A/N: This is for a fill on the Detentionaire kink meme. It basically branches off from the beginning of episode 25 (Knock Knock), if Holger's phone had been rigged to make him fall in love with Cam instead of with Kimmie.
"Uhnkay, first off, it's Disgruntled Pigeons, a game about parakeets would be mucho stupid. They're like, yellow, and lame. And second, it was no accident, man." Cam grinned. "I am free from the tyranny of technology, yo!"
Lee rolled his eyes and went back to messing with Radcircles' phone, wandering off. Before Cam could follow him, six feet of loud blonde Viking came racing down the sidewalk.
"Cam! Oh, oh, Cam!" Holger dashed over to his smaller friend and swooped him up into his arms, swinging him around. "Cam!"
"Dude!" Cam pushed Holger's too-close face away from his own. "What're you doing?"
"Cam is looking most handsome today," Holger said, trying to nuzzle his nose into Cam's outstretched hands.
Cam snatched his hands away.
"Quit being so weird, ese." Cam glanced around nervously at the students walking past them into the schoolyard, giving the two boys weird looks. "Put me down."
Holger pouted but gently set Cam back on his feet. Cam smoothed the front of his jacket and gave a few passing cheerleaders his most manly smile. They giggled and walked away. Cam's shoulders slumped a bit. He was used to his foreign friend's touchy-feely personality, but he wasn't a big fan of all the looks they got because of it.
"You're cramping my style, man," he said, looking back over at shoulder. He jumped when he realized Holger's face was about half an inch away from his.
"Is Cam needing Holger to walk him to class?" Holger asked hopefully, holding up Cam's books.
"Where did you…?"
"Come!" Holger said, draping his free arm around Cam's shoulders and marching him off to his first period class, humming as he walked. Cam sighed a defeated sigh and let himself be led.
"Hey, bro!" Cam called, catching sight of Lee by his locker just before lunch. Lee grinned at him and the two fist bumped.
"Where've you been?" Lee asked, shoving some books into his locker.
"What d'you mean, dude?"
"I've been looking for you and Holger all morning. Actually, where is Holg? Have you seen him?" Lee asked, glancing up and down the hall like he expected the tall blonde to appear out of thin air.
"Si, dude, this morning," Cam answered. "Why?"
"He wasn't in first period with me," Lee answered. A look of worry crossed his face.
"That's weird, dude. I wonder where he went after he walked me to class…"
Lee's worry turned into a smirk. "He walked you to class?" he asked, shoving Cam teasingly.
Cam scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. "I dunno, ese, the guy was acting weird this morning. Weirder than normal."
"That's the Holgermeister," Lee said. "I hope he's okay, though."
Before Cam could answer, a loud, very familiar voice echoed through the school hallway. "Oh Caaaaam~"
Cam cringed as Holger shoved his way through a crowd of students and threw himself to his knees in front of Cam. He held a massive bouquet of scraggly wildflowers. "Cam! Holger is bringing the most beautifulest vildblommarcakes for the most handsome of El Presidentes."
Cam felt his face heating even as he told himself not to blush. His red ears flamed as students walking by laughed. Lee even chuckled next to him.
"Holg, man, what're you doing?" Cam asked, trying to laugh too.
"Holger spend all of the morning making the pretty bouquet for El Presidente," Holger said seriously. He shoved the flowers at Cam, still on his knees.
"Um, mucho thanks, dude," Cam said, trying to sound like he was in on this joke. He took the flowers from Holger and smiled nervously at the snickering kids around them. "Hey, hey, uh, everybody! Today is, uh… today is bring flowers to El Prez day! So, uh, yeah. Everybody bring me flowers and stuff."
A few kids rolled their eyes and nodded. The snickering crowd dispersed.
"Listen, guys, I gotta get to detention before Barrage shows up," Lee said, suddenly serious. "But I have to talk to you about Radcircles after school, okay?" Then he loosened up and grinned, punching Cam's shoulder playfully. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."
"We're not-!" Cam started, but Lee was already dashing off, laughing. Cam hunched his shoulders and grumbled.
"Cam!" He jumped as Holger threw his arms around his shoulders and put his chin on his shoulder.
"Bro!" Cam shoved him away. Holger's lower lip began to wobble. His eyes got wide and watery behind his shades.
"Is Cam not liking the Holgermeister?" he asked.
Cam sighed. "I like you, I like you. Just… no more flowers, okay?"
Holger nodded emphatically as Cam shoved the flowers in his locker.
"Okay! Holger be bringing chocolate tomorrow instead."
Cam rolled his eyes and headed towards the cafeteria, Holger following after him like a lost puppy.
Cam sat on the front steps of the school, watching students stream out of the building and into cars and buses. He really wished he hadn't broken his phone—he could be playing Disgruntled Pigeons right now if those MWF things weren't such pieces of crap.
"Cam!" Cam looked up as Holger came sprinting down the steps towards him. "My most handsomest friend!"
"Aw, ese, don't be weird," Cam said. "I already let you feed me at lunch, that was, like, totally bad enough."
Holger laughed, pleased, and grabbed one of Cam's hands. "Would Cam be liking to come to the mall with Holger?"
"Yo, we're supposed to be waiting for Lee, ese. He wants to tell us something about Rad-C, remember?"
"Oh, then we can do the waiting for the Lee of Pings together, my sweetenshoofen."
"Don't-" Cam was interrupted by Holger's phone ringing.
"Hello?" Holger's eyes widened slightly and he passed the phone to Cam. "Is for you."
"What?" Cam took the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello?" His eyes widened too as a familiar song filled his head.
He looked back over at Holger, then handed him his phone. "We need to go."
Holger nodded. "Let us go."
They joined the stream of students leaving the building.
Cam pulled the collar of his jacket up as high as he could, shrinking down to try and hide his face behind it. Holger had an iron grip on his hand, pulling him excitedly from store to store in the mall.
"Is Cam enjoying the date-times?"
"Yo, this isn't a date, ese," Cam said. "We're just two bros at the mall, comprende?"
But Holger was already distracted, squealing excitedly and dragging Cam to a kiosk selling heart-shaped chocolates.
Cam stood awkwardly beside his friend, still trying to hide in his big coat, while Holger hemmed and hawed over different chocolates.
"Camillio?"
Cam jumped and spun around. Brandy stood a few feet away, flanked by the two Glamazons who's names Cam could never pin down.
"Uh. H-hey chiquita! Holg and I were just, uh. Buying chocolates. For chicas! Not for, uh, each other."
Brandy laughed, hands on her hips.
"Cam, are you and Holger on a date?"
Cam's traitor face turned red again. "No."
Holger looked up from his armload of chocolates to make a sad face. "But Cam. Holger has bought you the candy of hearts." He thrust the chocolates at Cam. Cam's face flamed redder.
He glanced around wildly, then put his hands on Holger's shoulders and pushed him towards a nearby stationary store.
"Oh, look! There's uh. There's like a sale on pink unicorn pens! We'd, like, better go buy some, Holg." Holger squealed and clapped, dashing towards the store. Cam looked over his shoulder at Brandy and laughed nervously. "I'll, uh, see you around, chica!"
Brandy laughed and gave him a small wave as she walked away. "Let me know how the date goes!"
"We're not-! Urgh, why does everyone do this to me," Cam grumbled under his. He stalked after Holger, shoulders hunched.
Holger sighed happily, leaning his head on Cam's shoulder.
They were sitting on a bench in a part of the mall Cam was pretty sure no one their age was going to be, between a place that sold walkers and a drugstore that specialized in denture glue and adult diapers. Now that he didn't have to worry about Brandy, or anyone else, coming to tease him about being on a stupid date (which this definitely wasn't, even if Holger had been acting like a complete weirdo all day), he didn't mind spending time with one of his best bros.
Since his main man Lee had been saddled with a million years of detention and grounding, Cam had found himself spending all his free time with his freaky Viking friend. Oh sure, the cool kids hung out with El Prez at school, but his nights and weekends were usually spent playing video games with Holger in his basement room.
And he didn't really mind.
Holg mumbled something in his half-sleep, cuddling closer to Cam. Cam rolled his eyes for the benefit of some old ladies walking slowly by, but he found himself running a hand through Holger's hair. It was really pretty nice and soft. He twisted a strand of it around his finger and admired the golden colour.
"The mall will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please make your final purchases before closing time." The voice on the mall's loudspeaker woke Holger out of his half slumber. He raised his head slightly from Cam's shoulder and looked at him with sleepy eyes.
"Will Cam be Holger's zurklandt?" he asked, smiling.
"Your whaat?"
"Holger's zurklandt," Holger repeated. His eyes became wide and hopeful behind his sunglasses. "For the dance-times."
Cam laughed nervously. The old ladies had disappeared into the drugstore. Their stretch of the hallway was empty. Holger pressed himself a little closer to Cam and smiled.
"Well, like, I don't have anyone to go with, because you know, like, Brandy's with Lee—not that I'm interested in Brandy, uh—I mean, I'm El Prez, I could have any chiquita, but uh…" Holger's eyes widened in anticipation. "Uhnkay."
Holger clapped his hands excitedly, then threw his arms around Cam and hugged him tight.
And Cam found himself hugging back.
Cam was flopped out on his couch, messing around with the browser version of Disgruntled Pigeons on his laptop. (It wasn't nearly as good as the phone version.) A little icon at the bottom of his screen lit up suddenly, alerting him that Lee was online. He clicked it, opening up a chat screen.
"Yo, Lee!"
"Dude, where ya been? I've been trying to call you all night," Lee answered, sitting down in front of his screen.
"At the mall with Holg. My phone's broken, remember?"
"I know, but Holger wasn't answering either."
Cam said nothing.
"But get this!" Lee continued, leaning closer to the screen. "Lynch is Radcircles!"
All of Cam's thoughts about his evening with Holger suddenly left his head. "Whaaat? That nerdy nerd? No way!"
"Way! And I think he's been working with Barrage."
"Whaaat? We gotta like stop them right away, pronto-styles."
The light in Lee's bedroom suddenly flicked off and Cam could hear his mom's voice faintly in the background. "Lights out. Say goodnight."
"I've gotta go. Night-" Lee started.
"Wait!" Cam said quickly, waving his hands in front of his webcam. "Uh, so, you know how I said I was at the mall with Holg?"
"Yes. Cam, I have to go, my mom-"
"Wait, uh." Cam swallowed hard. "So, uh, Holger maybe kinda like asked me to go to the dance with him and I mighta kinda said yes."
Lee's eyes bugged and Cam felt his face flaming red for the umpteenth time that day.
"Uh but you know! Just like as bros or whatever. Not like a date-date."
Lee shook his head. "I have to go, Cam. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Night." And his screen went black.
Cam leaned into the back of the couch, feeling queasy.
Cam sat in his first period class the next day, music blasting in his headphones, tapping a beat against the side of his desk. He hadn't intentionally avoided Lee and Holger this morning… Well, maybe only slightly intentionally.
He drummed his fingers more furiously against his desk. How could he waste his first dance as a cool kid, as El Presidente, on Holger? He could have asked Toni—she'd seemed pretty interested in him earlier. He'd even sort of really liked her for a while there. And Brandy—well Brandy was Lee's, but if she wasn't he could have totally asked her. Maybe.
But not Holger. Holger was weird and uncool and, well, he was a guy.
And Cam definitely wasn't… gay. Or whatever.
"All eyes and ears front and center!" The screech of Barrage's voice thundered loud enough through the school's loudspeakers to cut through the music blasting into Cam's ears. He winced and slipped his headphones off, looking up at the TV screen in the corner of the class. "Oh, and I almost forgot… Say goodbye to the dance. It's cancelled!"
A rush of relief flooded Cam as Barrage's face disappeared from the screen. There was no dance. By the time the next dance of the year rolled around, Holger would probably forget about his sudden urge to ask his best bro to be his date. Cam relaxed. If Lee asked, he'd tell him it was all a joke. Pranking the ultimate prankster and all that.
A minute later, the speakers crackled to life again. "Would the following report to room 113B: Camillio Martinez and Brandy Silver. It's me, Chaz, toodles!"
Cam stood up from his seat and waved to his teacher as he left the room, pulling his headphones back on. He absently wondered why he and Brandy were being called somewhere.
"Cam~ How was your date with Holgy?"
Cam jumped at the sound of Brandy's voice behind him.
"It wasn't a date," he said, crossing his arms.
Brandy laughed. "You're cute when you get all defensive."
Cam grumbled some more and she laughed again.
"Don't worry. It's totally cool." She leaned in close to Cam and whispered, "I had a crush on a girl once."
"I… what what? I don't have a crush on Holger!"
Brandy waved her hand nonchalantly and shrugged. "Besides, I always knew Holger was so gay for one of you. I just wasn't sure if it was you or Lee."
"But… Holg has a thing for Greta!"
Brandy laughed. "Maybe like he wants to be her dance partner! Don't worry, Camillio, you and Holger are meant for each other." She winked. "You both have cute accents."
Cam watched, dumbfounded, as Brandy sauntered off to room 113B, waving at him over her shoulder.
"I… I don't have a crush on Holger!" he repeated, chasing after her.
Brandy reached the nondescript green door of room 113B before Cam did and reached for the knob.
"Wait, don't go in there!" Lee came running down the hall, Biffy on his heels, waving frantically at the two of them.
Cam felt a little queasy at the sight of Lee, thinking of their conversation the night before.
"Uh, hey, Lee, my man…"
"Cam, Brandy, don't go in there," Lee repeated, putting his hand over Brandy's on the doorknob.
"Ugh." Brandy pulled her hand away. "You are like the worst BF ever. The dance is tonight, and you still haven't asked me."
"Uh…" Lee paled.
"Bro, chill," Cam interrupted, grabbing the doorknob himself. "This is just some weird janitor's closet."
Lee's eyes widened again.
"Wait, no-"
Cam pushed the door open and Brandy brushed past him into the room, crossing her arms and purposefully not looking at Lee. Cam followed her.
"Wait-!" Lee and Biffy shoved their way into the room too. The door slammed shut behind them, and a familiar song filled the room…
The room was a strange, glowing sort of light blue, with a weird sort of futuristic vibe.
Cam definitely did not remember entering this place.
"Huh? How'd we get here?"
His head ached and he was covered in sticky green apple splat. So was Brandy, standing behind him. He turned to see Lee and Biffy standing next to some broken machine, looking pretty pleased with themselves.
"What's going on, yo?" Cam asked, pinching the bridge of his nose to try to get rid of the aching in his head.
"I think Lynch and Barrage are brainwashing all the students who get called to room 113B," Lee answered.
Cam's eyes widened. "No way. They brainwashed me again? I totally hate that!" The idea of people getting into his brain made his skin crawl. A small voice at the back of his head made him wonder if all this nonsense with Holger was just the result of his brain going haywire from everyone picking at it all the time.
"If we can bring Blompkins down here, and show him all of this, it's over for Barrage," Lee said. He grinned and started to head for the door of the weird room. "Come on, guys."
Biffy followed, and after sharing a look and a shrug, Cam and Brandy followed too.
They were barely out the door, though, when a figure stepped out of the shadows of a nearby hallway.
"Knock, knock." Cam's blood went cold, and he knew Lee's had probably just gone even colder. Or maybe hotter, judging by the angry look that crossed Lee's face.
"Lynch!" Lee snapped.
"Sorry, but you didn't say 'who's there'," Lynch said. The look on his face was almost… gloating. It looked so out of place on the bumbling IT nerd's face. "So I'm gonna have to penalize you for not playing."
Lynch pressed a button on a small green remote in his hand and then suddenly a dozen freaky robot cleaners were blinking to life.
"This way!" Lee shouted as the group began to run. "Hurry!" Lynch's laughter, high-pitched and completely insane, echoed through the glowing blue-white halls.
And even while running from hazmats that were probably about to kill them, Holger was still nagging at the back of Cam's mind.
They raced up the stone steps towards the door that led into the library. Lee pulled out that weird golden key of his, and the door slid open with a groan. They raced into a small room that looked like it had once been part of the library—but Biffy was still at the bottom of the stairs.
"Biffy! No!" Lee shouted, trying to reach for him through the closing door.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Cam shouted, trying to help Lee hold the door open.
The door slammed shut.
Lee frantically shoved his key into the keyhole, but the door remained shut.
"What is all the commotiony-racket?" A door at the other end of the room slid open and Barrage, the vice principal and the superintendent stepped into the room. "And why is there a secret room?"
Cam looked over at Lee—what was going on?
Before he could even ask his friend anything, though, his phone rang. Wait, when had he gotten a new phone? He answered it hesitantly.
Music filled his ears.
"Hm, I'm late for class," Cam said, putting his phone back in his pocket.
He looked over at Brandy. "Me too," she said. Then she smiled. "Oh, hey Cam… Will you go to the dance with me?"
Cam smiled back. "For sure, chica."
He followed her out of the room, smiling to himself. Why had he just been worrying about the dance…? He couldn't remember. But he'd scored a pretty hot date… and he was sure Lee wouldn't mind.
"And where did you make reservations? Perinos is nice but-"
"Okay, chill." Cam interrupted Brandy's longwinded list of requests. "I know the dance is back on and stuff, but my head is like a billion gigawatts of pain, bro." Not to mention something was eating away at the back of his aching brain, like he'd forgotten something really important about the dance.
And then six feet of blonde Viking crashed into the two of them, sending them sprawling into the dirt of the running track.
"Lee. Ping. He is the expelled!" Holger cried.
"What? Keeping secrets?" Brandy shouted, kicking Holger off the two of them. "He is so dead."
Cam stood up, aching a little. Then Holger's words hit him—Lee was expelled? He whipped out his phone to text his main ese—and Holger snatched it out of his hand, and Brandy's phone out of hers.
"No!" he shouted. "Lee says phones are evil! They shampoo your brain…"
Cam watched in confusion as Holger stomped on the phones, reducing them to a crumpled mess of broken parts. God, Holger was acting weird lately. First asking him to the dance, then-
Cam's eyes widened. Holger had asked him to the dance. Before… before the brainwashing.
He put a hand to his forehead, feeling the now all-too-familiar ache of being pulled out of a brainwashed state.
"Wait… It's coming back, man…" he groaned. "The brainwashing room, telephones…" He turned to Brandy.
"I thought that was a dream…" she said slowly. "We were brainwashed? Then that's why…"
Their eyes met. "I asked you to the dance!" she said, just as Cam said, "You asked me to the dance!"
"Whoa…" Cam's stomach sank. He'd only scored a hot chiquita… when they were both brainwashed?
Holger's eyes widened.
"Brandy ask my Cam to the dance?" he said. He grabbed Cam's arm in a panic. "But Cam said he was going to the dance with Holger!"
Brandy's confused look turned into a knowing smirk. "I knew you were so gay for each other."
Cam blushed and hunched his shoulders, looking down at Holger. "I'm… I'm still going to the dance with you, ese…"
Holger grinned hugely and hugged Cam's arm to his chest. "Yay!"
Then he stood up straight, going into serious spy mode. "Now we must be getting the Greta, then be stopping the evil Barrage robot plan! Who is with me?"
Without giving them a chance to answer, Holger ran off, screaming at the top of his lungs. Cam watched him go, then balled his fists.
"No one messes with my mind," he said. The creepy-crawly feeling of knowing people had been messing with his brain was back. "Like a third time. Or… is this like four. Or five. Well, whatever it is, I'm with you!" And he raced after Holger.
This was strictly save-Lee-super-spy time.
He'd worry about Holger and the dance later.
The gym was full of loud music and flashy lights and kids dancing. Cam's memory of the whole day was fuzzy and his headache was reaching splitting levels. He skirted through the crowd until he found Lee, standing near the stage with Tina.
"Bro… I'm so sorry, man," he said, hanging his head. "They got me for like the hundredth time, yo…" He looked up. "We win?"
Lee smiled. "Yeah. I think we kinda did." He gave Cam a friendly shove. "So, you and Brandy…?"
"Uh…" Cam scratched the back of his neck. He looked over at a corner of the gym where Brandy was dancing in a group with Dickie and a few of the other popular kids. "Actually, I think I'm supposed to be here with Holg."
"For real?"
Cam was sure his face had gone from red to purple. "I mean, like, you know, as bros…"
"Cam, dude. It's okay." Lee smiled, and Cam felt a weird sort of rush of relief. The heat in his face faded a little. "Just be good to the big guy, okay?"
Cam rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mom," he said. Lee laughed, and Cam grinned.
"Lee?" Lee turned to Tina, who was giving him a small smile. "Do you want to dance?"
Lee turned back to Cam. "I'll talk to you tonight." He waved, and Cam watched as the two of them disappeared into the crowd.
"Cam! Oh, Cam!" Suddenly Holger's arms were sweeping Cam off his feet and spinning him around. "Will Cam have dancey-times with Holger now?"
Cam glanced around, but everyone was too busy dancing with their own partners to even look over at him and Holger.
Besides, they were just dancing.
"Alright, Holg, dancey-times," he answered, laughing. Holger made excited noises and began spinning Cam around crazily, and Cam found himself not minding so much.
He did find himself minding when they were still dancing furiously an hour later. Well, Holger was dancing. Cam was mostly trying to catch his breath.
"Holg… Are you, like… even human, ese? How do you not get tired, bro…"
Holger slowed down slightly. "Is Cam not wanting to dance?"
"Cam… wants to take a breather, man…"
Holger frowned for a moment, then smiled hugely. He grabbed Cam's hand and led him to the back door of the gym, then into the schoolyard. It was already dark out, flickering streetlamps illuminating the parking lot.
"Uh, ese, where're we, like, going…?"
Holger giggled and led Cam to a tall, thick tree that stood in the corner of the schoolyard. Lights and music spilled out of the gym's open doors and into the cool night outside, but Cam and Holger were the only students outside. Very gently, more gently than Cam had ever seen Holger do anything, Holger guided Cam until his back was against the tree trunk and Holger was leaning over him. Holger's breaths were fast and giggly, his eyes wide. Their faces were inches apart. Less, even.
"Will Cam kiss the Holger?" Holger asked, very quietly for Holger.
Cam said nothing. Holger's eyes were very, very blue this close up, even with the sunglasses, even with the darkness of the evening. His breath was warm and smelled like a boxful of mints. His lips… Cam had never stopped to appreciate how pink and full and nice Holger's lips looked.
Without answering Holger's question, Cam closed his eyes, tilted his head and kissed Holger's nice lips furiously. Holger's hands clutched Cam's waist tightly and Cam felt warm and fluttery in every corner of his body. His hands were pressed awkwardly between their bodies, and he could feel Holger's solid warmth against him. They pulled apart after only a second, but Cam already felt out of breath. Holger's smile was a billion watts of bright white Viking teeth as he smiled down at Cam.
"Wow," Cam breathed. And they kissed again.
Cam dropped his house keys on the kitchen counter and shouted, "Mom! I'm home!"
"I'm in the bath! Don't wake Angelina!" his mom shouted back.
Cam shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over a kitchen chair, then took the stairs two at a time down to his room. He'd taken the streetcar home from the dance, after Holger's father had come to pick Holger up. He'd had to almost tear Holger away from Cam, and Cam had had to promise he'd see Holger every day this weekend.
He wasn't sure if the roiling feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought was excitement or dread.
He flopped down on the couch, flipped open his laptop… and hesitated as he saw that Lee was online.
Before Cam could make a choice, Lee opened a chat window and popped up on Cam's screen. Cam occasionally regretted enabling his friends to open chats with him whenever they liked.
"Hey," Lee greeted. He wore a dreamy sort of smile on his face.
Cam grinned. "How'd it go with Tina?"
Lee blushed a little, and Cam much preferred not being the one blushing. "It was… really nice. While it lasted."
"Ah, that sucks, bro. Having your mom drag you out like that… mucho uncool." Cam grinned. "The second prank was totally wicked, though."
"Yeah, but I didn't do it, either!" Lee protested.
"I know, ese, but it doesn't like hurt your rep to take the credit, eh?"
"It hurts my chances of not getting sent to boarding school in Alaska!"
Cam's eyes widened. "No way, bro. Your mom wouldn't!"
"Oh yes she would." Lee sighed and rested his head in his hands. "At least I got to dance with Tina once before leaving for the frozen north…"
"Don't worry, Lee. Holg and I'll save you, like, totally."
Lee brightened a bit at those words. "Speaking of Holg… Where did you and Holger go just before the prank?"
It was Cam's turn to blush. "Uh, you know, nothing… uh… like, important…"
"Wait… you guys didn't do the second prank, did you?" Lee asked, leaning towards his screen.
"No!" Cam said loudly. Then he hesitated and added, "That would have been like mucho cool if we did though…"
Lee relaxed in his seat and looked at Cam expectantly.
"We just, uh… went outside to like take a breather from all that dancing," Cam said. Then he looked away from the screen and quickly added, "And we maybe sorta kinda like kissed a little bit."
Cam looked back at the screen in time to see Lee look surprised, and he felt an unpleasant sort of panic run cold through his veins. Then Lee relaxed and smiled. "And? How was it?"
Cam balked a little. "It… uh…" He looked away again. "It was nice," he mumbled.
The light in Lee's room flicked off. In the background, his mom snapped, "Lights out!"
"I have to go," Lee said, reaching to turn off his webcam. "But that's awesome, buddy."
Lee's screen went blank. Cam stared at the blank screen for a few moments. He let himself smile, let himself relax. If Lee was okay with this, whatever this was, then it was probably okay.
Then a horrible, horrible thought occurred to Cam. He clicked Lee's icon furiously, but Lee had powered off his computer. No chat window was opening. Cam snapped his laptop shut and scrambled for his phone… except he didn't have a phone, because Holger had smashed his new one to pieces.
Cam threw himself down on his bed, feeling sick. He brought his knees up to his chest and groaned. "Stupido," he growled to himself.
Because he'd probably just made the biggest fool of himself. He'd probably just fallen for Holger, for a guy, kissed a guy and told Lee about it and danced with a guy in front of the whole school… When that guy had probably only been brainwashed into the whole thing.
He woke up the next morning to his little sister poking him in the face with a pen.
"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!"
"ANGELINA!" Cam roared, sitting up and pushing her aside. She laughed and poked him in the ribs with the pen. He groaned and winced. "Angelina, leave me alone."
"Your boyfriend called seven times this morning," she said, giving him a coy smile.
"My w-what?" Cam sputtered.
"Your boyfriend~" she sing-songed, then dashed up the stairs, laughing.
"Don't call him that!" Cam shouted up at her, but she was already gone.
Cam tromped grumpily upstairs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He reached for the phone in the kitchen, dialling Holger's number, thinking about the dance the night before with a small smile… Then he slammed the phone down before Holger could pick up. He remembered with a cold, sick sort of feeling what he'd thought of just before he'd fallen asleep. (Or rather, several hours before he'd fallen asleep, because he'd found it very hard to sleep while thinking about the fact that the first person he'd kissed for real, not for a spin the bottle party in grade five, not for a dare at summer camp, but for real… had probably been brainwashed into the whole thing.)
Slowly, Cam picked up the phone again and dialled Lee's number. Lee knew about brainwashing. Lee knew about all the things Cam had more or less forgotten in the haze that was the day before.
The phone rang once, twice, three times. Then, "Hello?"
"Uh, hey, Mrs. Lee's mom… Is Lee there?"
"Lee is grounded. He is not talking to anybody. Ever! Goodbye."
"Wait! Uh… Can I like talk to him just once before he goes off to like Alaska or wherever forever?"
Lee's mom seemed to hesitate. Then he heard her calling for Lee, and a moment later Lee's voice crackled to life on the other end of the phone. "Cam?"
"Was Holger like brainwashed into asking me to the dance?" Cam asked in a rush.
"What?" Lee sounded groggy. Cam wondered if he'd woken him up—he glanced over at the clock about the stove and realized with a jolt that it was barely six in the morning. Holger had already called seven times?
"I was just, you know, thinking that maybe Holger only like asked me to the dance because of the phones, you know, like you said everyone else did… or…" Cam trailed off.
Lee took a long time to answer. Cam almost wondered if he'd fallen asleep on the other end. Then, "Probably."
Cam's heart sank. Holger had had his phone all along. Holger had asked Cam to the dance because of a stupid brainwashing phone. He hadn't wanted to ask Cam to the dance. He probably hadn't even wanted to bring him flowers or take him to the mall or kiss him wonderfully, stupidly wonderfully against a tree in the cold half-blackness of the school yard.
But Cam hadn't had a phone. Not until he'd decided to go with Brandy to the dance. Everything that had happened with Holger… Cam hadn't been brainwashed into any of that.
But Holger had.
"Oh," was all Cam said. He moved to hang up the phone.
"Wait!" Lee said quickly. "You guys had a good time at the dance, though, right? You, uh… kissed?"
"Uh…"
"Holger didn't have his phone anymore, at the dance. Nobody did. If he was still into you at the dance, after we destroyed all the phones and those weird people took VP Victoria away… then he actually likes you, Cam. He wasn't just brainwashed into it."
It took a minute for that to sink in. Then Cam smiled. He laughed. He whooped.
"Cam?"
"I gotta call Holger, ese!"
He could almost hear Lee smile on the other end of the phone. "Good luck!"
Cam laughed, because maybe he was going to need good luck—he was going to need it, dealing with Holger of all people—but at the moment the roiling in his stomach was definitely excitement, and that was good enough for now.