Distractions, a harry potter fanfic

Distractions.

At the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, the first scene fades in from blackness and the now familiar music begins to play as a snowy owl swoops into view and the camera starts following it as it flies towards a house in an ordinary suburban setting, the music strangely getting louder and louder until its high notes start to physically hurt the ears as the camera moves away from the owl and swoops, alone, through a second floor window until a bed can be seen. On the bed, two teenage males are engaged in an act which shouldn't be watched by the target audience.

"Harry!" Draco Malfoy bellowed. "Just turn that bloody music down! It's so distracting to hear it at that volume while I'm trying to fuck you into the mattress!"

"Why are you trying to fuck me into the mattress, anyway?" Harry Potter asked from below the Slytherin.

"Well, because we're boyfriends. That's what boyfriends do."

"Yes, but why are we boyfriends? The last I remember is promising myself to Ginny Weasley."

"Yes, I know you did, but do you really think the Potter fandom cares about that? You know that some of them have you shagging Granger even after J.K. Rowling had you promise yourself to the Weaselette."

"Ah, yes. The Almighty J.K. Rowling, our creator. Why does she have any more right to control our actions than the fans do?"

"Well, I don't know," Draco replied in a sarcastic tone. "Maybe because without her, we wouldn't even exist?"

"Yes, but if we didn't exist, then we couldn't be placed into weird situations like the one between you, Snape, and your dad."

"Hmm, you may have a point there. Although I do have to admit it was extremely enjoyable, even if it was incest."

"You're disgusting!"

"I prefer the term 'debauched,' it's rather more accurate. Anyway," Draco continued, pulling himself out of his lover, "all this talking has put me off what I was doing."

"Oh, good!" Harry exclaimed. "Maybe if you're that distracted, I'll get to top this time!"