Written for; Hogwarts Assignment 8 - Psychology. Angst and Marriage.
Warning - Character Death
White Stained With Crimson
A hand, squeezing his shoulder. A murmur of voices around him, hurried whispers of orders and affirmations, questions and ponderings.
He ignores all of it.
"We'll find out who did this, Sirius. I promise you."
The Auror squeezes his shoulder a final time before releasing him. Sirius doesn't move. His eyes remain on the white dress spread around his bride on the bed, her hair haloing her face, her eyes closed, her face peaceful.
She could be sleeping if not for the knife still standing in her stomach, the crimson stain marring the perfect dress she'd spent months choosing on various shopping trips with her friends.
The perfect dress that she'd spent months teasing him about, refusing him even the smallest of hints as to what she would look like on their day.
The Auror's promises mean nothing. What good is a promise when Sirius' beautiful wife is gone?
"Want me to create a diversion so you can make a run for it?" James asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
Sirius punched him in the arm none too gently for the suggestion then shook his head. "Of course not. If I've ever been sure of anything, it's Marlene."
"You're more sure of her than you were when we played that prank on the Slytherins?" James asked, pressing a hand to his heart dramatically. "I'm shocked!"
Sirius raised his eyebrow. "Which one?"
"All of them," James replied with a shrug. "Any of them. I don't know mate, it's weird, seeing you be serious."
"I'm always Sirius."
Groaning, James shook his head. "Clearly I was wrong. You haven't grown up at all."
Sirius shrugged his shoulders cheerfully. "I'm getting married - not dying."
Before James could reply, the first bars of the wedding march, and Sirius turned to see the most glorious sight he'd ever laid eyes on.
White. Bright. Nervous smile. Sparkling eyes. Pink flowers.
He smiled, tears welling in his eyes. He hadn't realised how much he'd feared her leaving him at the altar until he saw her walking towards him.
Coffins. Clothes. Flowers. Hymms.
Sirius threw the book away, slumping on the sofa, a whiskey bottle held in a tightly gripped fist. How was he supposed to plan a funeral when he still had vivid memories of sitting in the same place, being shown various things for the wedding by an excited Marlene?
He didn't care if she was buried in dark or light wood. She shouldn't be being buried at all.
He didn't care what she wore. She looked stunning in everything, but he wouldn't be dressing his Marlene. She wasn't his wife anymore.
How could a corpse compare to the vivacious bundle of energy in his memories?
Why did flowers matter? Would Marlene care if there were lilies or roses? Would she be waiting to beat him up when he met her again, if he didn't have the right carnations at her graveside?
Probably. Sirius snorted at the thought. In truth, that sounded exactly like his lovely wife. The snort soon turned to a sob though, and tears poured down his face unchecked.
He wondered, idly, how he still had water to cry, with the amount that had fallen since he'd found…
As white stained by crimson filled his mind once more, he threw the bottle at the wall, a scream of pain and rage leaving him as he curled up into a tight ball, trying futilely to protect himself from more pain.
"I take thee, Marlene McKinnon…"
Sirius repeated his vows solemnly, meaning every word as he spoke them, a small smile on his face as he kept eye contact with Marlene.
She cried silently, prettily even, and he longed to wipe away the tears from her face. Instead he kept her hands in his own, reciting words that would bind him to the love of his life.
When it was her turn, she stumbled briefly over his name, making their friends and family chuckle as a blush spread across her cheeks.
Sirius had to bite his lip to stop a cheeky comment from falling out, knowing it would likely be frowned upon for him to ask his bride who she'd been planning to marry.
"Til death do us part…"
He'd had no idea that it would be only hours later.
"Marlene…" Sirius choked on her name, pulling at the tie around his neck. "Marlene is… was the most precious person in the world. She's… She was bright and bubbly and fiery and… You all knew her. I don't need to tell you what she was like. I don't need to tell you that the world is a darker place without her."
Sirius shook his head, hands gripping the stand he stood behind. The closed coffin stood beside him, a picture of his wife resting on top.
"I don't need to tell you that it wasn't fair for her to have been taken from us. From me. A future, our future, snatched away by some cowardly murderer who -"
He broke off again. The aurors still hadn't found out who'd killed her, the lack of evidence was causing them all kinds of problems. Sirius had thought about searching out the truth himself, but what was the point? In the end, finding the person who killed her wouldn't bring her back to life.
His chest hurt, his heart was being buried in the ground, and he didn't have the energy to fight for it anymore. He didn't want to be anywhere that she wasn't.
"I don't need to tell anyone that nothing will ever be the same," he whispered, his hand moving of its own volition to rest on the wooden box. "I don't need to tell any of you that she's never coming back. That we… that I have to live without half of my soul."
His legs gave out without his notice and he sunk to the ground. His entire body shook, wracked with grief. James reached him first, wrapping him up in a tight embrace.
"We'll get you through this, Padfoot."
Sirius shook his head, but didn't fight to get away. Flashes of the wedding passed unbidden through his mind, countless memories of Marlene, merging together to fill up every space in his mind with an image of her, images he'd never be able to get rid of.
Not that he'd want to. This would be his punishment for having failed her.
He'd never have believed, when he woke up on the happiest day of his life, that a week later he'd be waking up to the worst.
As his tears soaked James' shirt, and his best friend murmured constantly in his ear, comforting words that meant nothing, Sirius felt his heart give up.
It still beat in his chest, still kept the blood circulating through his body, still kept him alive, but he knew its most important function was broken. He'd never love another.