking?" you were surprised at yourself and your lack of hesitation in what and how you said it.
"Regina, don't!"
"I have absolutely no idea to what you are referring!"
"You can't tell me that you haven't felt anything! Oh God, Regina! At least look at me!"
But you couldn't. How could you ever, when you were sure to only see what you so desperately wanted to forget? When all you would see there would hurt.
Emma didn't leave you a choice though, and turned you regardless. You did all to not look upon those eyes that would just haunt.
"Miss Swan you can't deny that the circumstances in which we find ourselves currently are more than a little extraordinary thus our reactions to them might be a bit more extreme and ridiculous than what would normally happen. So there is no need for this."
"Bullshit! I have never felt something like this and I know you felt it, too. Regina why can't you just accept what happens between us? Why can't you let go? This, all of this started long before we were crammed on to this walnut of a ship!"
Yes, it did, didn't it? Long before magic even entered this land, when it was still only a mayor and a sheriff, a mayor and a deputy, simply two mothers. She challenged you, made you feel emotions you almost forgot. Ignited a passion you thought long dead. Other feelings started to simper next to your ever present anger, feelings you did not want to analyze.
"Because you are wrong! This does not mean anything." You looked at her to deliver that, but oh, what a mistake that was. You can't help the feeling of loss that moved into your very soul at what you see: dirtied and rumpled clothes, a stance ready for a futile fight, unkempt hair and a face that screams desperation with eyes full of emotions you have ever seen directed at you once. But they are clearer now somehow.
"How can you say that?" you hurt her. You hurt her badly, "how can you say that it doesn't mean anything. That it doesn't matter? What I feel for you is…"
"Is an infatuation, nothing more and nothing less. As I said before: this is a special situation and I am your closest link to Henry."
"No, this is more!"
"Are you trying to tell me that you love me?"
"Well, I…."
"This is preposterous! There has been nothing but disgust between us. And what kind of love could we possibly have? You are too late."
It is unnerving how she refuses to drop your eyes or how you are unable to do it just the same.
"What do you mean to late? Regina you deserve to be loved, and to love in return."
"Oh, but I have dear. A lifetime ago."
"This doesn't mean you can't love again, that you can't be loved again."
She speaks with such a conviction that you really want to believe her, but how can you when it would turn your life in a lie.
"But that's exactly what it means! Don't you understand that all I ever did was because of that love? That all I ever wanted was to find my happy ending again after it was so painfully ripped away from me." You can't stop now, not when she looks at you with so much pain, for herself, for you, for this relationship that can't be. "If this means something, anything, than I did all for naught. Daniel triggered this, my love for him! I turned into something I never wanted to be. I suffered more than anyone should and now you come in here," you don't know which here you mean, this room or your heart, "and tell me that you love me, that I should let go because what we feel is real. No, I simply can't let go! Decades of pain and in the end I did it for a person that never was intended for me? It cost me so much and it should now be worthless?"
Not only has all fight left your body but hers as well. She sagged into herself with an expression you can't read anymore.
"Maybe all of this happened so we could meet, so that we could have a chance at a happy ending. Couldn't I be worth everything you had to endure?"
Despite the ever moving water and the noises of the ship that seemed to breathe in the life you just exhaled, were the moments after her question still and deafening. You couldn't look at her any longer. And soon afterwards were her scrappy boots on the wood floor the only sounds you could perceive.