Warning: shonen-ai, mpreg, character death, semi-au

Disclaimer: Don't own, so you can't sue.

A/N: Just remembered promise made to write this fic when looking through past fic.

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"Sit, Aoshi-sama, we will have tea."

"How are you, Aoshi-sama?"

"Will you return soon?"

"Aishiteru."

It's been three days. I can't take this any longer. Meditation isn't working. All I see when I close my eyes are those small calloused hands, those large lavender eyes and soft pink lips. I can hear his soft voice whispering to me on the current of the night wind. I can feel his gasps against my skin. I can feel him surrounding me, his warm mouth on mine and around my – no, I will not go there. I must not. This separation was his idea. I will not be made to look weak.

I need him.

I need his hands and his smile. I need his laugh and his caress. I need his strength and insecurity. I need all the things that make me shake my head in frustration, but smile at the same time. He told me that he needed time to think about things. I don't know what things, but I need to see him.


--paragraph/story/time break--

It's been 3 months. He came to visit. He looks different. During his visit, we did not make love. I didn't care, but it made me think that something was wrong. He seems bigger and smaller at the same time if possible. His walk had changed as has his routine. Something has occurred. I was unaware. I am Oniwabanshu. I will not be kept unaware.

I fear for him.

He seems slower, more easily tired and filled with pain. He would not spar, but that is usual for him. It is the fact that he said no outright instead of his normal hesitance. It is worrying. He had this strange look in his eyes, whenever he looked to me.


--paragraph/story/time break--

He has written me a letter. He is ill. It has been 3 months since his visit. This illness is long and detrimental if he cannot make the visit. I have never known him to be ill. Our lifestyle does not lend itself to illness unless it is something that is more dangerous than an ordinary sickness.

I am suspicious and worried.

He does not wish for me to visit. He knows me well for his letter does not say that I need not come. If he had, I would be there. It says that he wishes for me to stay here in Tokyo and await his visit in a four months time. I find myself somewhat chastised by his command, for that is what it is. Though he is more polite than should be humanly possible, his sweet words only hide the steel beneath.


--paragraph/story/time break--

It has been another three months. In that time, he has sent many letters – letters to which I have written many replies. Many were simply frivolous notes speaking of his affections for me. Others asked about the Oniwabanshu and Tokyo or inform me of what has gone on at the small dojo and in the small village they reside in.

He may be dying.

In all of his letters, he never mentioned the illness that has kept him away for months on end. I have only found that his illness may be life threatening from that girl. She sent me a letter saying that he was very ill and would not be able to write any more letters after his last which came soon after hers. This illness of his does not match any that I have researched. He may be dying of something unknown.


--paragraph/story/time break--

It has been 2 months since I received the letter telling me of his death. I went to the funeral and was slightly surprised at the many people he had affected in his short life. He would most likely have been embarrassed at the show of emotion from everyone there. He always thought too little of himself.

I hate him.

He was foolish not to tell me of his illness as it got worse. I would have been by his side in an instant. His lack of faith in me shows that our affections were poorly matched indeed. Maybe I am overreacting to the situation, but one would expect such from someone who has lost their lover. Maybe in his foolishness, he thought that I would not wish to see him ill. The fool. Did he not know that I loved him?


--paragraph/story/time break--

The girl is coming to visit and she says in her letter that she is bringing something important to me. What that could be, I have no idea. She says that he wanted me to understand. She says that I am lucky because what she is bringing is a piece of him that she and the others will never have. She says that she's almost jealous, but realizes that she and the others had him longer and more often.

I miss him.

She left 3 days before the letter arrived so she should be here in about two days. She has, unfortunately, piqued my interest. This special thing that she is delivering seems to amuse and upset her for reasons other than the fact it is something of his and mine. I don't understand her reasons; however I am excited and wary.


--paragraph/story/time break--

She has been and gone it seems, leaving a bundle and a letter from him. I cared not for the bundle that I was not allowed to see. The letter was my primary concern. It read:

Aoshi-sama,

This one knows that you are most displeased with him. It was not this one's intention to die like this. It was not this one's intention to leave this world so soon, before telling you of his undying love for you. There is a gift for you that comes with this letter. I hope that one day you will forgive this one. This one hopes that you will remember the good times more than the bad. This one hopes that you will remember the things that you loved about him. This one hopes that one day we will share tea together again Aoshi-sama. Until, then, Aishiteru Aoshi.

Himura Kenshin

I ran to my fellow Oniwabanshu who were carefully watching a moving bundle. When I entered the room, they stopped and looked to me. I made my way forward in a most unseemly way and knelt in front of the bundle. There, wrapped in a blue blanket was a small girl with auburn hair and ocean blue eyes. She had been fussing before I entered, but upon seeing me she stopped. We stared at each other. One of them, I'm not sure who, asks what I will name her. I think on that. She is something of his and mine. I want something that will embody both of us. I think back to all the times he and I shared. I picked her up and walked out of the room, whispering her name.


--paragraph/story/time break--

It has been a week. He was burned and his ashes were scattered to the winds. He is still travelling. I took our daughter to his memorial in the graveyard next to the grave of his wife.

"I have decided on a name. I think that you will like it. First I want to say that no matter what you thought, I would have been happy to be by your side during your pregnancy. I would have married you as well seeing as it would have been my duty as the one who got you pregnant. I would have married you anyway. I have decided to name her something that meant a lot to both of us, Kenshin. I want to name her –"

"Sakura…"

He agrees with me. She smiles up at me. She does, too.