By the end of this fic, only 3 characters will remain. Place your bets and read on.
It's another day down at the trailer park. Inside the Kankers' trailer, the sisters are busy chasing each other around to see the contents of a magazine that they keep snatching from each other. After chasing Lee around the house, Marie takes it from her in their room.
"You're too slow, Lee!" Marie gloats as she dodges Lee's arms and slides downstairs.
"Get back here!" Lee shouts as she chases Marie. But May tries to get it from her first at the bottom.
"Come on, let me see!" begs May, holding onto one side.
"Take a hike, May." rebuffs Marie. "You got chores to do."
"That's right!" Lee says as she drops an oversized garbage bag onto May. "The trash has your name all over it, so throw it out, missy."
Lee and Marie laugh at May, who grumbles as she takes the garbage outside towards a nearby dumpster. But from inside the dumpster, something watches...
"It's always 'May do this, May do that." May complains as she approaches the dumpster. "When will I get a break?"
The moment May opens the dumpster, a large shadow looms over her. Her hair stands up on end like static, and her eyes bug out in fear...
Inside the trailer, Lee and Marie hear May's "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" They rush to the door, and May dives inside before they open it, knocking them to the ground. Lee gets up.
"What's goin on, May?" she asks.
"Th- Th-There was a...B-B-BIG... BIG MONSTER... OUTSIDE!!!" May tried to explain, almost crying. Her sisters stare, and Marie tries to hold a laugh.
"He! I bet it's that fake epilepsy again!" Marie says to Lee, who picks up May and shakes her like a rag doll.
"That's just ridiculous, May." Lee scolds as she shakes May. "You must've been watchin too many movies because there's absolutely NO such thing as-"
They hear a loud CRASH right behind them. They turn to see a big, gaping hole where their door used to be...
"What the heck....." wonders Lee in confusion. She turns to Marie and May, both shivering in fear as they look upwards.
"L-L-L-Lee..." Marie points up... Lee looks at the ceiling... and stares at a big, gray, 4-armed monster with horns. It hangs from the ceiling, staring at the Kankers intimidatingly. Then... it ROARS!!!!!
"RUUUUUN!!!" Lee screams. In a split second, the Kankers slip into their jackets and are outside running for their lives. The monster ROARS and gives chase as the girls reach a manhole cover.
"Quick, it's coming!" Marie shrieks in terror. Lee grabs May and uses her buck-teeth to pry the manhole open. Marie jumps down, followed by Lee and May. They run through the sewers, but the monster also drops in and quickly catches up.
"DON'T LOOK BACK, GIRLS!!!" Lee yells just before the monster reaches out and grabs her. "AAAAH-"
"LEE!!! LEEEEEEEE!!!" screams May.
"GO ON WITHOUT ME!!! GO WARN EVERYONE!!!" Lee screams, and her eyes bug out as the monster ROARS and takes her away.
"LEE, NOOO!!!" May screams.
"YOU HEARD HER, COME ON!" Marie takes May to continue their escape through the sewers.
In the cul-de-sac, the kids are seated in front of a large wooden stage. Lone Jonny runs around in a panicky search for Plank.
"Have you seen Plank?" he asks Nazz, who nods. "Any signs of Plank?" he asks to Rolf, but he nods too. "Have any of you 2 seen Plank?" he asks Sarah and Jimmy.
Sarah grabs Jonny by the mouth. "Shut it, will ya?" she demands and throws him aside. "The show's starting." Jonny just runs off, yelling Plank's name.
The stage curtains open to reveal Eddy, who's wearing black clothes and a top hat. A large, covered cage stands behind him.
"Welcome, spectators!" He begins. "Behind me is a creature so fearsome and terrible that it's name sends chills down the spines of those who say it!"
"Does it hail from Transylvania?" asks Rolf.
"I can't bear how hideous it may look." says Jimmy.
"Never fear, folks!" Eddy announces. "From the confines of this cage, it can never touch you! Now, I present to you..." he throws off the cover. "THE RAVENOUS BEHEMOTH!!!"
Everyone stares, then Eddy realizes the cage is empty. He freaks out.
"Wow, the Invisible Behemoth!" Kevin sarcastically applauds and claps. "Here I am clappin my invisible hands!"
"Um..." Eddy reaches and pulls Double-D onstage. "Stall em, sockhead. I'll be right back." He runs to Ed's house while Double-D stares at the audience.
"Uh yeah, you see..." Double-D tries to explain. "The behemoth escaped from its cage and-" he is struck by a tomato.
"Boo, get off the stage dork!" Kevin shouts as Rolf provides him another tomato. The rest arm themselves, too.
"This is a waste of time." Nazz says.
While the kids begin bombarding Double-D with tomatoes, Eddy and Ed search through Ed's room.
"Jeez Ed, where'd you put your stupid monster costume?" Eddy asks irately.
"It was here, Eddy. Honest!" responds Ed, who suddenly opens a new comic. "Maybe the Space Demon from Andromeda has taken it to provide nest material."
"Oh man, we gotta hurry." Eddy worries. "Who knows how long Double-D can hold the kids off..." He hears a long CRASH sound outside. "No, no, no..."
He leaps outside, only to find the stage in ruins and the kids marching away, with Kevin carrying the money jar. Double-D climbs out of the stage's remains.
"Oh, my aching head." He utters.
"Double-D, quick!" Eddy helps him up. "We can rebuild the stage! All we gotta-"
"Hold it, mister." Double-D interupts. "It took countless painstaken hours to construct this stage, and mother's curtains are ripped. I'm in such deep trouble."
"Who cares?" Eddy scoffs. "We gotta get those kids back here and find Ed's costume. We made too much money to screw up now."
"Maybe the kids are using the money to fund for defenses against the Space Demon!" Ed theorizes from his comic.
"Drop the book and help find that monster suit." Eddy commands. "The show must go on, guys!" With that, Eddy drags his fellow Eds into Ed's house to search for his costume.
By sunset, Marie and May knock over a manhole cover and surface in the middle of the cul-de-sac.
"Okay, I think we lost him." Marie says in relief, referring to the monster.
"We gotta warn the others!" May worries.
"Right." Marie agrees, and they make a beeline towards Ed's house. Inside, Double-D watches in horror as Ed and Eddy throw numerous items all over the place in their search for Ed's costume.
"Guys, control yourselves!" Double-D shouts after catching a lamp thrown by Eddy. "Have you gone feral?"
"Keep lookin!" Eddy commands. The doorbell rings, so Double-D opens it. It's May and Marie.
"KANKERS!!!" the Eds scream and run around in panic. "WAIT!!!" the sisters say, and the Eds freeze in confusion.
"We didn't come for kisses!" Marie begins, and shivers. "We... were... attacked... and it took Lee."
"What took Lee?" asks Double-D.
"A monster." Marie answers, clutching Double-D in fear. "You gotta help us, please honeybun!"
"A MONSTER!!?" Ed checks his comic. "IT'S THE SPACE DEMON FROM ANDROMEDA!!!" He runs downstairs.
"A monster? Wait." Double-D takes out a pen and notepad. "Describe it." May describes:
"A big, scaly gray monster... with 4 arms and a tail... and lots of teeth... and horns on it's head." she finishes. Double-D analyzes the data.
"We could have a match!" Double-D says. "I believe that this 'monster' is no more than Ed's-" Ed grabs Double-D, Marie, and May.
"We must prepare for a possible apocalypse!" Ed says as he takes them downstairs. Eddy figures out what's going on.
"A monster on the loose, eh!?" Eddy smirks. "He, he, he! I'm so taking advantage of this!" Then Ed takes him downstairs.
At the park, the kids are hanging out. Sarah and Jimmy play in the sandbox while Kevin, Rolf and Nazz dance to music on a boombox.
"Turn it up, Kev!" Nazz says.
"What, Nazz?" Kevin asks, unable to hear through the loud music.
"Turn it UP!" Nazz shouts.
"Is 'turn it up' a dance move?" Rolf asks, then grabs Kevin. "Teach Rolf!"
Jimmy shows Sarah a sand copy of his teddy bear. "I call it Sandy Yum Yum!"
"That's awesome, Jimmy!" Sarah applauds. "But check this out!" She shows a sand sculpture of Eddy trapped in the monster's cage, mocking his failed scam. They laugh. But while the kids play, the monster watches from the woods behind the park, picking out it's next victim. Jonny goes up to the kids again.
"Guys, I can't find Plank anywhere." He says. "Please help me!"
"Dude, just get another piece of wood and draw a face." Kevin suggests. Jonny's face reddens with anger.
"YOU'RE NO HELP AT ALL!!!" he yells. He storms off, but is quickly pinned down by the monster in front of everyone. "WAH, DON'T EAT ME!" he yelps, covering his face.
The monster makes a closer look at Jonny, then lets him go. It turns and ROARS at the rest. Jimmy and Nazz scream first, then they all run. The monster chases them, knocking over everything in its path. Kevin and Rolf look back at the monster, realizing it's familiar appearance. Halfway to the exit, Jimmy trips and falls.
"SARAH!!!" He cries. Sarah helps him up, then looks at the advancing monster.
"HEY, THAT'S NO MONSTER, IT'S-" Sarah is interrupted when Nazz pushes her ahead, and Jimmy is trampled by Kevin and Rolf. Before Jimmy can recover, the monster grabs him in in it's jaws. Jimmy makes a final scream as he slurped up like a noodle. The rest make it out of the park and stop, except Nazz who keeps running in terror until finally deciding to hide in a trash can. Sarah, Kevin and Rolf look back, but the monster is gone, the park ruined in its wake.
Sarah is clearly angry. "Errrrrr, ED IS SO GOING DOWN!!!" She storms off.
"Okay, Rolf." Kevin starts. "We both know that bone-headed dork is up to his sick games again. We gotta stop him before he does any more damage, but first we gotta arm ourselves and plan ahead."
"Rolf has a few armaments himself!" Rolf says, then they huddle to make plans.
It is nighttime now. Back at Ed's house, Eddy sticks a sign in front of Ed's window. It says: MONSTER SHELTER !!! 75 CENTS!!! Double-D protests.
"Come now, Eddy. Sure somebody is wreaking havoc in Ed's costume, but don't you think this is a little extreme?"
"Look at this way, Double-D!" Eddy says into Double-D's ear. "We get to scam Kankers, and I've tripled our normal prices just for that!"
"Scamming customers by exploiting their fear?" Double-D lashes. "That's just inhumane, even for Kankers!"
"Well I think it's a bonanza!" Eddy responds as they slip back into Ed's room, the shelter. Ed is barricading the doors with boards, while Eddy approaches May and Marie and holds his money jar to them. "75 cents, mi ladies!"
May quickly pays up to ensure her safety, but Marie glares at Eddy in disgust before May takes her money and pays for her. Eddy stares and drools at the Kankers' cash!
"If the Space Demon isn't stopped, it will drive the human race to extinction!" Ed reads from his comic. "Prepare, I must." He then dives into his closet & closes it. Then Kevin and Rolf enter through the wndow, armed with a crowbar and shovel respectively.
"Welcome to our monster shelter! Only 75 cents!" welcomes Eddy.
"Not interested." Kevin responds. "Where's Ed?"
"Look, if you think Ed's terrorizing everybody, he's innocent." Double-D says defensively.
"Rolf sees through your illusionary words." Rolf says. "When we find the Scifi-minded Ed boy, he is good as dead."
"DON'T HURT HIM!" May pleas. Kevin turns to her.
"You might as well tell us now, May." he says. "Cuz you can't protect your 'boyfriend' forever."
A distant ROAR is heard outside. "The beast howls!" Rolf exclaims, and he and Kevin squeeze through the window and rush away. As Double-D sighs in relief, Ed jumps out of his closet, wearing hockey pad armor, a viking helmet, a soda can belt, and a custom-made Chunky Puff SMG. He makes a heroic pose. He reads his comic.
"Never fear, Master Chief is here!" Ed shouts. Eddy laughs hysterically.
"Master Chief! Man he's good!" Eddy mutters while laughing. Ed jumps outside.
"Ed, are you crazy?" Double-D asks from the window. "Kevin and Rolf are after you, not to mention whoever's in your suit."
Eddy covers Double-D's mouth. "Ignore him. Just go get that monster, 'Master Chief'!"
"Space Demon from Andromeda, HERE I COME!!!" Ed announces and sets out while Eddy and May cheer.
"Ain't he dreamy?" May asks to Double-D.
Out in the streets, Kevin and Rolf search for Ed. Kevin climbs atop a pole to get a better view, then drops down to see Rolf.
"Rolf, we can cover more ground by splitting up." Kevin says, noticing a chicken in Rolf's hands. "What's the chicken for?"
"Oh, it's a decoy!" Rolf answers. Then they split up to cover more ground. Meanwhile, Ed is hunting for the monster near the candy shop, SMG at the ready. He hears something and turns; just some crows cawing on a fence.
"Phew." Ed sighs, then reads his comic. "I must constantly be on guard, and never let down for a second." But he drops his gaurd when he sees a chicken up ahead. "CHICKEN!"
Ed runs up, but the chicken is pulled by a string. The string goes all the way into the lane, where Rolf is pulling it to lure Ed closer. Unsuspecting Ed comes closer and closer as he chases the chicken.
"Ed boy was never able to resist the humble chicken!" He says with a grin. He is poked on the shoulder from behind, then he turns- and sees the monster right in front of him. Ed hears Rolf's scream, but by the time he reaches the lane, Rolf has already been swallowed, his sneakers on the ground.
Ed now stares face-to-face with the monster. And the monster ROARS.
End of Part 1!!!
Part 2 will feature the Ed vs. Monster fight, Sarah's assault, a wild chase, more characters getting eaten (including one of the Eds and another Kanker), and the grand finale. Who will survive? Stay tuned! And don't forget to review.