Ok, so this my fourth oneshot. Its my first angsty one, so be nice to me in the reviews. I know it sucks.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. If I did, you suckers would never see me cause I'd be rich as hell and not even bother writing fanfiction. But such is not the case.
Kratos stared numbly at his reflection. It had been almost three months since the incident near Iselia. He had long lost the bandages on his forearms; he wished they had never been put there in the first place. If only Yuan hadn't been there, if only he'd succeeded in death, he'd be able to see Anna and Lloyd again.
If only.
There were so many 'if onlys'. If only Kratos had been able to protect her. If only Lloyd had not fallen off the cliff. If only Anna hadn't been wanted by the Desians. If only Kvar hadn't needed her. If only…
He stood up. He could no longer sit in his room and watch his own face, void of any emotion. He left his room and began to wonder around aimlessly through Welgia. After a few minutes, he felt a presence beside him.
"How are you doing?" Yuan asked.
"…"
"I see. Well, here." He stopped Kratos. "It's Anna's locket. I found it where I found you. I fixed the clasp for you."
Kratos took the gold locket. "Thank you."
He looked at Yuan for a second. At one time, they'd been friends, but that was long ago. He didn't feel right asking him a personal question. Still, he had to ask, because it hurt him too much not to.
"Yuan, do you think I…made the right choice?"
Yuan didn't need an explanation. "Why ask me?"
"Because Mithos doesn't know right from wrong anymore and it's a waste of my breath to ask him."
They were silent for a few moments before Yuan spoke. "Do you think you made the right choice?"
"My family is dead. Of course I don't think so."
"What could you have done otherwise?"
"I could've found Lloyd. Saved him, at least."
"But you were too busy protecting him from Desians."
"…"
"Why does it matter if your choice was right? Its over and done with."
"I have to know."
"Would you like my opinion?"
"Yes."
"You didn't make the right choice because there was none."
"What?"
"You heard me. There are no right choices, only wrong ones. If you had let Anna live, Lloyd would've been killed. If you had gone after Lloyd, you would've been captured by the Desians. Nothing you did would've been right, and you'd still be here, listening to my answer to the same question."
Kratos didn't answer at first. Finally, he said, "Thank you, Yuan."
As he walked back to his room, he made a decision. He would help Mithos to reunite the worlds. He would do as Martel had wished. And when it was all over, he'd kill himself.
Kratos' fingers ran over the locket that held the picture. A tiny child and a mother, not realizing that they were three short years away from death. He felt like crying, simply breaking down in front of the angels and sobbing. But he couldn't. Whether it was the Crystal or his own empty, emotionless soul, all Kratos could manage was a single, silent tear that landed on the picture, magnifying it.
Kratos stared at the grave.
Anna? Is it really you?
No. it couldn't be. It had to be a coincidence.
Yes, Kratos, a coincidence that a boy who has the same name as your son, is the same age, has the same mother as your son just happened to be abandoned in exactly the same spot as your son. Coincidence.
He heard laughter on the terrace above him. If that boy was in fact his son, he couldn't come with them. Kratos wouldn't lead him to death. He closed his eyes. Apparantly, he'd already made another wrong choice. A big one. And in this case, he could've made a right choice. Instead, he'd chosen to stand there and cut his own wrists. If only he'd gone down the cliff, he could've found his son. He sighed.
He wouldn't do it again. This time, he'd make the right choice. Whether there be one or not.