Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers.
A/N: Another late Christmas one this happens about two years after Christmas's Thor Gift and is part of the Holiday Series.
Thor opened the door to the roof and strode out across it until he came to a stop moments later. Loki was sitting on the edge of the roof with his back to him, legs dangling in the breeze while snow fell lightly around them. He wasn't fond of his brother being on the edge of very tall building, however, he knew that Loki was careful and if he didn't want to fall he wouldn't. Not to mention that even if he did somehow manage to accidentally fall, he could teleport away before he hit the ground.
"Tony told me that you've been here for an hour." Thor said trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, but most likely not succeeding. "He should have told me when you got here." he grumbled under his voice He continuing walking slowly towards Loki who didn't turn around, or even seem to register that Thor was there.
"You must be f-" Thor cut himself off as he remember that Loki was a frost giant and bit his lip fearing that Loki would be offended by his comment and leave, but Loki didn't. Thor found himself wishing that he could see his brothers face, but all he could see was his back. Thor stepped closer to his brother and he was starting to get worried when Loki still didn't say anything, or move in any kind of matter that indicated that Loki knew he was there.
"Loki?" Thor asked stopping as he got to the edge of the roof. Loki didn't answer, but Thor was able to shift his body so that he could see the left side of Loki's face. His eyes were staring into nothing and that made Thor even more nervous.
"Loki?" Thor asked again slightly louder and with more concern in his voice.
"Please answer me Loki." Thor begged because now he was starting to fear that Loki was going to leap off the edge and be lost to him again like on the bifrost. Loki sbrow creased slightly in what looked to be confusion.
"Thor, who am I?" Loki asked still without looking at him. Thor blinked, not expecting the question and not having an answer ready.
"You are my brother." Thor said after a moment and he went to the edge and sat down next to his brother. Loki nodded, still looking into the snow like he wasn't completely aware of what was going on.
"Loki, you are worrying me." Thor said aloud. Loki didn't respond and just keep looking at something that only he could see.
"I used to know exactly who I was." Loki muttered so softly that Thor wasn't exactly sure if he had heard him right.
"What?" Thor asked, but Loki did not repeat himself. Thor found himself starting to get a little chilly sitting there as the snow fell around him as he had not grabbed any kind of protection from the snow. He didn't make any move to go inside though, not when Loki was worrying him like he was.
"When did I lose him?" Loki muttered again so softly that Thor wasn't sure if that's what he said.
"Loki, please let me help." Thor asked Loki who didn't seem to hear him. Thor grabbed Loki's hand and became even more worried when Loki didn't seem to notice. Loki had ever seen since they had first met on Midgard wasn't overly fond of touching and would usually break the touch pretty quickly.
"Let me know what's wrong." Thor begged Loki who finally blinked and focused on him for a moment before his gaze went away again. So he was in there somewhere, which he supposed was good, but still not there enough to take back his hand. Loki didn't not speak for awhile and Thor dropped his hand. He looked around at the buildings and at the softly falling snow wishing that he had brought at least a jacket to protect him from the cold. Thor was about to excuse himself to go back inside when Loki spoke again.
"Do you know what day it is?" Loki voice asked quietly. Thor blinked, of course he knew what day it was. It was the day that he had never before seen Loki on at least on Earth. In fact, usually except for Thanksgiving he didn't see Loki until New Years. The only exception being for the last few years in which they had exchanged gifts and were together for about an hour before Loki usually teleported him back to Avengers Tower.
Loki usually took him to some place that Thor still didn't know where it was. Loki in fact teleported them into a room without windows and Loki had warned Thor that if he looked outside the room he would be teleported out faster than he could say 'Merry Christmas'.
However, Christmas was a Midgardian Holiday, not one that they had grown up celebrating. Today was the Winter Solstice and since Earths and Asgard had similar orbits and it landed on similar days in the calender year. It was their largest Holiday on Asgard. It was the one Holiday he missed and even though Christmas was a nice Midgardian Holiday he missed it and usually ended up going to Asgard after Christmas to celebrate at least the end of Jul.
"I didn't want to come." Loki said but didn't elaborate.
"Why not?" Thor asked wondering why Loki had always avoided him around this time of year, except for recently gift giving.
"It seems wrong to be here." Thor frowned still confused by what his brother was saying.
"Why would it be wrong to be here?" Thor asked trying to draw some answers out of Loki that would make sense, while also trying to make sure his mouth wasn't chattering even though he had started shivering.
"She should be here." Thor did not have to ask to understand that the she in question was their mother.
"I miss her too." Thor said solemnly. He missed her all the time, her voice, her presence, her comfort.
"It seems wrong for this day to be here when she isn't." Loki said still using that vacant stare which still worried him. "You look like her." Loki said softly. He did somewhat, he had inherited his blond hair from his mother and some other features.
"Is that why you avoid me except for the holidays?" Thor asked curiously. There were 365 days in the Midgardian Calender year and he probably saw Loki on maybe ten of them, although he talked to him sometimes on non-holidays usually to talk about the holidays.
"No. Yes. Partially." Loki said slowly.
"What's the other part?" Thor wondered.
"If we both live long enough I may tell you." Loki said for the first time he had the mischievous look back into his eyes that abruptly died again as Loki looked at Thor and he frowned.
"Thor you're freezing."
"I'm fine." Thor insisted not wanting to spoil the moment, as it wasn't often they were together on the solstice and it had been a long time since Loki had willingly talked about their mother or their relationship. Loki though was looking at him concerned and Thor was sure that Loki was about to teleport him back into the tower. Instead there was suddenly a coat in Loki's hands which he gave to Thor. Thor put on the thick coat and did up the buttons. It was a very thick coat and warmed him quite easily. Loki's eyes raked over his form probably looking for any sign of Thor still being cold ,which warmed him inside considerably. Thor was feeling quite a bit warmer though and apparently Loki could see that because eventually he relaxed and gazed back out at the snow.
"Why don't you just tell me now?" Thor asked and Loki mouth quirked slightly again but he didn't look at him or answer.
"I can keep a secret you know." Thor said and started to lightly swung his feet over the edge. Loki looked at him this time with raised eyebrows.
"Yes, like you kept the news to yourself when I told you that I had taken Bor." Thor tried badly to hide his smile. Loki had taken something that had represented their grandfather without realizing how important it was and told Thor when he realized that other people were looking for it. Thor had promised not to tell, but he had told anyways when their mother had asked him.
"I was 374"(equivalent of 7). He said defensively.
"That doesn't excuse it." Loki said but he was also wearing a hint of a smile that indicated he wasn't as sore about it as he was pretending to be.
"It's not like you never told when you weren't supposed to." Thor mentioned and Loki's smile became that much wider. They had told on each other quite a bit in their youth. Loki's smile faded again and he gave a self depreciating laugh.
"I forgot about that one." Thor frowned as he didn't understand. "Will I ever know?" Loki muttered under his breath.
"Loki you can talk to me." Thor said and Loki eyes momentarily flicked over to him then back to the snow. He shook his head.
"I can't."
"You can." Thor insisted.
"Will you just sit with me for awhile?" Loki asked after a long moment of silence.
"Of course." Thor nodded, if Loki would not talk to him about what was bothering him he would do what he could.
Thanks for reading Please Review and if you haven't done so already check out the rest of the Holiday Series. They are Halloween Fun, Halloween Terror. Halloween Horror, Thanksgiving Feast, Thanksgiving Gathering, Black Friday Madness, and Christmas Thor's Gift.