Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to do these things. Don't sue me! I don't own anything! I don't even own a PS2!
I know, I'm bad. But I'm also pretty darn good-looking. So good-looking, in fact, that hordes of fangirls are always chasing me around, jeopardizing my precious face. They throw things at me! Me, Riku, used-to-be master of darkness! And worse, it's girly stuff like ice-pink lipstick and mocha-flavored lip-gloss. Both of which I, personally, find very tacky.
But what makes me even MORE angry, is the fact that I'm playing second-best to that goody-two-shoes Sora.
The kid wears clown shoes, for Pete's sake! He hangs out with GOOFY and DONALD! I got over them when I was, like, 5.
And even though he's such a nerd, people love him! The stupid story's about him! And yeah, sure, they gave me my own level on Chain of Memories, but still, you had to beat the game with SORA to get it! And all I ever did was fight bad-guys! No dramatic cut-scenes, no nothing! I get no respect!
Yet, the fangirls continue to pursue me. I have to admit, it's almost not worth it. They mob me. Every day! Every time I walk out of my house, look out my WINDOW even, they're there! Go mob Sora for once, he's the main character!
So, anyway, you'd figure that if all those ditzy girls love me, then Kairi would too. But nooooo, it's always Sora this, Sora that. 'Oh Riku, did you know Sora...' blah blah blah! Why Sora! I ask you again! WHY SORA!
It's not so much Kairi. She's just the straw that broke the camels back. If only I could break Sora's back...but this brings me to the root of all my problems.
Sora.
That annoying, naive little bumpkin with NO charm whatsoever! So, that led me to plan A.
To get on top of the game, Sora needed to be eliminated. And I don't mean no ticket to Mexico, either.
I mean ELIMINATED. Gone. Buh-bye! So long, sucker!
It was time to put plan A into action. Sora was running toward me at break-neck speed. Too bad it DIDN'T break his neck...
"Riku, I found something!" called Sora in his un-manly voice. If he's a hero, the least he could do is make his voice manly. He sounds like someone's kid brother.
Kairi's told me time and time again, 'That's what makes him so cute!'
Makes me sick.
Sora was getting ever closer. Time to put step 1 into action. I stuck out my foot just as he reached me.
Sora fell flat on his face.
Naturally, I laughed. In fact, I laughed, and laughed, and laughed...then I took a deep breath and laughed some more.
Sora sat up and wiped sand of his face. "Dang it, Riku, that's not funny!"
I put on a blank look. "What's not funny?"
"You tripped me!" said Sora, getting ticked off. Big whoop. Sora? Ticked off? Don't make me laugh.
"No I didn't." I crossed my arms.
"Yes, you did!" Sora had his 'angry face' on. Which is pretty much the same only he's frowning. REAL intimidating there.
"Prove it." Step 1...death by insanity.
"But...I..." Sora stuttered. It was so funny to watch him squirm.
"You what?"
"Tripped..."
"Man, you're so clumsy, Sora." I stood up and walked away. I was smirking as I heard Sora's confused babbling.
What an idiot.
Thus ends chapter 1. I hope you aren't too mad at me for being mean to Sora. I mean, I like him as much as the next person, but I thought it would be funny to-
Riku: Oh, so THAT'S what this is. It's all just a big game to you, isn't it?
Rain: What?
Riku: I TOLD YOU! It's always, Sora this, Sora that.
Rain: I-
Riku: Can't a guy get any respect?
Rain: You-
Riku: I'M the one who stayed behind the door with that annoying "King" Mickey!
Rain: I think it's time to-
Riku: BUT NO! SORA'S STILL THE ONE WHO GETS ALL THE STUPID CREDIT! JUST BECAUSE HE SAVED-
Rain: I think it's time to end this...later!