There's a big difference from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. It creeps up on you slowly that when it happens you don't realise it and in a blink of an eye you're there, were you are and aren't suppose to be, stuck in between lost and found and not knowing what the hell to do, well, that's how Bella felt anyways.
Steps to Grow
Chapter one
5 years ago.
When I was twelve years old, Edward and his parents and would come over every Friday night for dinner.
They'd bring big plates of food and a bowl of dessert and place it next to all the other plates my mother had set out on the dinning table.
Every Friday night before dinner, Edward and I would sneak up stairs and watch my older brother Emmett do his homework with his classmate Rosalie Hale in his room.
On this particular night, Edward and I were sitting by his door watching the big kids, when Rosalie sat up and sat on Emmett's lap,
like it was the most natural thing in the world.
We also watched when his big hands started to rub up Rosalie's top.
It was weird and it looked funny so I laughed.
Edward got a scared look on his face and quickly put hand over my mouth, but it was to late.
Emmett heard us, shouted, then slammed the door in our sneaking faces, which was pointless because Rosalie left only a few minutes after that had happened.
Emmett was four years older then Edward and I and he got to sit at the big table with all the other adults, while me and Edward sat in front of the TV and ate with our legs crossed.
That was when I asked Edward a question.
"Do you think Em like likes Rose?"
"I guess," Edward said, not interested.
"Do you think they do that all the time? They're always in his room."
Edward laughed and looked down, his browny bronze hair looked messy and everywhere and good.
"Yep," he said.
"Why?"
"Because he wants to."
"Do you want to?"
Edward's lips went into a thin line, he looked like he was thinking.
"Yeah, if it was with Rosalie Hale, then yeah."
I frowned at this, why was she referred to.
I knew she had big boobs and pretty big blue eyes.
I knew she had long blond hair and glossy lips.
I looked down and tugged at my normal brown hair. It was long. But not blond.
I didn't have boobs like Rosalie, I bet she wore one of those bras that the girls in Emmett's magazines wore.
I decided I was kind of jealous of Rosalie, with her big boobs and her pretty eyes and the way she got boys attention, like, Edwards attention.
The next following Friday morning, I walked in to class and sat next to Jessica Stanley.
"So, apparently Mike thinks you're cute," Jess said, her smile big but her eyes looked kind of... off.
My head tilted back, looking in Jess's direction.
Well, this was different.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he passed a note to Tyler and Lauren stole it from him and then gave it to me, look," Jessica said and unfolded a dirty white piece of paper that looked crinkled and exciting and in the middle of it was Mikes noticeable, messy, hand writing.
Yeah, Dad bought it for me on the weekend, it's so cool.
Btw, Bella's hell cute, hey.
My little heart swelled up and my grin appeared.
"You're so lucky. Mike totally likes you."
"You think?"
"Uh, yeah," Jess said, like it was the most obvious thing.
Recess and Lunch was spent with me thinking about Mikes note, me thinking about Mike, me looking around for Mike.
I didn't have to look very far, he always seemed to be in front of me with his group of friends, smiling and looking at me and thinking I'm cute.
Edward poked my side and gave me a weird look.
"Whats wrong with you today, why do you keep looking around? Stop looking around," Edward said, getting in my face.
"Nothing, nothing... um, It's Mike," I couldn't help myself.
"What about him?"
"He thinks I'm cute," I said, in a voice I didn't really recognize.
"Uh, What?"
"He passed a note to Tyler, then Lauren stole it and then gave it to Jessic-,"
"I wanna see the note."
"Sorry, can't, Jess still has it."
Edward just looked at me and then said bye and then walked off with his best friend Garrett.
Weird.
After school, Alice danced around my room in a red sun dress and red shoes, with pink lips and brown eyes and short, jet black hair.
I loved Alice, she was different from Jessica.
She didn't get those off eyes and tight smiles, she didn't get a mean tone in her voice when she was talking to me. She always sounded interested and not nosy.
"Oh my god, Mike is so cool," Alice said. "I bet he wants to be your boyfriend."
I smiled. "Maybe."
Alice suddenly stopped moving around and sat in front of my bed and looked up at me.
"What did Edward say?"
Confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"Like, does he care?"
"Why would he care?"
Alice stared at me for a few seconds before answering. "I dunno, he comes over all the time and you're both always laughing, and that time you's went bike riding to the park-,"
I rolled my eyes, Alice was very silly sometimes.
"Edward wouldn't care, he cares about girls that look like Rosalie."
"...She has big boobs."
"I know."
Alice and I both looked down at our bee stung chests, we didn't have big boobs.
"Oh, well, Oh! I have an idea," Alice said with a big smile.
Alice left my house a few hours later and I started to hear Edward's parents and my own talking and laughing down stairs when someone knocked on my door.
"Bella? Your Mum told me to come and get you, dinner's almost ready and - Uh. Wow. What the hell are those?" Edward asked, wide eyed and mouth open, pointing to my over sized chest.
Pushing the tissues that were stuffed in my top around, I put my chin up and tried to ignore the itchy feeling the tissues were giving me.
"Boobs," I said, rolling my eyes.
Edward stared at me for a second more, then doubled over laughing. His face red.
"Stop laughing!" I screeched, pulling out the tissues quickly. Yeah, this was a pretty stupid idea, Alice.
This caused Edward to laugh harder.
About to cry, I pouted and sat on the floor, crossing my arms.
"Tell my Mum I'm not hungry, I'm not coming down stairs," I said, glaring at Edward's feet.
Edward walked over to me and sat down.
"Stop being a baby."
"Rosalie's boobs are big like that, and you don't laugh at her," I said, ignoring what Edward said.
"Rosalie's boobs aren't tissues and- wait. Oh, is that what this is all about? Last week and the questions? You wanna look like Rosalie?"
When I didn't answer,Edward nudged me with his knee and I looked up.
"You don't look like Rosalie, but still, Mike thinks you're cute."
"Oh, well, yeah, but..."
I suddenly felt very, very embarrassed.
Because that was Mike that thought that and not Edward.
Edward liked girls that looked like Rosalie.
Edward was always the smarter one, he figured it out faster then I did.
And I was the one trying to dress up... or more, fill out like Rosalie did and I only just realized that there was an intention behind my action.
I wanted Edward to notice me like he noticed Rosalie.
Both our eyes widened and I quickly shook it off.
"Whatever, I'm hungry now, lets go eat," I said, standing up quickly and walked out of my room with Edward behind me.
We got down stairs and Emmett sat at the big table with all the adults, Edward and I sat crossed legged in front of a TV.
I looked at Edwards hair and how it always looked messy, but I liked it, it looked good.
I thought about Mikes note and how he thought I was cute.
I smiled because I thought Mike was cute too.
But Edward was cuter.