Arthur Kirkland hated biology class. So much so, that he decided that he just didn't have the patience for dealing with Mr. Germania today, and that he would just skip the class instead. So as the bell rang that signaled the start of 5th period, Arthur Kirkland had never imagined that when in the bathroom, he would find Alfred Jones - who also happened to be skipping class.

Arthur stood, dumbfounded, gawking at the buoyant American in front of him. "J-Jones!? What the bloody hell are you doing he-"

Alfred all but bolted up to Arthur and slapped a hand over his mouth to quiet him, a bit too harshly. Alfred grabbed Arthur's shoulder just before he could fall on his ass. "Dude," Alfred hissed in a hushed tone, "mind keepin' it down? We get caught, we're both done for."

Arthur didn't know what to say, so he just nodded numbly and took two steps back. "What are you doing here, Jones?" Arthur murmured, looking at the door to make sure no one was around. Luckily, it appeared no one had heard him. That was good, at least.

"And I might ask the same of you, Kirkland." Arthur and Alfred had been supposed rivals from when they were just in elementary school. Now, at Junior year in high school, their mutual hatred had all but died down to a facade for their peers. "And what does it look like I'm here for, huh? Same reason as you, I ain't dealin' with Mrs. Shanick today. Nope, fuck English class. And you, by the way."

Arthur didn't know what to do. Usually, Alfred was just crudely polite to him, but never had he treated Arthur like he just had.

And Arthur wouldn't stand for it.

"And how, pray tell, does that justify you being a complete and utter prat!? Yes, I get the whole 'school rivals' bullshit and what not. But to be quite frank, that's all it is! Bullshit!" Arthur was well over worked up by now, and had gotten so caught up in the moment, that he had had started yelling.

"Oh, so it's my fault for totally being a douche to me for the past three years!? Hm, Mr. Student Council President? Or should I say Mr. Stupid Council President!?" And now Alfred was getting angry. And Kirkland thought him the asshole here?

"Who's there!?"

And everything froze.

Alfred's eyes widened, without thinking, he pulled Arthur into the stall behind him. Throwing himself down on the toilet seat and plopping Arthur down on his lap. He shut and locked the stall, putting his feet against the door. Arthur was beet red but silently did the same, feeling Alfred's panicked breath against his neck.

"Hello? I said who's there! Come out right this instant or you're only going to be in more trouble!"

Oh no, Mr. Wilkins, the school P.E. teacher, had heard them.

"If you're not coming out, then I'm coming in!"

Arthur felt Alfred suck in a breath, trying to think of an escape route. But it was too late. He tightened his grip on Arthur, preparing for the worst. They waited with baited breaths for Mr. Wilkins to walk in on their stall and suspend them. Oh no, Arthur thought, imagine what the newspaper club is going to say about this! 'Alfred Jones and Student Council President Found in Bathroom Stall Making Out!?'

Arthur swallowed, but found his throat was dry. He tried to rearrange himself on Alfred's lap, the warmth Alfred radiated was almost inhuman. Alfred wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist and pulled him against his chest, effectively stopping any of Arthur's previous movements. If possible, Arthur's face got even hotter.

Footsteps were heard walking in their direction, the first stall in the bathroom being slammed open.

Then the second.

Then the third.

Then the one just to the left of them.

Mr. Wilkins kicked the door that Alfred and Arthur was in, but any movement was ceased by Alfred's foot on the door. They heard Mr. Wilkins stop, lightly push on the door again, and look under the door. Arthur and Alfred's breath caught, neither breathing in fear of getting found. Mr. Wilkins face hovered under the door for a moment longer before he stood back up, grumbling the whole time.

"Dammed kids, leaving the stalls locked when they leave," he griped. "I don't have time for this shit, I've got a class in five minutes." Retreating footsteps were heard as Mr. Wilkins walked out of the bathroom.

Arthur and Alfred breathed a sigh of relief.

After about another minute of caution and calming themselves, Arthur tried moving again, hoping for Alfred to let go of him so he could get off his lap.

And then he felt it.

Alfred was hard.

Arthur jumped up, shoving Alfred's legs aside and flinging the door open. He ran out of the bathroom as fast as his petite legs would allow.

Student Council be dammed, Arthur needed to be away from Alfred. Now.

Unimportant Notes: So guys, how'd like that one-shot?

This idea isn't mine, it was inspired off of a post by eldritch; post/101702088065/shitty-high-school-aus-tho-cramming-until-3-in

Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this, because I certainly did. I wrote this at 2am with a cup of coffee in my hand and I was laughin' my ass off at the joke Alfred said.