Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters or things like that. I'm simply pouring my feels out here for the internet to laugh at.

Author's Note: Welcome, welcome to Chapter 1 of ?. I can't say how long this will be, because I don't know how in depth my brain wants to take this. This "fanfic" was inspired by a commission a tumblr friend is getting, and I decided (and was urged) to write my version of how it would all work according to me.

I'd intended only to cover the actual event but headcanon wouldn't allow it. So now this beast has multiple chapters for me to inflict upon the fandom. Arghlblargl.

I am an artist, not a writer. So please excuse poor characterization and writing; I don't claim to be great at it. This is all just how the ending and epilogue would play out in my mind, in my ideal game, with how I've always viewed my own Shepard and her relationship. I know there's a lot of inconsistencies and techno-babble that is probably wrong is so many ways about what I've created here, but this was just meant to focus on the fluff.

Now, enjoy! Or enter at your own risk. :D

An unfamiliar ceiling.

That was what Shepard woke up to. It was blurry at first, an indistinct blotch of grey until her vision cleared. She could make out the individual tiles then, cast in the light pouring in through the tinted windows.

She wasn't on the Normandy. She was in a hospital. That much was obvious. But where..?

Her thought was cut off abruptly as she shifted, feeling the tubes and wires she'd expected to find in her situation, but also that her hand was rather.. pinned to the sheets. It was only then that she noticed who was sitting beside her, chair pulled in close to the bed. He was slumped over, her hand held in his, cheek resting on his arm as he'd fallen asleep.

Shepard had no sense of time, no idea how long she'd been here. Her last memories were clear..

Reapers drifting out of control in space as the wave that had burst forth from the Crucible had silenced them. The soundless explosions as the united fleet destroyed the vulnerable capital ships, bursts of fires that flickered into existance for mere moments before the vacuum of space snuffed them out. And then the pain finally set in, the exhaustion of battle. But she'd gone down gun blazing. That's what counted. She'd pictured them all in her mind.. Anderson, Joker, Liara.. Garrus. All of them, in turn. She'd miss them all, but most of all, Garrus.

As she fell to her knees she blinked back tears threatening to be shed. In all of her service, all of these damned battles, Commander Shepard had always maintained her control. It seemed wrong to lose it now. But here she was, disobeying an order. The most important order of all. The one that was tearing her apart to admit to herself that she'd failed to fulfill.

I'm sorry..

She didn't know how she'd gotten here, but a glance out at the Presidium answered one valuable question. This was Huerta Memorial, where she'd visited Kaidan. She'd been in a room similar to this enough times to identify it. The Presidium was by no means perfect. In the distance the artificial sky was damaged, holes punched in otherwise serene blue and fluffy clouds. Debris was still littered about. There were areas roped off that reminded her of when chunks of Sovereign had rained down years before. But now, as then, it would be repaired. What had Bailey told her that time? That they'd install some bulkhead only to have the Keepers make it seamless? The Citadel would rise again, perfect as always, home to politicians and bureaucrats. She was the reason they still had somewhere to come to bitch at each other. She almost laughed at the thought. To see that there was a Presidium at all was welcome. And to have a sleeping turian, her turian at her side.. she didn't really even have words for that.

Shepard reached out a tentative hand, fingers ghosting over his plates. Tracing his clan tattoos up along his undamaged cheek, up over that damned visor she was convinced he'd surgically grafted onto his skull, and onto his fringe. The touch made him stir, a click of mandibles preceding a short yawn, and then a start as he was aware of just what had made him stir.

"Shepard! You're.." The words didn't need to be said. The way he looked at her said it all. Humans accused turians of being so very alien, their expressions difficult to read compared to those of an asari or salarian. But the emotions whirling in his bright blue eyes were unmistakable. Relief and joy and love. The hand holding her's tightened gently, the other reaching for her face gently, tracing her jaw with one finger. It was if he needed that little bit of touch to verify that he wasn't dreaming.

"Garrus, how long has it been..?" She asked quietly, realizing then she was rather parched. He got up after reluctantly drawing away from her, fetching her a small cup of water from the pitcher left out on one of the tables, bringing it to her carefully. Her hands shook a little, but she managed it, sipping it a few times carefully before outright draining it as she awaited the answer to her question.

"Weeks. They.. had you under for awhile while the treatments took. You were pretty banged up, Shepard. I don't know how you managed it. Anyone else wouldn't have made it.."

Cybernetics, she thought. That was the likely reason. They had always helped her heal faster than normal. That was the reason why she'd even been alive after the Collectors had spaced her.

But it didn't matter. What did..

"What about everyone else? Is anyone..?"

Garrus' mandibles twitched and she recognized it as a turian grin. Pride.

"They're fine, our crew. We've always made a good team. As you humans say, we really brought our A-game to the final push."

Shepard averted her gaze a moment, recalling a memory. "I'm glad I decided to have you covering me.. or else you might have died with everyone else in that blast.."

She felt a hand on her face, guiding it gently to look at him again. "And I should have never allowed you to go rushing in there on your own, insubordination or not. I should've been by your side, like always."

Her lips twitched in a smile, and she sighed. "Well, we survived it Garrus. It's over. We don't have time for regrets and what-ifs. We'll be too busy figuring out what the hell we're going to do with all this free time.."

A low rumbling accompanied his laughter and he leaned forward over the bedside, bringing their foreheads together in that familiar gesture. Shepard was silent for a few moments, utterly still, once again feeling that sting of tears in her eyes. She moved in a swift motion, ignoring the wires and tubes running along her arms to embrace the turian, slipping her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Garrus Vakarian. All I wanted was one more opportunity to say those words to you again."

He pulled back slightly, so he could look her in the eye, that same smile on his face.

"Well, Shepard, I can think of one thing I'd like to do in all this free time.. once you're back on your feet, of course.."