The morning sun cascades through the window, light scattering into crisp lines, all varying hues of red, yellow, and blue. My eyes strain to adjust to the abrupt change of light, begging to regain my present state of sleep.
I force them open and stare at the ceiling as the gentle movement of our child helps me center my thoughts, my renewed sense of purpose in the world.
My body rolls to the center of the bed, the cold absent space that was once occupied by you, your warmth, your love. Now it remains cold and vacant, echoing the pitiful space in my heart-my physical reminder of what my life has become.
I bury my nose in the adjacent pillow, searching for any trace of you, but the scent has dissipated. Lately it feels as if it were all a dream and that you never existed at all. Pictures are not enough.
The loneliness sinks in and tears begin to fall down my cheeks. This is normal and expected in the weeks that have passed, replacing our routine of love with one of sorrow and grief.
I am learning to live, learning to deal with the loneliness that has seeped back into my life unwarranted. But I am not trying to move on for me. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth.
You are the reason that this pain in my heart exists, but I don't hold it against you anymore. No, you brought me the moments that I will forever treasure, and you gave me him.
My tear stained hand falls to my abdomen as the movement resumes. I smile lightly as my new routine of love begins.
A/N: Sorry for that. I know I haven't written much of anything lately, but this literally popped into my head right as I was drifting off. I typed in about ten minutes on my phone.
And fyi, this took an odd turn. Jane was not supposed to be dead. Maura was supposed to roll into Jane and revel in her warmth. As you can see, that did not happen.
Anyways, I hope I didn't totally kill your feels and I promise that I will be writing more once life dies down. I could never abandon you all or this ship! Thanks for reading!