A/N: This idea popped into my mind while I was listening to Apocalyptica "Farewell" and reading W. H. Auden – "Funeral Blues". I think it would have been more appropriate for a yaoi pairing, but I chose Nejihina nonetheless... I hope you enjoy it...
Lots of love...
ME! ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own anything... Lyrics belong to W. H. Auden and Neji and Hinata belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
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Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
It was a quiet winter day in Konoha. Every person was going to the cemetery to pay their respects to the fallen hero, the one who had saved the entire village with the price of his life. Everybody was there, except for only one person. Nobody remembered, of course, that that day was her birthday. How ironically... They were all paying their respects to the only person who cared indeed about her. That day will always be remembered as the day in which HE died. HE. The greatest hero Konoha could possibly have. Who would have ever thought?
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
She got the news of the baby first. She hadn't been feeling very well throughout the last month, so she decided to make a routine control. She discovered she was pregnant. Of course, she had been happy and she couldn't wait to tell her husband... That is, when he came back from the mission. But he never did... He never showed up the next day, or the next ones. As autumn was departing, she started worrying. What was happening? Surely, there had been a misunderstanding and her husband would be back soon enough... But when? Then, she got that horrible news. She received a letter in a black envelope telling her that the Fifth Hokage, Neji Hyuuga, her husband, was found dead. She couldn't believe one single word and, without realising, tears were forming in her pale orbs and her hand was clenching her stomach. She could feel the new and innocent life forming inside her. She knew it wasn't anybody's fault and yet she couldn't stand the fact that she never got the chance to apologize him. For what? She did not know. She was furious because she hadn't made her analysis earlier. If she did, maybe he wouldn't have left in that mission... She had the sole guilt. She was guilty more than his murderers. She remembered that in that specifically night, when she went to see his body, after seeing the lifeless body lying in front of her, she had a breakdown. She started yelling and hitting him in his chest and she had to be transported to the hospital. Everybody feared for her safety. No! She corrected herself. Everybody feared for the child's safety. She was not worth it, but that little kid, who would most certainly inherit his father's genius was in great danger, for he was carried by an "unstable" woman.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
But no... She wasn't unstable... She just loved him. She loved her husband so much; she loved him more than anything else in the world. She remembered the day when her father told her that she would have to marry Neji. She remembered her coldness and her tears on their first months together. But then, it all... Changed... Neji wasn't the same anymore and nether was she. They were more mature and they finally understood that their marriage is in the best interest of the clan. Months passed and they grew attached to each other, reaching to that final point when one cannot live without the other. She could not and would not live without him. She didn't care about anything... It was her birthday and the funeral of her husband. She knew that she had to pretend being stable to be left alone in that whole compound. She looked at her belly again. She hated that little life inside her. She hated it with ardour, for it hadn't came soon enough to save him. But she knew what needed to be done... Oh, yes... She went to the kitchen. If someone had seen her smile in that moment, he would have said that Hinata wasn't Hinata, that there is probably some blood thirsty criminal. But she was Hinata. She was THE Hinata she had always wanted to be. She wanted to take her own decisions, not to be influenced by anyone. And so she did...
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
She resisted even the urge to go on the top of the roof to watch the stars; it was the thing that calmed her the most. But now, she didn't want to be calm anymore. She hated everything; she hated all her family, telling Neji how worthless he is, pushing him in being Hokage, clouding his mind. She hated her father for not stopping him, not telling him he was strong enough. She hated all their "friends" who were never there when she asked them to go in that mission instead of him, because she knew that something would go terribly wrong. She was the only one who understood him, the only one who was proud of him. And now, all those people, all those strain people would pay their "respects" to him. She will show them respects, all right... The first blow was in her stomach. Blood gushed form her abdomen and mouth splashing her impeccable kimono and her spotless white beddings. She just smiled peacefully. She would be with her love soon enough. She had to be with her love soon enough, for nothing was even worth it looking to. Hinata means "sunny place"... She sure wasn't sunny... Her vision blurred and, in that whole agony, she saw Neji, carrying a baby in his arms and he reached forth to grab her hand.
That's how they found her... With a peaceful expression, in a blood bath. They all presumed she was crazy...
Nobody came to her funeral...