You once said that you wished you were a fish so that you could breath while you were drowning. I shrugged and asked you where you heard that. You said it was in some book you read a while back, but that it also applied to you. I didn't really understand what you were saying, and I never understood what you meant by it either. Now I do. Sure I knew that you felt so much pain watching so many pedophiles we encountered leave innocent men but I never realized that each time it was like a knife was ravaging a piece of you.I loved you so much, but in a different way than what most people called love. I didn't love you in that sort of way, I knew you too well. And I knew how hurt you would be if I couldn't always be there for you. But I didn't know that if I wouldn't love you in that way (even with the risks) you would think of me as the villain. I can always remember when you would look at me with so much emotion that I almost broke down from looking at you suffer. You were like a beaten puppy that had survived so much abuse that even though your heart was still beating it seemed as though it had stopped. But in the end you would always give me a little smile that made the sun shine a little brighter. Sadly like everything, it couldn't last. One day the smiles became just a little smaller and the eyes became trained on the floor. It was as if you were rejecting me and deep down I knew that you were. I couldn't give you what you wanted so you left. And now I know how you felt. I feel that need for you every day and night and it hurts. I feel like I'm drowning. I guess you made me into a small piece of who I am. But now I have to say good-bye Liv. You will always be there when I need you, I just have to look into my heart.