Disclaimer: Xian Pu is not my property. Yuka is not my property. I wish Mousse was my property. Actually, there is not a single character in this fic that belongs to me.

That said, it was written 'cause I was toying with this idea for way, way too long. The plot has even been thought of at least once before, I'm sure. If it has, I haven't had the pleasure of reading it. I'm not through with the Manga, and I haven't seen the Anime. I'm working on it! Honest!

I watched Akane walk off with her fiancée. Well, I should say, I watched Akane swipe at Ranma once with her bag and follow him down the street. No, that's not right either! I watched Akane swipe at Ranma with her bag, and he leapt up to the fence, with Akane chasing him, craning up to look. At any rate, they were gone.

And I was left alone on the street. When you're not a martial artist in Nerima, it's never really safe to walk alone with all the Jusenkyo victims hanging around. Oh, and the Kunos. And the creepy old guy that lives with Akane… Happosai. That is his name, right? Not that I mind, they can be pretty entertaining, when they don't come near me. I just have to keep out of their way. Which is usually pretty easy, if I apply myself.

But not today. Nope, there's some kami up there laughing right now.

The girl from the Nekohatten with purple hair bounded past me followed by someone I had seen challenge Ranma at least once before. He might be cursed. I haven't really figured it out yet, Akane's been pretty unclear about it. The girl turned, gave the guy a kick in the jaw, and I saw his glasses skitter across the street. With that, plum-top left. I was standing face to face with a trained martial artist.

His hair swept past his shoulders as he glomped me. I struggled in his grip, trying to get to the glasses on the other side of the alley. The position looked more compromising than it actually was. Really! The worst part was, the more I struggled, the tighter he held. Well, at that point in time. I didn't want to think about what he would do to me. I shut my eyes and braced myself, fire lighting my cheeks. I was falling prey to my worst nightmare…

"Xian Pu." I snapped out of it. I struggled again.

"Xian Pu, I love you." He… he thought I was someone else! If I could only get to those glasses.

During his profession of love to the person Xian Pu, I swept my leg out, feeling for the glasses. Success! In my struggling, I had managed to move us to the other side of the street. My arms, however, were still pinned to my sides.

He began speaking in Chinese. You know, I started taking Chinese a couple years ago. If only there hadn't been that one year in between. I'm sure it was poetry. In fact, I'm absolutely certain it was a poem I had to read in my class. The poem had to do with flowers blooming in all their glory as the sun washes over their petals. Some of the words, they were so… unfamiliar.

That was when I made my second mistake. I looked into his eyes, and said, "Really?" The mandarin word slipped from my lips and I felt the pressure on my arms lessen.

He released me just long enough for me to stoop and shove the glasses in my bag. I should have run. Right then. As soon as he released me. But I didn't. And he grabbed my hands.

"Yes, Xian Pu," he continued in Japanese, much to my relief and dismay.

The look of longing on his face was just like the look I had seen so many times I had seen on Kuno-sempai when talking to Ranma-chan. And I, damned that I am, should have just handed him his glasses and walked off.

But his hands were so kind and gentle.

And I knew, I KNEW better.

But no, I had to keep going. He had just whispered some poetry meant for someone else into my ear, and I enjoyed it.

Flattery meant for someone other than yourself is always sweeter than none at all.

We walked down to the park together. Despite myself knowing that I was probably taking advantage of the poor guy's confusion, I took him to the park and sat him by a tree. He kept speaking in tongues, and I responded with the basics.

What was it I had been told? Smile, and nod. Smile, and nod. Not a word. Not if you can help it. I'd catch a phrase here, only to remember what it meant later. He called the "valley" lovely. Now, You know and I know that the park doesn't have a valley. It has trees, and lots of them. And a river. Maybe, just maybe if you squinted reeeeally hard you'd see some formation of a valley. Of course, you'd have to have terrible eyesight. Like mystery man.

Huh, did I just call him "Mystery Man"? Well, I guess it works better than "Ranma's Rival". That's saved for the kid with the bandana.

I really should have left him by the tree. If there was any time I should have left him after the poem, it would have been by the tree just before he started talking again. But I didn't. It wasn't until the minute I heard the word "love" in Chinese, I snapped out of it again.

I jerked up.

"Xian Pu? What is wrong?"

That clinched it. I couldn't pretend to be someone I wasn't any more. I wouldn't let myself.

"A Lie." I stood. My body was tingling with the urge to stay, to say so much more. Why? Because it would have been so easy. I found myself wondering if Akane had some "Instant spring of Xian Pu" I could borrow. Yeah, 'cause that's reeeeeal plausible.

Mystery Man was on his feet before I could reach into my open bag. He glomped me again.

I fought off his embrace; his guard must have been let down too far. The hurt on his face begged me to explain, although I knew I couldn't do it!

"I- Xian Pu- Can not do this." With that, I fumbled in my bag, grabbed the glasses, and threw them at his chest. I ran around the tree while he reached for my wrist. When he had chased me around three times, I felt my resolve and legs weakening. I slipped against the tree, and let my hand fall next to the glasses. Letting my fingers caress them, the close around them, I saw Mystery Man sit next to me again.

"Why?" He asked it again, only in another language.

"No." I shook my head violently. Then that chick with the purple hair reappeared. Plum-top.

"What stupid Mousse doing?"

That was the only distraction I needed. I fled, throwing the glasses to his friend. I guess she was a friend. I mean, they seem to have a lot to do with each other.

And then I came home.

Silly, isn't it.

You know, I didn't think that having a duck for a pet would be such a good idea. You are fun to have around, though. I mean, it's not like you're a Jusenkyo victim or anything, but I think I know why Akane keeps a pet pig…

Why, D-chan, You're trembling!

All right, Reviews, comments, and criticisms are all welcome. Flames are not. Sorry. If you think Yuka was OOC, or Mousse for that matter, tell me what I could do to change it. Oh, and it was Yuka. Really. I don't really know much about either of Akane's friends, but Yuka seemed like the more obvious choice for me.