A/N: It's been a year since I wrote this, so my writing is a bit better now. The 'we' mentioned is my friend and I. She gave me the idea for this fic, as well as the ideas for my other two AF fanfics. I own nothing.

The Many Uses of Your Average Contact Lens

{This an insert into the scene when Holly and Artemis are being ferried to their death by trolls from The Opal Deception. We've added Root into it for dramatic effect}

Opal was a genius. When she saw Artemis Fowl, she saw a rich, criminal mastermind. But she was missing one important detail. (More on that later.) Opal knew it would be a simple matter to mesmerize him. She brought Artemis into an empty room in the shuttle.

Using the last bit of her magic, Opal began: "You love me…"

"I love you," Artemis repeated dryly.

"You think I'm pretty."

"Of course I do, beautiful."

"Good," said Opal. "Now, let's drive those two brats to their deaths."

She led him toward the room Holly and Root were in. Now that they were alone, she freely insulted her two remaining prisoners. "Ugh! I just want to hurl every time I think of that filthy underpaid police officer Holly. I can't imagine what motivated the LEP to hire her," Opal said in a mocking tone.

Artemis flinched. Luckily Opal was too busy ranting to notice.

"And I can't forget about Root, that sorry excuse for a fairy with anger management issues."

The verbal abuse continued, pushing Artemis was almost to his breaking point by the time they reached the room. "Alright," Opal said to Holly and Root, "Next stop: your death. Artemis and I will be happily watching you get torn apart."

"Are you sure about that?" Artemis asked.

"Wow. I've never had a Mud person ask a question like that will they were under mesmer."

"What if I told you I wasn't under mesmer?"

"Well, you are, I did it myself!" Opal snapped.

"But I'm not," Artemis stated evenly.

"Then prove it!" Opal couldn't believe this was happening.

Artemis did something most teenagers didn't do when they were trying prove they were in control of their mind. But then again, Artemis wasn't a normal teen. He started kissing Holly.

At first, Holly froze, then slowly relaxed and closed her eyes.

"Oh, gods. She's actually enjoying it," Root and Opal said in sync, both in shock. Root turned red, then purple, then lost color completely in his face, and finally fainted. Opal opened and closed her mouth several times, as if she was trying to say something but couldn't. She recovered quickly, though, as Artemis and Holly broke apart.

"Everyone back in their seats," Opal was in an outrage. "Everyone! Now! We will continue our journey to your death, which I will watch happily from a safe distance!"

She turned and left the room angrily.

"Why...did you...do...that?" Holly asked Artemis angrily, who still couldn't believe he had done that. Root was just coming to.

"You know why. To prove I wasn't under mesmer." As he was saying this, Artemis pulled two mirrored contact lenses from his eyes.

"You like me, don't you?" Holly pressed him.

"No, I don't."

"Then why are you turning red?"

Why are you turning red?"

They stared at each other in embarrassment.

Root broke the awkward silence.

"That didn't just happen, do it? Please tell me it didn't."

"I wish," said Holly, looking away.

Then they arrived at their destination.