Overcoming Fears

We lie in bed, our hands clasped together. I want to pull her close to me, to wrap my arms around her, but she has seemed distant lately. The war has taken a toll on both of us, but while my mind and soul seem to cling to her more than ever, Tris seems to be pulling away. I've tried to give her space, to make sure she doesn't feel overwhelmed. It doesn't appear to have helped. I almost lost her before, and now she seems to be slipping away from me despite my efforts.

"Tobias," she says carefully, sitting up and pulling her hand away from me. Her eyes are hard, and it feels like a blow to my chest. Her face is void of emotion, and there's no way for me to guess what she plans on saying next.

"What?" I ask, sitting up as well. I am tempted to delay this conversation by reaching over and drawing her into my lap, by kissing her so forcefully that I would be able to convey what I wasn't able to put into words. Talking isn't always my strong suit.

She pulls her legs up and wraps her arms around them. "You can always be honest with me, you know?" There is just a tiny waver in her voice, so faint that I might not have caught it if I didn't know her so well. "Even if you think it's going to hurt me."

I stare at her, totally confused. "Okay," I answer. I rack my brain, wondering what she could be hinting at.

Tris glares at me. My stomach clenches. "If you're tired of me, just break up with me already," she snaps. "I don't know why you're leaving me hanging like this."

"Tris," I say, surprised. I reach out for her hand, but she twists away from me and rolls off the bed. She stands up straight and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Don't," she says. "Just don't."

"Don't what?" I demand, getting to my feet as well. Frustration starts to surface, but I know better than take the bait. Now is not the time to lose my temper.

"Don't pretend that you still like me," she replies. "I don't know why you're bothering."

"I'm not pretending," I insist. "Tris, you almost died. There's a lot of things I'm not sure of lately, but the fact that I love you isn't one of them."

"You don't act like it lately," Tris said, a cold look still on her face. "You hardly even touch me, and you talk to me like you'd talk to any stranger on the street. I don't know what's been going on with you anymore, because you don't tell me."

I am silent for a moment, trying to decide between various responses. "I'm sorry," I finally say. "I didn't want to push you. You seemed so far away, and I thought giving you some space was the best thing to do."

"I didn't want space," Tris says, starting to look vulnerable. "I wanted you to be here. Right here, where I needed you."

"I'm sorry," I say again. "I was wrong." I walk around the bed and hold my arms out to her. She keeps her arms crossed for several long seconds, before finally closing the space between us and slipping her arms around my middle. She doesn't cry, though she seems to deflate a little. I can practically feel the relief radiating from her. I can't believe she actually thought I didn't want her anymore.

She straightens up, and I bend down to kiss her. Her lips part against mine, and I slide my tongue into her mouth as I trail my hands down her arms and rest them on her hips. She presses against me, deepening the kiss. She throws her arms around my neck and twists her fingers in my hair. "Tobias," she sighs, and I'm so thrilled to be really touching her for the first time in weeks.

Tris pulls away from me again, and takes a step back. She tucks a strand of short, blonde hair behind her ear and though she has extracted herself from my grasp, she doesn't look angry or upset anymore. "Tobias," she repeats, crossing her arms again. This time, she looks nervous.

"Tris?"

"Remember, after the fear landscapes, when you said… that if I still wanted you someday…" She twists her hands around, and I'm amused to see that her face is red. However, I can't deny that this topic makes me as nervous as it does her.

I clear my throat. "Someday is today?" Nerves aren't the only thing I'm feeling. I never wanted to make Tris uncomfortable, never wanted her to think that sex was all I wanted. But I can't lie and say that I didn't want this.

Tris nods, and that was all I needed. In half a second, she is in my arms again and I crush my lips against hers. We fall onto the bed, and in no time at all, she has pulled my shirt off and I am intent on returning the favor. We are quickly approaching the line that we've never crossed before. I pull away, just barely, to look her in the eye and ask, "You're positive about this?"

I kiss her neck, moving my lips lightly across her skin, while I wait for her to respond. "I'm absolutely positive," Tris breathes, and enforces her point by wrapping her leg around my waist. She put her hands on either side of my face, and drags my mouth back to hers. These actions are what assure me that she is sure, that she really does want me.

"You can tell me if you want me to stop," I mumble through our kiss.

"I won't," she whispers, and she reaches for my belt.

. . .

I hold her, closer than I've held her in such a long time. She rests her head on my chest. Her hair smells sweet, like a medley of fruit. My arms tighten around her, and she glances up at me. "What are you thinking about?" she askes.

"You, of course," I reply. How could anything else be on my mind?

She smiles faintly. "What about me?"

She said she wanted me to talk to her, to tell her whatever was going through my mind. "I was thinking that I want to marry you, but I should probably wait a while to propose."

Tris is no longer smiling. "You want me that much?"

"I told you," I say, "that I would be your family now. That I love you. How can you still be questioning why I'd want to be with you?"

"I don't understand," Tris says finally. "But as long as you love me, I guess it doesn't matter. As long as I love you, too."

I kiss the top of her head. "I will always love you," I promise. "And now that you're not afraid of me anymore, I have nothing to worry about."

"The real question is, are you still afraid of me?"

"You'll always terrify me," I assure her.

Tris grins. "That's good to know."

We are silent for a long period of time. I think Tris has fallen asleep, until she turns her head up and kisses my jaw. "Tobias," she murmurs. The way she says my name always does something to me, but nothing could compare to what she says next.

"When you're ready to ask," she says, "I'm ready to say yes."

A/N: Fluffy Fourtris. Hopefully they're not too OOC. I've got another oneshot planned, so hopefully I'll get that out. Eventually. Review, pretty please?