This story is written for the Mischief and Mistletoe Sif/Loki holiday exchange on AO3 and is based on a prompt for a kid fic, with a Sif/Loki family of four. Ullr is Sif's son in the myths and Einmyria is an original character created by the prompter. She was described by the prompter as Ragnarok incarnate, with rather a fear of beards!
"Ullr!" The Thunderer's voice bellowed down the corridor, causing even the sentries to tremble slightly in fear. "Einmyria!"
At the sound of his children's name and the anger in his brother's voice, Loki stopped in his tracks. A moment later, a faint blur of white rushed down the corridor ahead of him, magic echoing in its wake. Curious, Loki stepped forward slowly. Staying close to the wall, he reached the main corridor and peered around the corner. Thor was pacing towards him, further away than Loki expected given the loudness of his shout. He had not yet seen Loki and as his eyes shifted towards the side corridor where Loki stood, the prince quickly stepped backwards out of sight. Given the anger in his brother's voice, and the direction it had taken, he deemed it wise to wait a while before making his presence known. Instead, he looked the other way down the corridor, sensing with his magic the path the white light had taken before. It shimmered a few yards away, hiding behind the wall of another side corridor. The magic was as recognisable as his own and Loki knew at once it was his children, hiding themselves with magic as well as stealth. A smile of pride spread across his face, for his son and daughter's power was growing stronger by the day and they would both grow to be formidable sorcerers. And warriors, if his wife had anything to do about it and Loki was certainly not going to prevent the Sheildmaiden from fulfilling her parental dreams.
His smile faded a moment later when Thor's voice thundered again down the corridor. "Ullr! Einmyria! Show yourselves at once!"
A quick glance revealed that Thor had nearly reached where he stood and Loki quickly cast a cloaking spell, one far stronger than that of his children. He had also noticed something else in his second glance and had to quickly stifle the laughter that threatened to reveal his presence. Thor's once proud beard was a vivid shade of pink!
It was a colour so bright it would put even the roses in the Queen's garden to shame and it clashed terribly with the furious red blossoming upon Thor's cheeks. His long mane of blonde hair remained intact, but the garish yellow polka dots that patterned the beard sparkled in the sunshine. Swinging Mjölnir in anger and clothed in heavy, ceremonial armour, the Allfather should have looked like a formidable warrior. Instead, he looked a fool and Loki had to cover his mouth to choke back his spasms of laughter. If only he had that Midgardian contraption called a camera right now!
The source of the Thunderer's rage was now vividly clear and Loki watched as Thor continued down the corridor, missing his quarry completely. It took a few moments for Loki to compose himself and with a rather precariously stern expression, his gaze once more settled on where his children remained hidden. The casting spell was lessened in power and as his children craned their necks to follow their Uncle, they caught their father's gaze.
To their credit, they did look suitably mortified to be caught, and both began to open their mouths, ready no doubt with excuses. Quickly though, Loki put his finger to his lips to silence them and deliberately cloaked himself fully with magic again. He caught his children's snicker and knew if their mother found out he had allowed their game to continue, he would be slaughtered in his sleep. But the image of his brother with his pink beard and yellow polka dots was too delightful to halt and it would be well worth the wrath of Sif.
The Allfather had stopped a few paces away from Loki and turned back towards him, eyes peering deeply into the shadows as he sought out the cause of his misfortune.
"Ullr! Einmyria!" His voice boomed again, the ornaments hung along the walls shaking, "Show yourselves this instant!" The Thunderer paused, Mjölnir halting in its agitated swing and Loki could have sworn he saw a little smile flash across his brother's face. Then, in a deeper, quieter and altogether more threatening voice, the Allfather continued, "Or I will seek your Uncle Heimdall and he shall find you out!"
A look of dread fell across his children's faces at this threat and their cloaking spell slipped perilously in alarm. Faces looked towards where their father stood with childish fear in their eyes. Loki knew well of the children's apprehension of their Uncle, the great, allseeing Gatekeeper who stood watch over Asgard and the nine realms. It was a fear every child in Asgard held and one adulthood did little to dissipate. Even Loki could attest to that, for marrying Sif had done little to make the gatekeeper any kinder towards the trickster. Although Loki supposed keeping him prisoner whilst in the guise of Odin probably had not helped matters. He may have been granted full pardon in Asgard for his aid in defeating Thanos, but the Gatekeeper had not lessened in his dislike of the second son of the late Odin Allfather. And so, when his children's eyes turned pleading, Loki dispersed his spell momentarily to shake his head. He would not involve his brother-in-law in this petite game. The children's faces dropped in resignation and then, in a perfect display of penitence, they slowly shuffled out of their hiding place and approached their Uncle Thor.
The Allfather heard their footsteps and spun around to face them, holding Mjölnir above him threateningly. The children kept their eyes downcast, expressions perfect pictures of remorse and even from the shadows that hid him, Loki could see the struggle on Thor's face to remain stern. "Remove this curse at once!" His loud voice echoed once again down the corridor, but it had lost much of its former anger.
The children looked up innocently and it was Einmyria who was the first brave enough to speak. "It was an accident, Uncle Thor."
"We are very sorry, Uncle Thor," Ullr chimed in, imitating his younger sister.
"But we do not know how to reverse the effects."
"Father never taught us the counterspell."
The arm holding Mjölnir lowered slowly as Thor listened to the eager excuses of the children, eyes snapping backwards and forwards between them. The children looked beseechingly up at their uncle and his stern expression fell completely. Instead it was replaced by weariness and his once angry voice now muttered, "Great Yggdrasil, why did we ever agree to this." He shook his head in exasperation, his pink beard bouncing against his neck. Its brightness reminded him of his plight and regaining somewhat of his former severity, Thor continued, "When are your parents due home from their hunting trip?"
Whatever his children's reply was, Loki did not hear it, for he caught movement in the corner of his eye and recognised the flash of red and steel immediately. He caught the person by the arm as they were marching past and pushed them back against the wall, hand covering their mouth to prevent any sound.
Sif struggled for a few moments, hands reaching for her sword and eyes fierce, until she recognised her attacker and her expression turned to annoyance. She glared at Loki until he slowly took his hand away and lessened his grip on her arm. "What in great Yggdrasil are you doing, Loki?" She struggled a little more, but it merely brought his body closer to her and she suddenly stopped, breath catching in her throat. His face was barely inches from her own and her eyes darkened as she regarded her husband; her body pressed between his and the cold wall of the palace. "Have we not played this game enough over the last week?" She tried to keep her voice stern, she truly did, but it came out as an almost breathless whisper.
The words brought a smile to Loki's lips as memories of their week in Vanaheim overtook those of the present moment. A hunting trip in the deepest forests of the Vanir, hunting Bilgesnipes and trolls for the Yule feast. Or that had been the story when they had left the children in the care of their aunt and uncle. His smile turned into a mischievous smirk as he leant closer, deliberately brushing his lips against Sif's ear as he whispered, "That is a game we can never play enough, my Lady." He pulled away slightly to look into her eyes, delighting in the shiver that ran down his wife's body. "But we may not want to make our presence known just yet."
Curiosity lit Sif's eyes then, although Loki was pleased to note there was no small amount of disappointment in them as he pulled away from her. He motioned Sif forward and she peered around the corner. Loki knew the moment she caught sight of Thor's new beard. Her expression went from complete shock, disbelief and horror at what their children had wrought, to one of overwhelming amusement. Laughter choked her, bursting forth from her lungs and it was only Loki's quick dampening spell that kept their presence unknown. Sif quickly pushed her hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter, trying hard to even stand up straight when faced with the vision before her. Thor with a bright pink beard and yellow polka dots would be seared into her memory forever! Sif's own hysterics broke through Loki's control and he could not stop his own laughter from pouring forth. It rung around the magic spell encasing them, every glance at Thor and each other bringing on more laughter until they were short of breath and aching.
"Great Yggdrasil!" She cried, wiping away the tears streaming from her eyes, finally regaining her composure, "What have our children done!"
Loki's reply was to shake his head in wonder and he followed Sif as she stepped out from their corner, his cloaking spell still covering them. They could hear the Allfather now, his voice a far cry from the anger Loki had heard from him before.
"Are you sure you cannot undo this magic?" Thor had taken to pleading with the children, but they shook their heads, hands behind backs and what Loki recognised as mischief now dancing in their eyes.
"Father only taught us to cast the spell," Einmyria replied, her voice almost cocky now she knew they had suitably mollified their uncle.
Her words brought a stern look from Sif as she glared back at Loki. "You taught them this?"
"It is simple enough magic," Loki shrugged, although he was wise enough to show a little guilt in his expression. "I merely taught them the magic of illusions. It is not my fault if they use it irresponsibly."
Sif shook her head at her husband, then quickly looked away so he would not see her own answering smile. The antics of their children may be legendary in the palace, but Sif often found it difficult to chastise them for it. She remembered well the exploits of her, Loki and Thor when they were younger, adventures and mischief that continued well past the age of the children before them. Her fond reminiscing was cut short a moment later though, when a shrill voice echoed down the hallway towards them.
"Thor! Thor! Have you found them!" The speaker appeared around the corner, dashing towards the group with her long shawl unravelling behind her. She pulled up short as she reached them, one hand going to her loose shawl and the other to her round belly. Not only was she still unaccustomed to the fancy Asgardian wear, but Jane still forgot how exhausting being pregnant could be. She was already breathless from her short run from the gardens, where her search for the children had proven fruitless. "Oh thank goodness! I've been searching everywhere!" Her anxiety was fading quickly, but it took a few moments to regain her breath.
"Jane! Are you alright?" Thor gripped his wife's shoulders, his face and voice anxious as all thoughts of his pink beard fled from his mind.
A roll of her eyes was Jane's immediate response as she pulled away from him. With a voice a little too breathless to be harsh, she replied, "I may not be as strong as you Asgardians, but I'm sure I will survive a bit of exercise!"
Thor did not look convinced. It had taken many years for Jane's body to adjust to her immortality. The golden apples Loki had tricked out of Iðunn had extended her life, but it was many decades before she had been able to conceive. Now Thor worried almost constantly for his wife's safety, for not even the great healer Eir could predict how the former mortal would react to childbirth. It was a worry that annoyed Jane greatly, for she had never felt stronger or fitter in her life, even despite the pregnancy. She glared at her husband for a moment, until she noticed that Thor's beard was still the same fluorescent pink!
Her gaze turned reprimanding as she looked towards the children. The mischief quickly fell from their eyes and their expressions once more became penitent and full of remorse. But their Aunt Jane was not as easily fooled as their uncle, and she put her hands on her hips and leant down towards them. "Why is your Uncle's beard still pink?" A slight tremor of a smile threatened to slip into her final words, but she quashed it down and tightened her scowl.
Ullr's feet shuffled awkwardly, eyes fixed to the floor, and Einmyria hands fidgeted nervously behind her back. But they were spared an answer by their uncle, who now looked simply wretched. "It was an accident! They say they cannot undo it!"
"Is that so," Jane frowned at the children, but as innocent eyes met hers, she turned back towards her husband with a sigh. "Then we shall have to wait for their parents to come home."
"But we cannot wait! I must address the people at the Yule feast tonight! I cannot allow them to see me like this!"
"Sif insisted they'd be back before the feast, Thor. I'm sure they'll be here in time."
"But what if they are delayed! Jane! Whatever will I do?" A streak of lightning flew from Mjölnir and ricocheted off the wall, narrowly missing a lone sentry. The floor of the corridor shook dangerously, all eyes watching as a small crack spread through the golden wall. Thor quickly pulled the hammer towards him, holding it protectively lest the weapon reflect any more of his anxiety.
Whilst Sif had watched the exchange with amusement, the unintentional lightning strike revealed her friend's genuine fright over what her children had wrought. She turned towards Loki and he nodded, immediately understanding the guilt in her eyes. He gently took her arm and led her back down the side corridor, before a flash of green swept around them and Sif felt the presence of the cloaking spell disperse. She reached for Loki's hand and, as casually as they could manage, they walked into the main corridor to confront the group.
"Mother! Father!" The children cried excitedly, starting to run towards their parents. Their eager footsteps halted a moment later though, as they remembered their crime and once more cast their features into repentance.
"Oh! Thank Yggdrasil your back!" Thor stepped eagerly towards the couple in relief, Jane beside him.
As Sif approached the group, eyes casting between the children and adults before her, it was only due to so many centuries as the trickster's lover that Sif was able to maintain her straight face. It deliberately widened into shock as she looked at Thor, eyes focusing on the beard as the garish pink seemed to become almost luminescent this close. The laughter that once more threatened to spill from her lips was genuine enough and it threatened to give her away as she asked innocently, "What is going on?"
"My beard!" Thor cried, his earlier relief giving way to anxiousness once more. "Your children turned it pink!"
"It was an accident, mother."
"We did not know what would happen!"
"And they say they cannot turn it back!" Thor looked desperately at his brother, "Loki, you must fix this; I cannot address the Yule feast looking like this!"
Unbidden, an image of Thor at the front of the great hall, the entire court of Asgard before him with his pink beard glowing in the twilight, flooded her mind. The laughter was almost too much to contain, but Sif clenched her fingers and managed to smother her smile. Instead she turned her gaze sternly upon her children and watched as their eyes widened in remorse.
"Indeed not," Loki replied dryly and Sif felt her stern expression threaten to split into laughter again. "Ullr, Einmyria, surely you can reverse this simple spell?"
His sharp gaze at the children left them fidgeting nervously, for all three knew the simplicity of such a spell. Ullr looked at Einmyria in alarm and the princess' eyes flashed quickly in thought. "I am sorry, father, but we do not know how it happened."
It took only a heartbeat for Ullr to catch on and he quickly added, "As it was an accident. Please mother, we did not do it on purpose."
"But it does mean," Einmyria continued, "we do not know how to reverse it, father."
The children's look of penitence and earnest sorrow was turned full force on their parents now, and Sif would swear to anyone it was only due to her absence for the last week that she allowed her stern gaze to falter. Even the King and Queen were looking at them with pleading eyes. She was about to speak, to offer her apologies to the royal couple and firm words to her children, but it was Loki who spoke first.
"Then that is most unfortunate." Loki narrowed his eyes at the children, his features better schooled than Sif's, but he did avoid her gaze. His wife was sure to notice the hint of mischief in his eyes.
"You mean…" Thor paused, panic overtaking him, "You cannot undo this?"
"I do not know, Thor. If the magic was cast by mistake, the actual spell unknown… Well, any number of counterspells may be required." A sombre expression hid his smirk as he finished, "And we would not want to make the situation any worse."
The Allfather's hand reached for his beard in horror and Jane's quickly reached out to clutch his other, her earlier alarm returning.
"Perhaps we could announce a Masquerade Ball, or fancy dress," Loki offered in feigned helpfulness.
"I hear they are all the rage in Midgard," Sif added, hiding her grin until she caught her husband's eye. His own flashed briefly, in both pride and mischief, for it seemed he had underestimated his wife. She had joined him readily in this game and it would be her laughter, not her wrath, that would be unleashed upon him.
"But it is too late to announce such a change, brother! The feast begins at dusk!"
"Surely there's something you can do, Loki." The Queen's voice was full of anguish now. As comical as his beard had become, she would not see her husband embarrassed so in front of his people.
A quick nod of her head told Loki that Sif agreed, but Loki waited a few moments longer, eyes narrowed in pretend thoughtfulness. He waited until even his children's faces filled with horror, until it dispelled any mischief that still lingered in their eyes. Knowledge of the cruel repercussions of their misdemeanour would be a far greater punishment than any banishment from feasts or lack of treats could inflict. Before the trickster had chance to answer the Allfather though, heavy footsteps echoed down the stone hallway, fast and numerous and quickly upon them. The Warriors Three careened to a stop, almost tripping over the group in their haste.
"Odin's Ravens! You have found them!" Fandral was the first to regain his footing, Hogun quickly behind him. It took Volstagg a few more deep breathes to recover from their flight and it was rather begrudgingly that he turned his face towards the group.
"Great Yggdrasil!" Sif exclaimed, her hand quickly covering her mouth in what she hoped would be construed as shock, rather than laughter. It seemed Hogun's and Fandral's own, small beards had escaped any damage, but Volstagg's mass of a beard was as bright as an emerald, with ruby red stripes zigzagging across it. The warrior's eyes were almost as alarmed as that of their King when he saw that Thor's beard was still a brilliant, bright pink.
"They do not know how to fix it, my friend," Thor answered his friend's frantic look.
"That cannot be! The magic must be undone!" Volstagg turned towards Loki in desperation, "Surely you must know a way?"
All seven pairs of eyes pleaded with the prince, expectant gazes filled with hope. Only Fandral's still possessed a glint of humour, although their hour long search for the children, and Volstagg's continual curses, had rather lessened his joviality.
Loki regarded them all slowly, eyes deliberately casting upon each before him, lingering sharply on his children until they squirmed under his fierce gaze. Sif remained stoic beside her husband and it was only when he had revealed in the mischief and power long enough, did he deem to answer.
"There is a spell I can try, but I do warn you, it may not work. And…" He added dramatically, "It may cause even greater harm."
The hopeful faces before him did not falter. Thor and Volstagg nodded eagerly, the rest soon following. Even Hogun looked expectantly at the Prince, his usual grim expression now earnest.
In a rather grandiose display, Loki raised his hands, lips chanting meaningless words as a green light began to form within his palms. All eyes followed the light as it snaked towards the warrior and king, dispersing around their beards, before exploding in a blinding, emerald light.
"By the nines!" Volstagg cursed, blinking in the wake of the magic.
Perhaps a simple flick of his wrist would have been easier, and just as effective, but the looks of awe on those before him, especially from his children, were certainly worth the theatricals.
"Has it worked," Thor asked earnestly, turning towards his wife.
Her excited expression met his, "It has, Thor! It worked!"
Volstagg sought out Hogun, even though Fandral stood nearer. "And mine, is it saved?"
"Indeed, it is," Hogun replied, voice grim as ever now the chaos was averted. Not content to trust the word of his loyal friend though, Volstagg rushed towards the nearest golden pillar, seeking out his reflection like a maid before her first ball. Thor quickly followed, hand grasping at his beard. It was several moments of preening later before the warriors were satisfied and returned to the group, relief in everyone's faces, including the children.
"I thank you, brother." Thor began to bow his head in thanks at Loki, but as his gaze fell across the children, his grateful smile became a frown. "Although it was the least you could do, considering..." His features hardened as he turned towards his niece and nephew.
Einmyria wisely looked quickly at the floor, but Ullr faced his uncle and said hastily, "But it was an accident, Uncle Thor!"
As Thor's frown deepened, Sif quickly stepped forward towards the children, "Yes, I am sure it was. But as all is now as it should be, I best see you two suitably dressed for the feast tonight." Sif's stern voice caused the children to shuffle awkwardly and they resisted at first when Sif nudged them down the corridor. Now they were seemingly pardoned, the two children were loathed to leave the excitement for the detested endeavour of getting dressed up. A firmer push had their feet moving, albeit slowly, and with assistance from Jane, Sif managed to move the dismayed children down the hallway towards their chambers.
Loki moved to follow his family, but Thor's hand clasped him firmly on the shoulder. He stopped immediately, though it was a few moments before he met his brother's eye. He smiled brightly and said, as innocently as he could manage, "In all the chaos, we have quite forgotten to thank you, Thor. I do hope the children were not too bothersome. And please do pass our regards onto dear Jane." Loki made to walk away, but the pressure of Thor's grip increased.
"Your thanks are duly noted, brother, but your apology is not."
"Apology?" Loki's voice was the perfect pitch of surprise.
"Aye!" Volstagg chimed in, "It was your children who turned my precious beard green!"
"Well," Loki replied as he stepped away from Thor, "I have warned you before, Volstagg, Einmyria does not like beards."
The warrior reached a nervous hand up towards his beard, the horror still fresh in his memory. Confident it still remained in tact, and no longer the colour of bright emeralds, Volstagg met the prince's gaze. "And I refuse to remove my pride and joy just to appease the princess." His voice was firm, but the mirth within it clear enough, as was the smile that could be seen through the newly restored mass of hair.
"Then it is a good thing, dear friend," Fandral laughed, lightly knocking Volstagg on the back, "that you rather suit the colour green!"
A scowl was the warrior's answer and Loki began to walk away once more. Thor soon stopped him with another firm grip to his shoulder, "Loki?"
Sighing, the prince towards his brother, "I apologise on my children's behalf for their accident. Is that sufficient for you, Thor?"
"Accident?" Fandral asked rhetorically, "Rather a convenient excuse, do you not think."
"Aye!" Thor replied curtly, though his own frown was threatening to twitch into a smile, "And one I remember well from our youth, brother. Often we stood before father with the same innocent looks and careful words."
"I know not what you mean, dear brother," Loki retorted, though he could not help smiling fondly at the memory of the tricks they had played in their day. "Magic is a complicated discipline and accidents do happen."
"Then perhaps I can advise teaching your children the importance of carefulness and deliberation before they try any more spells." Thor answered, voice solemn, though his eyes were shining with mirth.
"And to leave my poor beard alone!"
"But, my friends, where would be the fun in that?" Loki smiled mischievously.
"We have suffered enough fun at you children's hands during your absence, Loki." Hogun replied, voice grimmer than usual. The smiles suddenly slipped from the other warriors, their eyes shifting to the floor as they began to fidget nervously.
"What do you mean?" Loki asked, growing suspicious, "What else have my children done?"
Anxious looks were cast between the four warriors, before the gazes pressed on Thor to answer. He took a few moments to reach Loki's eyes and said uneasily, "We shall speak of this later, brother."
"Aye!" Volstagg agreed, following the King hastily, "At the feast."
The warriors quickly retreated and Loki watched them with growing trepidation.
Behind him, Fandral knocked the prince lightly on the back, before following their friends, "After you have drank a good few tankards of mead!"
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this one shot. My other Sif/Loki stories have not been forgotten, they're in the works - I'm getting there slowly!