I Can't Stop Loving You
Kogan! :D I thought of this randomly... and since I didn't have school, why not write?
For some reason I have been writing a lot of song fics... hmmm...
Kendall's POV
"Guys, Mrs. Knight, Katie, Meet Gregory." My friend, Logan, introduced the boy at dinner that night. "He's my... my b... boyfriend." He stumbled over the words. Gregory gave a small wave and smiled slightly. His strawberry blonde hair fell in his face as he leaned forward to shake my mothers' hand. He moved it away and I saw his cute, bright blue eyes. No wonder Logan picked him.
I coughed on a mouth full of food, causing everyone to stare at me.
"That's cool." James smiled, as the focused back on Logan.
"I'm happy for you dude." Carlos stood and hugged the older teen.
"Well it's nice to meet you Gregory." Mom said.
"Please, call me Greg." He asked politely.
"Kendall?" Logan whispered my name. I kept my stare at my plate, I couldn't look at him. "Kenny?" He said, calling me the nickname he made up for me back when we were 7.
"May I be excused?" I asked my mom. "I feel kinda sick." I stood and walked out of the room before she could even answer.
Later that evening I finally got up to get something to drink. Heh more like to stop hiding like a little kid. As I emerged from my room, I saw Logan and Greg talking on the couch.
As I stood there, not sure whether I should get or drink or go back to bed, I over heard their conversation.
"I'm not sure your friend likes me to much." The boy said.
"Who? Kendall?" Logan asked, causing the other to nod. "Oh he likes you, he was just feeling kinda off."
"Really?" He asked.
"Yeah, I know Kendall. And he approves of who I date." Logan giggled slightly. I turned and walked back into my room. I only agreed to that one guy, because he seemed like a nice guy. And it was before I realized my feelings for him.
"Hey Kendall?" Carlos popped his head in my door.
"Hmm?" I tilted my head.
"Oh I was just wondering if you were up. I needed ask if I could borrow your hockey gear."
"Sure Carlos." I smiled and threw the bag to his feet.
"Thanks!" He grabbed the bag and ran out the door with James.
I snuck out to the living room after a bit and saw Logan leaning in the doorway talking to Greg.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Greg asked.
"Yep. At the pool? Say noon-ish?" Logan relayed to the other.
"Yep. It's a date." He smiled and leaned in to kiss Logan.
"Bye." Logan said, softly as they parted.
"Bye." The boy left.
This continued for a few weeks. Logan inviting him for dinner, or he was getting invited to Greg's house for dinner. The only time they were apart was during rehearsal. But even I knew, that as Logan grinned and giggled at his phone, that he was talking to Greg.
"What's this?" I walked into my room one afternoon, to see Logan and Greg fooling around on Logan's bed.
"Oh hey Kendall." Logan chuckled.
I stood in the doorway, my face turning red from embarrassment and anger. I slammed the door shut and ran out of the apartment.
"Kendall!" I heard Logan call after me, but I just kept running. I took the stairs and ran all the way up to the roof of the building. I pushed open the door to the roof and was greeted by warm spring air. As I made my way to the wall of the building one song popped in my head. Singing always calmed me down, so why not sing my feelings.
"It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.
Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you..."
I sung softly. The song just seemed to flow from my mouth, from my heart. I couldn't understand why I was so jealous of Logan's new boyfriend. I knew he wouldn't ever date me. Tears fell from my eyes as I continued to sing.
"Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out."
I shook my head in frustration. I realized that I hated this man who took my Logan from me. I hated the guy.
"Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh."
I placed my hands over my eyes as the tears fell. I just couldn't stop loving Logan.
"Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh.. "
I sang the last few words to the song. "I just can't... I can't forget about you." I tilted my head up to the sky. "I love you Logan... I love you..." I rubbed my eyes and leaned against the ledge. "I never ment to fall for you..." I whispered to the wind.
"I ment to fall for you..." A voice said from behind me. I whipped around and saw the short brunette standing there. "I love you Kendall. And I don't want you to forget about me." He said walking the three feet to me.
"What about Greg?" I looked over to my right, trying to keep my gaze from locking with his.
"Kenny..." He turned my head to make me look at him. "He knows I love you. I told him that the first day we started dating. Kendall... I love you. I never stopped loving you."
"Logan..." I sighed deeply. "I can't just break you two up." I slid past him. "I just can't. It's not right." I said sadly and walked toward the door.
Logan's POV
As I stood there, completely shocked and upset, my phone went off.
"H...Hello?" I gulped back tears, and turned toward the ledge.
"Logan... Are you okay? Did you find Kendall?" Greg asked.
"Yeah. And he says that he can't break us up. It wouldn't be right for him to." I sighed.
"Well, that really sucks." He said bluntly.
"Yeah I knew that..." I chuckled.
"See if you can get though to him tomorrow." Greg suggested.
"Yeah okay." I smiled slightly. "Bye Greg."
"Bye Logan." He said and I hung up. I pulled out my i-pod and turned it to shuffle. I layed down on one of the various beach chairs, and sang along with the sad song.
"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me"
Tears escaped my eyes as the song reminded me of Kendall.
"What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do"
I hated myself forever bringing Greg home... forever showing him to the family. I never wanted to ruin the feelings Kendall and I felt...
"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken..."
As I layed there, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Glancing up there was Kendall, my amazing knight... with tears in his eyes. I pulled the headphones out of my ears and layed them in my lap. The song still playing in the background.
"Kendall... I'm so so sorry... I never wanted to hurt you while I dated Greg. I..." Kendall stopped me and shook his head.
"You deserve to be happy. I never wanted you to not be happy, for me." He said kneeling on my chair. "But I do want to make you happy." He said and leaned his face closer to mine. His eyes gave me a questioned look. I nodded and grabbed him by the collar. He pushed his lips to mine and I snaked my arms around his neck.
"Logan..." He whispered as we broke apart.
"Kenny. It'll be fine. As long as you never stop loving me." I said grabbing my i-pod and turning it off.
"Logan. I'll never stop loving you..." He layed his head on my own and whispered softly into my hair.