AAAAACCCCCKKKKKK! yeah, so it's ONLY been, like, 5 months since I've done anything with this... I have a huge bin full of notebooks full of stories. no, literally. I just haven't posted them because-well... I'm lazy, like, majorly lazy. so here we go, sorry about the really crappy title but I can't think of a better one, I hate coming up with titles...
I wrote this story in, um, November? December? A while ago at any rate, when I was feeling depressed and bla bla bla. So I'm finally sitting down and posting a bunch of my stories.
DISCLAIMER: yeah, 'cause I sooo own X-Men evolution and these characters, thus why I'm writing FAN-fiction.
That was it. The last straw. Rogue simply couldn't take it anymore. This time she'd finally go through with it.
She hurriedly walked to her room, not saying a word to anyone she happened to pass.
Once inside, she locked the door and drew the curtains shut. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, and holding back the tears, Rogue opened the drawer pulled out a knife. Slowly, she rolled up her sleeve revealing angry red slashes up and down the inside of her arm.
Closing her eyes, she pressed the knife to her wrist and felt the soft, tender skin break as blood trickled out. It was now or never. She either finished the horrible deed or chickened out and quit. Her face wet with tears and smeared with make up, she began adding more pressure.
However, she was interrupted by a knock on her door and a sing-song voice saying, "Oh, Roguey! Chere, ya' in dere?''
Her breath hitched and she hastily tossed the knife under a pillow and yanked down her sleeve.
"G-Go away!" She yelled wiping her tears and quickly fixing her make up.
"Chere! Remy's shocked, ya' locked da door!'' Who she knew to be Remy answered.
"J-Just, just leave me alone!l'' She shouted to him.
Well, Remy LeBeau had no intention of doing anything of the sort. He easily picked the lock and entered moments later grinning.
"Bonjour, chere. Ya' left early dis mornin' b'fore Remy could say hello t' ya'.''
''Waddaya' want, Gambit?'' Rogue asked, not meeting his eyes.
"Well, Re-''He closed the door then abruptly stopped, his smile fading once he saw her expression. "Chere? Chere, what's wrong?"
"Nothing!'' She exclaimed holding her arm closer, but not before Remy saw.
He looked from the drops of blood on the floor and bed to her blood-soaked sleeve.
"Rogue, Rogue what did you do?'' He asked slightly panicked, looking at her with concern-filled eyes.
"Nothin'! Ah-Ah didn't do anything!" She choked back a sob.
"Rogue, let me see your arm."
"No!''
"Let me see it!'' He yelled firmly, grabbing her arm and pulling back the sleeve.
"No! Ah-Ah-..."
He stood speechless staring at the scars of where she had cut herself and the bleeding gash across her wrist. Slowly, he met her eyes looking extremely afraid.
"Rogue... chere, I-... I don't understand...Why? Why would you do this?''
"Ah-Ah-" Rogue shook her head.
"I need t' get Hank."
"No! No please Remy! Don't tell anyone! Please, please don't! Please, Remy, please!.'' She begged feebly.
He studied her pleading eyes. "Chere, ya' need help."
"Please, Remy.'' She repeated in just barely above a whisper one last time.
"Alright, for now. Give me da object dat dis." He told her softly, his heart breaking at the mere thought of his Rogue hurting herself, much less seeing she actually had.
After a pause, she reached under the pillow and handed him the knife.
"Is dere anymore?''
She shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
"Now ya're gonna' let me bandage ya' up.'' Remy said to her gently but firmly. "Den, ya gonna tell me everything dat would cause ya t' do somethin' like dis. I don't care if it takes minutes or if it takes months. Ya're gonna tell me everythin' so I can help ya. I want your word dat ya' will.''
Finally meeting his eyes, she hesitantly nodded.
"And lastly, ya ain't never gonna do anythin' t' ya'self dat could even remotely hurt ya' ever again. I don't even wanna find a paper cut dat ya did on purpose. D'ya' understand?"
She nodded again. He hugged her tightly, pressing her small, fragile body up against his. Whispering softly in French, he held her for another moment or two before planting a lingering kiss on the top of her head and leaving to grab the necessary supplies.
Remy returned quickly, and sitting down beside her, tenderly cleaned, wrapped and bandaged her wrist. When he looked up, Rogue noticed his eyes glistened with tears.
''Rogue, chere tell me. Why did ya' do dis?''He asked her softly, wiping the tears from her cheeks gently.
"Ah-Ah-Ah- just... Ah just felt like no one care..." She whispered, tears once again flowing freely down her face.
"Ya' know dat's not true." He murmured holding her close.
"B-But no one ever acted like it.. No one even asked how my day was or-or-or- if Ah was okay-! Ah just-'' She stopped choking back a sob.
He tucked her head into his chest. "I guess we t'ought ya'd bite off our heads if we did, chere.''
"But at least Ah'd know that maybe ya actually cared!...None ever seems to want to include me, Ah just-Ah just didn't think anyone would miss me...''
"Dat's not true. even if no one else did, ya'd always have me." He assured her.
"Ah-Ah just want it to end Remy!''
"Suicide's da easy way out, chere. Ya' too strong for dat.''
"Ah'm not as strong as ya' think.''
"I know, chere, an' wit' me ya' don' have t' be.''
"Ah-Ah don't know any other way, Remy! Ah-Ah've been livin' a liie for so long-... Ah don't thin Ah can go back..." She mumbled sounding utterly defeated.
"Dat's why I'm here, I wanna help ya' chere, but I gotta know what I'm up against.''
"Ah-Ah can't! Ah just can't!"
"Rogue, listen t' me. Ya' promised, ya gave me your word.''
"What good is my word?Ah'm-''
"Rogue, just tell me what's botherin' ya'. Dat's all I ask, chere.''
She looked up and he soothingly wiped her tears again. "It'll be alright, chere, we'll get ya' t'rough dis. Just tell me, please.''
Rogue sniffed staring anywhere but at him.
"Ah-Ah just feel so-... angry all the time, Ah-... Ah didn't want to-to start cutting but-... it was the only way Ah could make it stop...make them stop..."
"Who?" He asked quietly.
"The-The voice, the other in my head... It's the only way they shut up, leave me alone, stop-... tormenting me... Ah used to only have to do it once every now and then, but-... they grew worse over time... Ah had to do it weekly, daily but they kept getting louder. Ah had to make the cuts longer, deeper to make them stop...but that wasn't good enough." She began sobbing even harder to the point where he could barely understand her.
"They'd haunt me in my dreams, never giving me a moment's peace... They'd hurt me. Mentally, at first, but soon they could get control for short alpses of time...''
"Why didn't ya tell someone? Dat's why you're here." He whispered, looking heart-broken, tears began to stream down his face at her pain.
"Ah couldn't, they don't trust me. Ever since Ah lost control at the concert all those months ago, they haven't treated me the same. The think Ah'm weak!'' She spat as thought that was the most vile and disgusting thing she could think of. "They act as though A'm a bomb about to explose any minute! Ah just couldn't take it anymore! Ah can't take it anymore... Remy, Ah just-Ah just wanna'-... Ah just wanna' die, Remy! Ah-"
"Don't say dat!" He exclaimed.
"But-"
"No! We'll gecha' t'rough dis, I promise. If ya kill yourself, you'll be murdering me too."
Rogue let out another sob. Remy pulled her closer and placed her head under his chin.
"Shh, he soothed stroking her hair. "It'll all be over soon.''
She continued to sob for another hour or so, Remy merely holding her as close as he could and whispering softly in French. Even after she quieted, Remy held her and occasionly murmured comforting words.
"I love ya' so much, chere." He finally whispered.
Rogue looked up increduously, "R-Really?" She hiccuped.
"'Course, chere, more dan anythin'..." He tenderly dried her face and tucked her hair begind her ears.
She smiled weakly. "Ya' should do dat more often, chere. Ya have da most beautiful smile..."
"Ah'm sorry... Ah-Ah didn't mean to hurt you, Ah just-... didn't think you'd care..." She mumbled not quite meeting her eyes.
He tucked her head back into its "proper" spot as he said. "Rogue, I've been t'rough some pretty horrific and scary t'ings in my time, but I've never been as terrified as when I t'ought ya' were gonna kill ya'self.. An' I had-have-ya' blood all over me. Don't ever hurt ya'self again, please, chere.''
"Are-Are ya' gonna' tell anyone?'' She asked after a long silence.
"Non, Not about t'day. But I'm gonna make sure Xavier helps ya wit' da others up dere, an' no matter how much pokin' around he does, even if he finds dis exact memory, I won't let ya' stop goin' t' him until it's safe for ya' again.''
"Remy? Thank you... for everything."
"Wouldn't have it any other way, chere. Wouldn't have it any other way." He whispered kissing the top of her head and holding her tighter.
I hope ya'll liked it. I'd really like to know if you did. So, ya know, reviews might be nice. ::ahem:: I promise you I won't complain if you leave a nice, looooong review. or even a short one would be good. Or a medium sized one. Ya know, it doesn't have to exceed the limit, ::cough:: but reviews would be cool. *awkward silence* okay, I hope you got my oh, so subtle hints. :D
P.S. I hope I got out all the bugs, but Word doesn't like any of my dialogue because it's either a fragment, not a word, or both, and I had neither the time nor the patience to re-read this sucker. Please tell me of any errors you may happen to pick up on.