A/N: Just a little thing I wrote about how I think Cloe experienced the first Virus.
LET'S PLAY PRETEND
When she started noticing something was wrong, it was too late. Looking back now, she understood that her parents had been hiding something from her. Turning off the TV when she walked into the room, stopping mid-conversation, telling her that aunt Maggie had been very sick all along even though Cloe had not seen anything confirming that. But she was young and she trusted her parents.
It was only when her best friend Claire moved, that she saw their lies for what they were. Claire and her family had lived across the hall for as long as Cloe could remember. They would walk to school together and play in the park not far from here. The day before she was gone, they had been playing on the swings until Claire had broken out in tears. Cloe was quick to give her a hug and try to console her, but nothing she said, would make her friend feel better.
"You don't understand." Claire sniffed and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. "They say I have to go away. Away from here. Away from them."
"But why?", Cloe asked. She really didn't understand at all. Her parents would never send her away. Didn't Claire's parents love her anymore? That was horrible.
"They say, I'll be safer outside of the city. They don't want me to get sick."
"Sick?" She had caught her parents talking about some sort of illness and sick people, but they always assured her it was only a bad case of the flue. Many of the kids at school had gone too, Cloe had just assumed that they were sick with the flue.
"Yes, don't you know?", Claire asked. "People are getting very sick. Do you remember John?"
John was a boy in their class, but he hadn't been in school in the last two weeks. When they had finally asked their teacher, where he was, she had told them that John had moved away. Cloe nodded. Claire was scaring her. If something serious was happening, her parents would tell her, wouldn't they?
"Mum told me he had to move to a camp. His parents were sick at the hospital, but they... died." Claire whispered the last word as if she was afraid to say it and it made Cloe shiver. They died? Of the flue? "Mum works there so she knows. I'm not lying, Cloe."
She knew Claire wouldn't lie to her or make something horrible like this up just to mess with her, but she was also so sure her parents wouldn't lie to her about something like this. They had lied about Santa Claus and that time Binky, her guinea pig had died, but that was different. They had only lied about Binky, because they didn't want to upset her.
New tears were forming in Claire's eyes. "I'm so scared, Cloe", she sobbed.
"Where are you going?", Cloe asked.
"To live with my grandma in the country. Mum says they are not sick there."
Cloe wrapped her arms around herself. Claire would be gone too, she would be all by herself. And if Claire's mum was scared, then maybe she should be scared too. She worked at the hospital, she had to know if this illness was serious. But her parents... they wouldn't lie to her. She couldn't believe that.
The day after that, Claire was gone. Her parents still lived in the apartment, but she hardly ever saw them. In fact she only saw them one more time, when they were talking to her parents in an urgent whisper. She knew that it was rude to listen to other people's conversation and that her parents would be very disappointed in her, but judging from their expressions and how her mum was waving her arms around, they were having a fight. They never fought with Claire's parents, they even invited them over for a dinner a few times.
"You have to tell her!", Claire's mum hissed.
"That is none of your business", her dad said. "We're not sick yet. We might be immune."
"But what is going to happen to her if you do get sick?", Claire's mum said.
They were talking about her. Cloe ran to her room, picked up Teddy and hid in the closet. It was her safe place, because she always told herself no one would find her in there, if a bad guy broke into the apartment. Pressing Teddy close to her chest, she tried to calm down. She couldn't even be sure that they were talking about her. Why would her parents fight with Claire's about her? That made no sense at all.
Just like her parents, Cloe was happy to pretend that nothing was wrong for the longest time. She accepted her dad's explanation of having the flue when he did get sick and she ignored her mum's tears, when she knew her mum didn't want her to notice. She still pretended everything was just a current problem without long-term effects for her and her family, when her dad went to the hospital.
"You have to be strong now, Cloe", her mum told her one night, when she had tucked her in for the night.
"Dad is going to be okay, right?", she asked.
Her mum stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Of course he will, sweetheart. You don't have to worry about that."
But if she didn't have to worry, why did she have to be strong? Why was her mum crying every night now? Why was there no school although there were still many weeks until summer break? Why did her mum wear that weird mask when she went outside? It was then and there that she let the fear out that she had bottled up and hidden away in order to go along with her parent's pretence. She couldn't stop the tears and she couldn't calm down to tell her mum what was wrong, so it just ended with both of them in bed, her mum holding her close.
"It's okay to be upset, sweetheart", her mum whispered.
"Dad is dying", Cloe whispered back, her voice drowning in sobs, making it impossible for her mum to hear.
"This disease will be cured soon. They are working on a cure already, we just have to be strong and not let it scare us."
Then why didn't they tell her before? But Cloe wanted to believe her, wanted to feel safe again. It was easy to listen to her mum's soothing lies, let her stroke her hair and fall asleep. She dreamt of darkness and death and being alone in the world. She dreamt of Claire, but whenever Cloe thought she was close, Claire would disappear into the darkness.
She woke up to her mum coughing next to her. Seeing as she was still asleep, Cloe placed a hand on her forehead just like her mum had done with her whenever she was sick. Her mum's skin was hot and sweaty. Maybe this was really just the flue. She remembered being sick with the flue last winter and she had been just like that. She tugged at the blanket to cover her mum with it and then went to kitchen, clutching Teddy to her chest.
"When I am sick", she told him. "Mum makes me tea. Mum is sick now, so we are going to make her tea."
She cared for her mum as best as she could for three days, sharing the little food in the apartment evenly between the two of them, bringing her water, telling her stories, but when first the power and then the water went, there wasn't much Cloe could do.
"Mummy", she whispered. It was hopeless, her mum had stopped talking to her after the first day, she was barely conscious most of the time. She knelt in front of her, gazing into her unfocused eyes. "There is no food, mum, no water. I don't know what to do? What is happening?"
She still didn't know what was going on. People were getting sick, but how did that effect the water and the power? Why was no one coming to take care of them?
Her mum coughed and dragged a ragged breath. "Go", she mumbled.
"What? I don't understand?"
"Go! Get out and don't come back!" Her voice was shaky, but the words still hit Cloe hard. Why wouldn't she want her around? Why was she so mean?
"But mum..." She started crying, grabbing her hand, but with the little strength her mum had left, she shook her off.
"No, Clo! Go and don't come back."
Still crying, Cloe pulled her coat on and grabbed Teddy. She couldn't go out alone, nobody was on the streets these days, but with Teddy it might not be so scary.
"I'll go to the store", Cloe told her. "I'll get them to give me some food and I'll come back."
She ignored her mum's protests as she walked away. It was only when she was halfway down the stairs that she realized she had forgotten to take the key with her. How was she going to get back inside? The panic washed over her, making her cry harder. Her mum was going to die now. She herself would die now without a parent to take care of her. After sitting on the stairs, crying her eyes out, she finally decided to go outside, to go look for an adult to help her.
The streets were empty and dirty. The wind tugged at her hair and coat and bore with it the scent of death and disease. She pressed Teddy to her face to keep the stench away and started to walk slowly to the store. She had walked these streets so many times, sometimes she was alone, but it was never like this. She kept looking over her shoulder to see if someone was there, and she pressed herself close to the buildings, feeling safer with the hard concrete at her back. She was about to cross the road and walk past the park, when she heard it. Laughter. She stopped, thinking she had only imagined it. Who would be out right now and play? But there it was again. Children playing and laughing. Her curiosity got the better of her and she went to the park instead. Maybe there were adults with them, maybe they could help her get some food and open the door to the apartment.
When she reached the playground, she thought for a moment that Claire had come back. It wasn't Claire though. It was a different girl with light brown hair playing on the swings, on the other swing was a boy and he was the one making most of the noise. At the bottom of the slide sat an older girl with flaming red hair. Not an adult, but maybe old enough to help her.