Did You Forget?
I loved him, I was sure about it. He made me feel amazing, but I hadn't heard from him in two months. He used to call me twice a day, everyday. Once in the morning, before I went to school, and once in the night, before I fell asleep. He'd call me no matter what, even if he was performing, he would wait until he got a break and would call me. Then all of a sudden it stopped completely. I had tried to call him I got some random automated message every time.
I knew going out with him would be hard but I never thought it would end like this, hell, I didn't think it would end at all. I thought we would stay together forever. I never took into consideration the amount of people that get divorced and have failed relationships. It was just me and him. He was all I ever wanted, he made me feel happy. I've always believed that happiness wasn't real. Like true happiness could never be felt, that someone could be happy for a few seconds but not truly happy because there would always be pain underneath. I never wanted to pursue happiness because I thought it was a myth, but with him, I felt happy. I forgot everything when I was around him. I knew I'd found the one.
Our relationship was like one giant cliché. The whole point in a cliché though, is that it's used often. All of the relationship clichés you can think of, you could use referring to us. He made me weak at the knees. He made me melt. To me, he was the only one that mattered. Our bodies fit together perfectly. I could go on for hours.
I knew going into a relationship with him that he would go on tours. He was on a three month tour. We made promises to keep in contact but it fell apart, he just disappeared. He'd probably forgotten about me by now. He probably had some new girlfriend that was ten times prettier than me. Thinking about that was the worst pain ever. It was excruciating. It made me sick.
I could still feel his kiss on my lips. The way he caressed mine with his, He was an incredible kisser. He always left me wanting more, which he didn't hesitate to give. He always knew when to stop before things got too far. His kisses always left a sparkle in my eye.
I was so sore. Everyone around me could tell that there was something wrong due to the fact that I would only leave my room for school and Hot Tunes. My music echoed how hurt I was, it was seriously depressing stuff. If he ever remembered that I exist, I was going to let him hear them before I would shout the odds at him. The amount of times I felt like burning everything I had to do with him were uncountable, but I just couldn't do it. His cheeky grin always stopped me. So now everything was in a shoebox at the bottom of my closet. Everything except for the thing I could never take off, the ring he had given me. No, it wasn't an engagement ring or a promise ring, just something to signify our relationship. I loved it and couldn't work up the courage to take it off.
I remembered everything that had happened to us. My favourite memory was when he had told me he loved me. We were just having a carefree day.
"You cheated!" I accused.
"No I didn't." he protested.
"You did too and you know it."
"Ok, maybe I did slightly." I'd caught him out whilst we were playing a board game because it was raining outside and there was absolutely nothing on the TV.
"So that means that I win. I own you." I did a victory dance.
"I don't deny that. I love you." He said staring wistfully at me.
"What?" I was taken aback by what he had said.
"I love you. I've been meaning to tell you but I never knew when to say it. I don't mid if you don't love me just yet, I needed to tell you my feelings."
"But I do love you too." I hadn't needed to think about it because I just knew. I hadn't thought about it before, but as soon as he said it to me, it hit me.
"You do?"
"Like duh, of course I do." He stared at me in awe before giving me the most amazing kiss.
That was one of the best days of my life. It spiralled down after that, first he had to leave then he didn't contact me. It seemed to be one of my last days of happiness the day he told me that.
I was suddenly taken from my thoughts by my algebra teacher.
"Miss Torres?"
"Hmmm?"
"Care to answer the question? Or were you too busy daydreaming?"
"Sorry sir, it won't happen again."
Only our friends knew about our relationship, if anyone found out I would be the most hated girl in America. I didn't really care though. No one knew the real him, they just knew the guy that was constantly in the public eye. No one knew how sweet he was. Like when he would get up extra early to come over to my house to wake me up with a kiss. Of after I had first gotten a double bed he would lie on top of the covers next to me and wrap his arm around my waist. If I was having a bad day he would hold me and whisper things into my hair which made me feel much better. He would grin at me cheekily whenever he was thinking of something. No one knew that side of him, he used to be an arrogant popstar, and no one could get past that. And he gave the best hugs. He would squeeze the life out of me.
I thought we would be together forever. I thought that after a while he would propose, I would say yes and we would live a full life together, with two or three children. That was my dream life, but dreams never come true.
As I walked home I could see my house from a distance and I could see that there was someone sitting on the steps up to my front door. I got closer and knew exactly who I was. So he did remember me, but why was he here? Did he want to tell me in person just to make sure I got the message? I got closer to him and he grinned sheepishly at me.
"What do you want?" I asked coldly.
"To see my gorgeous girlfriend."
"So, I'm still your girlfriend them, am I? Funny, I thought that people that are in a relationship are supposed to keep in contact."
"I'm seriously sorry Mitch, but it wasn't my fault. I dropped my phone in the toilet, and you know how unorganised I am, I didn't have another copy of your number."
"That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. You could have gotten it off Caitlyn or you could have come back here if you were that desperate to see me. I think that you're just trying to get me back into your life because you're bored now that the tour's over."
"You know that's not true." He said slightly raising his voice.
"Do I really? Then why the hell did you not try to get back in contact?" I yelled.
"You're wrong. I did try, I tried so hard. I admit that I didn't think of Caitlyn, but I did try to get off the tour to come back here, but you know why it didn't work? My manager told me I couldn't, so I didn't. Little did I know that he was doing everything he could to stop me getting back in contact with you because he doesn't approve of our relationship. I don't care about him though. Did you not watch any of the performances of ours that were on the TV?"
"Why the hell would I? If I'd have seen you I would have cried my eyes out."
"You're not the only one who was hit hard by this. I haven't had any sleep because all I could think of was you."
"Sleep, you haven't been sleep? Wow, I feel so sorry for you not being able to sleep. That really puts things in perspective for me. Want to know what little things have happened to me? I've been crying myself to sleep; I have hidden all of our stuff at the bottom of my closet, all except for this ring because that would mean that it's really over." I said thrusting my hand into his face. "And you know what? I think I would be able to take it off right now."
"Don't, please. Why do you think we're over, just because of communication difficulties?"
"I thought that you were ignoring me and that you had forgotten about me." He moved closer to me.
"How could I forget about you? I love you."
"Really? You keep saying that and I'm beginning to not believe you." I could feel his breath on my face.
"How can you say that? You know I don't say things that I don't mean." I couldn't help but feel like he was saying something about me. How could he say that?
"What was that?" I folded my arms defensively over my chest.
"I didn't mean that."
"Yes, you did. I knew you would bring that up someday. I told you after Final Jam that I was only trying to fit in. I'm really ashamed of myself for doing it and you know that, yet here you are, rubbing it in my face."
"Sorry."
"Don't say sorry when you don't mean it."
"But I do Mitchie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dropping my phone down the toilet. I'm sorry for not getting in contact after that. I'm sorry fir not trying as hard as I could. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. And I'm sorry for brining up things you never wanted to talk about. I never wanted to hurt you. I hate myself for putting you through all this. I realise that you hate me, and you're probably beginning to get over me, and if I walked back into your life would be bad for you. I need you though, and I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much. I need you Mitchie." I suddenly felt a flurry of emotions. I love him too, but how could I know that something like this wouldn't happen again. I did need him too, but I just couldn't tell if I wanted him back in my life. Something was telling me to walk away.
"Why did you really come back Shane? And don't tell me it's because you wanted to see me because that couldn't have been the only reason."
"I wanted to see you, your beautiful face and to do this." He wrapped his arm around me waist, pulled me in even closer than I already was and kissed me. I didn't try to stop him; I didn't want to stop him. I could still feel that same old tingle that I felt whenever we kissed. If I wasn't already, I would have been breathless. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I couldn't stop myself, I needed more of him, he was like my drug, and I was addicted. I couldn't help myself around him; I always somehow gave into his charm. He knew it; he knew exactly how to get me back into his clutches. His tongue was pressing against my closed lips. No matter how hard I tried to stop myself from opening them, my lips fell open, allowing his tongue to enter my mouth. I felt explore the area it used to be so accustomed to all those months ago. I came back to my senses.
"Shane, get of me!" I screamed at him after breaking away.
"No, I can't let you go."
"Well you're going to have to if you want to keep your man-hood." I said casting a glance down the way.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Oh yeah, want to bet?"
"No, not with the state of mind you're in at the moment."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"You seem quite hostile; I didn't know that you're temperamental."
"I'm not." I protested.
"Oh yeah, then explain to me why a few minutes ago you were kissing me then a short while later you're threatening to kick me in the balls?"
"I'm not temperamental; I just can't work out my own feelings with you kissing me like that." I was still pressed up against him.
"That's the whole point."
"Shut up for a few seconds will you?" could I go back into what we had before? It was amazing but did I still like him like that? Yes, I definitely did, there was no denying it. All the logic in my head was telling me that I would better without him, but I just wouldn't be able to do that. What was that quote from A Midsummer Night's Dream? "The course of true love never did run smooth." Old Shakespeare was right there. I knew what I would decide in the end. No matter what my head was telling me.
"Mitchie do you forgive me?"
"I-I-I-I-" I stuttered. He pulled me in for another kiss which left me punch-drunk.
"Well, do you?"
"Yes."
I though I decided it when I was as I like to call 'under the influence', I didn't regret it one bit.
Inspired by Don't Forget by Demi Lovato