Forgot to put the disclaimer in when I first posted this o_O. Just in case it wasn't obvious, I don't own anything except JJ, a product of my own creation and insanity.
Worse Fates
By WarningSign
"I'm soooo hungry," complained JJ.
"Boo-hoo," Mark mocked. "There are worse fates in life."
"Such as?"
"You could be dead."
The blue-haired Diva contemplated this for a moment, and then considered making a snarky comment about how if she were dead she wouldn't be hungry. At that moment, however, her stomach gave a particularly loud growl. She winced and blushed at the same time. Mark raised an eyebrow.
"How long has it been since you last ate?"
"Oh…you know…like…phmphehmrs…," she mumbled indistinctly, sensing a lecture coming.
"Sorry, didn't catch that," Mark said dryly.
"Like eight hours or something," JJ replied and then pouted. Mark sighed.
"You need to eat more. It's not healthy to do that to your body."
"I eat all the time! I'm just…hungry now…"
He looked at her for a moment and then grinned. "We're in Philadelphia. Go get a Philly Cheese Steak!"
"I don't like cheese and I absolutely hate steak. Why would I—WAIT!"
Startled at the sudden outburst, Mark jumped. "What?"
"We're in Philadelphia?"
"That's what I said."
"The last time I was here was the beginning of November last year!"
"So what?" Mark replied, thoroughly confused. JJ, unfortunately, had cackled madly and dashed off down the corridor. Mark sighed and followed her.
He found her walking purposefully down another hallway, staring up at the ceiling. He looked up too, but saw nothing so remarkable as to warrant her full attention.
"What are you doing?" He wondered aloud.
"Counting. Shush."
"Counting what?"
"Ceiling tiles. Shush."
"Why?"
"So I can find the right one! Now shut the hell up or I'll staple your toungue to your teeth!"
Mark frowned at the mental image that provided but said nothing more. After a few more minutes, JJ stopped walking and smiled.
"Eureka!" She looked around at Mark. "Give me a boost, quick!"
"What are you guys doing?" Both of them turned to see Adam walking towards them.
"Don't ask me, I stopped understanding her a long time ago," Mark said. JJ stuck her tongue out at him.
"Whatever. Listen, do you guys know if there's a vending machine around here or something? I'm starving."
"Say no more!" JJ interjected happily. "Just give me a boost and our problems are solved."
"What—,"
"Just do it!" She interrupted. Adam and Mark looked at one another, shrugged, and both interlaced their fingers to form steps. JJ put a foot in each set of hands and hoisted herself up to ceiling level. Without a moment's hesitation, she pushed the tile upwards and thrust her hand into the resulting hole.
"Hurry up, you're not exactly a featherweight!" Mark called up to her.
"Shut it, or you don't get anything!"
JJ seemed to have grabbed on to something that neither of the men could see from their angle. She tugged on the unseen something, and then rummaged around for a few moments. Finally she dropped back down to the ground and held her hands out proudly. She held three Snickers bars.
Adam and Mark merely stared at her for several moments.
"Well, are you hungry or not?" She asked impatiently. Adam shrugged and helped himself to a candy bar. Mark took one too but continued to stare at JJ. The three of them sat down on the ground in the hallway to eat the mysteriously produced candy.
"May I ask why you hid Snickers bars in the ceiling?" Mark asked through a mouthful of chocolate, peanut, and nougat.
"I didn't just hide Snickers bars up there--," JJ began, but before she could finish something fell from the ceiling and landed between the three of them. It looked like a small garbage bag. JJ snatched it and held it so they could see inside. "I hid my entire Halloween stash up there!"
Adam and Mark were lost for words, but JJ didn't care. She began rummaging through the bag for more candy, ignoring them.
Something else fell from the ceiling.
Adam gave a strangled yelp and slid backwards across the floor in shock. Mark jumped to his feet and stood petrified with his back against the wall.
JJ looked up at both of them, and then at the dead body that had just fallen from the ceiling.
"That's not mine, though."
She unwrapped another Snickers bar.
End.