Monopoly
By Otaku no Baka
Originally was going to finish chapters to one of my other stories for the birthdays of our favorite nations, but Hearthem gave me this idea and oh god I had to do it. The idea of Ivan as the monopoly man had me rolling.
So I was trying to do this on Canada's and America's b-day but it didn't come out right -.-; I wanted to totally give this to my beta but I am going to give my grammar beta two chapters when I do finish them so beware of my crappy grammar. (Sorry guys!) I didn't want to overwhelm her .
Pairings are England/Japan, Russiamerica, Matt/Kat, and Some CanadaRussiaAmerica (yes you read that right.) Also hints of Spain and Romano as well as France and England. This also has cursing and suggestive hints.
I don't own Hetalia and happy birthday America and what's his name!
The nations were conducting a summit meeting but due to the protestors as well as the riotsthey were temporary in lock down within their own building. While the police and their bosses smoothed things over, the countries had nothing to do in the mean time.
America, being America, found a board game and suggested they all play. Unfortunately Russia goaded the blond on and the brutal argument afterward that resulted in chairs being thrown and Iggy having to bring out his magic stick. Now the current nations were all in the room playing for various thing in the Hear and Now World Edition of Monopoly.
More like whoever was bankrupted on said nation property was annexed and taken over, the only exception being if you lose on super tax, etc. EVERYONE in the room jumped in on this opportunity. England blamed America once again for his stupidity and being manipulated by Ivan. (Despite how the British nation was the first to say yes to this idea.)
Since there was only eight pieces all the nations had to split up into teams, but the major issue was who was going to be the banker. China and America jumped at the idea first, which resulted in more chairs being thrown and somehow a couch crashing through two rooms.
Damn Al and his strength!
At the end Switzerland along with Austria were the bankers and the regulators so that the other nations would not cheat. Although knowing France, Spain, Prussia, and possible Russia and America, it would be much foul play and panhandling going on anyway. This game was serious business.
So the teams were the North American brothers, Russia and his sister, China and Hong Kong, Poland and Liet, England and Japan, France and Spain, Turkey and Greece, and the Italy Brothers. Prussia somehow squeezed himself in much to Germany's discord and the whole Bad Touch Trio were playing for it all.
"This is going to be fun Mattie!" America quickly took up the fries playing piece without listening to his brother protest.
"Yeah...I guess so Al." He sighed and hoped that they could win; the look on the three pervert nation's faces as well as Ivan was scaring the pancakes out of him.
After the money was distributed and the pieces all in the right hands, the game quickly started. America face faulted at how not only did he have one city in his own board game, but he was between England and Australia.
"The hell is wrong with your bloody country!" England noticed it too but part of him was smirking because Alfred was in the middle and not himself, which meant that he was on top in that threesome.
Canada smiled behind his hand because he had three cities on the board with China, while Germany and Prussia frowned at the fact that they were not on the board at all.
America was the first to protest when Ivan ended up having the first turn. "You cheated you commie!"
"Да how would I cheat when the game just started and how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? The Cold War is over and my nation is the same as yours you pig."
"What about those spies that we found here in the US of A then!"
This resulted in another argument. "Shut up! I wanna kick your asses so I can have all of USA and Russia to like myself!" Poland would love to see both stupid superpowers in maid outfits catering to him and painting his house.
The turn order was: Russia team first, Poland team second, China team third, England team fourth, Italy team fifth, Gree/Turk team sixth, Bad touch Trio seventh, and North America team dead last.
Alfred pouted and put his hands in his face as he watched everyone go around the board before his turn; they decided to go around once before buying.
The loud blond was lucky and managed to roll doubles on his first turn and two sixes on his second. He whoops as him and his brother were the first to get around the board. "Take that you commie!" America laughed at Russia, who was trying really hard not to smack the nation in the face.
So the buying went away; all the players trying to get a monopoly and not having to deal with trading with the other nation-tans. America groaned since he almost had all the red pieces but London, (which Japan managed to get,) and all the green pieces but the city of Jerusalem, which Ukraine manage to get.
Poland was the first to get a monopoly but it was the cheapest color in the whole game. "Like, how the heck is my city the worse on the board?"
"I don't know Feliks." Toris was on edge because the tension was rising between the nations. China was grumbling on how he couldn't get any of his cities on the board and they all went to some other idiot country.
The only one left was Montreal and Riga, the equivalent of Boardwalk and Park Place. Ivan had a field day with that one and pointed out to his sister how ironic Riga was the most expensive city on the block.
Everyone held their breathes; it's been like this when a team would pass by the dark colored blue spaces. America was lucky that the Bad Touch Trio already passed it, with much protest from Gilbert, and that Greece was currently in jail, sleeping. Ivan was on the green so there was no way he could...
"Het, I rolled two fours."
"..." It was just a coincidence just a coincidence. So he managed to get Mattie's property no big deal...wait...he rolled...
Ivan Braginiski rolled FUCKING snake eyes and bought both of them. America wanted to throw the board across the room and Japan groaned.
"We should have picked that Ultraman edition of this game England-san..." Kiku was considering trading with his brother his capital for the remaining orange pieces. They needed a monopoly bad before Russia started to buy houses.
"Oh Vanya you have the highest property! Well done!" Katyusha smiled and hugged her brother, who was still shocked. He had the highest so he could rape them all with his hotels.
Russia enjoyed the sound of that and laughed; the noise coming out very creepy and joyful. His sister laughed as well and China reconsidered his tough no holds dealings. "Hell with this aru I want to win! You have a deal Kiku!"
After much dealing, bargaining, and threats, the nations managed to get something or another. All the teams had at least one monopoly, while Alfred and Matthew had the phone and internet utilities. The Trio team had two airports and Gree/Turk had the other two.
Now it was who would last the longest and who would destroy Russia first. Ivan wasn't going to be broke any time soon but everyone was too stubborn to team together to take down the massive nation. The North America brothers did have the highest property next to the trio of France/Spain/Prussia and Al rubbed it every time he bought houses that he had Belgrade now.
"So a part of me is a part of you now Да?" The way the words rolled off Ivan's tongue made Alfred blush and sit back down next to his brother quickly.
"Why the hell do you keep going to jail?" Turkey mumbled as once again their gym shoe was back in the jail spot. "We have the purple pieces and some houses but we can't expand because of your atrocious dice rolling!"
Herc shrugged and yawned. "You're the one who can't see to land on the right spaces; how many times did we hit America's property?"
The two started a semi silent argument while Feliciano landed on community chest. "Ve~ brother I got a more money!" He showed off his card to collect another salary fee and Lovino shrugged.
"It still means we have a snowball's chance in hell to win." Somehow they ended up with the red property, which wasn't bad, but they had to give up almost half of their cash to America, which was bad.
"Can I have the money Austria and Swiss-san?" Vash was going to protest until Roderick stepped in.
"Yes since you actually landed on this without cheating." The gun slinging man thought that Austria just had a soft spot for the young man and grumbled. "You're been holding out the cash all game Vash." A hushed whisper in his ear and Switzerland jumped, blushing.
It was a stalemate until Poland landed on Russia's hotels and he counted his money, once, then twice. "Dammit Liet, do we have enough to like pay off the bastard?"
"We are missing...ten dollars in world funding."
Ivan and Katyusha started to laugh and the two shivered. "Oh god! Like only ten dollars!" He didn't want to beg the other nations though.
America thought about stepping in to be the hero but then if he helped out would they survive the next attack? They had a long way to go around the board to his property and he didn't want to miss out. "Hey Austria can I give them ten dollars?"
"I guess so. It doesn't say in the rulebook that you cannot just trade money after all."
America reached into their salary pile and threw Feliks the rest of the cash he needed. The man whooped and celebrated as he once again rose from the ashes...
To have Lithuania land their coffee mug right on the tax space.
"Dammit Liet! Like we are dead now!" Even after passing go they still didn't have enough to pay off the tax. Signing in defeat, they didn't feel as bad since technically they didn't land on any countries' property and lose, just the board tax.
So all of their property was auctioned off, with the Slavic team winning at the end since Ivan had the most money in the game currently. Yao was fuming because of all things Russia was winning with blind ass luck. He had the second largest pile of money, from landing on the 'free parking' space and getting all the tax/jail funding, constantly.
"Oui! We have to band together to win this! Image Alfred as our little pet!" Spain was too busy daydreaming and drooling over the Italian brothers serving him lemonade in skimpy linguine.
"Yeah that's it, massage your boss right there."
"Come on Ant snap out of it! We haven't won yet! We have to go against..." Gilbert gulped. "Against Russia."
All three men shivered at the aura that seemed to radiate from the Slavic team. Ukraine was into this as well since this was a way to pay off her gas bill and have friends to help her whenever she needed.
"Alright then! Awesome trio ho!" Gilbird cheeped and they put their hands together, determined to win now.
How the heck did they end up losing next?
Alfred laughed as he collected the yellow properties along with the railroads. He was going to totally beat that villain now!
The game was down to only four teams now. After landing in jail so many times and the blue properties, Greece forfeited much to Turkey's rage. "I rather give myself to Kiku-san than anyone else." The other man had to agree.
"Brother, Doitsu help me!" Italy sobbed and cried into his brother's shoulder as Ivan and Ukraine started to chuckle, a dark aura surrounding them as they collected from the losing team. The two nations cringed and tried to hide.
"Nooooo don't rape us!" Romano wanted to protect his brother but oh god help them! Germany was torn between rushing in there or getting his butt kicked by a pipe as well as...assets.
'Fuck this is bad.' America frowned; they weren't doing good, even with his brother's suggestions, because god he did listen but he just happen to ignore him at times. They had two high monopolies but almost no cash to speak of. China on the other hand had almost all the cash but only one monopoly, compared to the monster that was the Russian Federation.
"I don't think we are going to make it Yao."
"Hush Hong Kong! You have been getting pass Go from Chance and I keep landing on free parking! We managed to avoid Russia so far aru!" China gripped his money as he focused on the board.
The other Chinese nation sighed and shook his head. "We only have one collection and we have to avoid Japan now as well as America."
"We are going to make it aru so shut up aru!" Yao rolled and smirked. "See we passed America's yellow property." He started at the position of his airplane that landed right on jail.
"Dammit!"
"England-san we are doing alright I guess. If we can get Alfred-san to land on our monopoly then we might be able to bring down his hotels."
"Bollocks! He has...what's his name with him so it won't be that easy."
"Canada!" Matthew shook a fist at the British man. "Al let's beat them first before going after Russia!" The blond blinked at his brother's angry look and aura.
"...Who are you again?"
He face faulted and fell over. "I'm your brother!"
"Oh yeah!" America nodded. "It shouldn't be hard because I'm awesome!" His turn to roll the dice, he threw them on the board lightly. "See? We landed on Go! Heroes don't give up!"
The game went on, with cash going back and forth, until Canada's team landed in jail for the first time throughout the whole game.
"Ahhhh man." Alfred pouted and leaned on his brother. He wasn't bored for long when he watched as how England landed right on Ivan's highest hotel. "Ahahahahha!"
"You...YOU CHEATED! You manipulated the dice didn't you!" He pointed to his former colony.
"Not my fault you suck at rolling Iggy!" The Brit ran over and started to choke the man.
"Do...we have enough to pay them off?" Arthur turned to his partner and groaned; letting the other nation go.
"Yes but we would have no houses and no hotels to speak of, as well as no revenue." Kiku wanted to cry. He didn't want to surrender to his brother China but he didn't want to be overrun by Ivan, that radioactive vodka fuel beast. He was like Sadako...worse even. The idea of Russia eating his homeland food and banning salt almost made the Asian nation faint.
Too prideful to beg, Japan and England was due to their fate when they luckily landed on the super tax and the property was auctioned off.
America pouted as he watched the heated bidding go between Russia and China.
"100,000!"
"200,000!"
"200,001!"
Ukraine sent Yao a glare that was worthy of her sibling's and the man whimpered.
"200,002 Да~"
"Going once...twice..." Austria peered at both of the nations; he shrugged at the still creeping out China. "Sold!"
Hong Kong sweat-dropped as Katyusha jumped up and down,bouncing. "Yay я виграв брат!"
So the rest of the property was split between China and Russia's respective teams, with Ivan getting another monopoly to his pot.
America and Matt licked their lips; grumbling. It looked like they would either loose to Ivan or Yao. Both nations didn't feel for such a notion. Alfred especially, he recalled what he said he would do if he lost to Russia.
The blond shivered and tried to roll with his usual vigor. Thankfully enough, Japan's corner was broken up by the other two and he only had to deal with red and that dreadful dark blue corner.
America was on edge, he just had to roll to land either between the two hell properties or on his own. He was the hero he could do this he could...
"Bloody fucking hell fries and for shitting on the...!" Another stream of curses and America was stomping like a kid. Dammit he already landed on Ivan's property once so what the hell!
"Now now Америка you know what you have to do." Both blond brothers shivered, heads bowed as Alfred counted up the money. They barely had enough to pay it all off, barely.
The north American nation's luck ran out after that; for some reason China kept passing their property and after landing in jail more times, ('I shouldn't be in prison it isn't awesome!') America once again ended up on Ivan's highest piece.
"I...I'm sorry Mattie!" America sobbed and Canada stared, mouth open.
"What...What's going to happen to us now?" He almost jumped as an arm circled his waist.
"Америка you remember our deal Да?" Alfred wanted to cry as he felt Ivan's breath on his ear. The ashen haired man was hugging both of the twins close to him like a pimp.
"Noooo nooo please spare my brother! Dammit just take me!"
Matthew turned to his brother. "What...else did you tell Russia Al?"
America's protest was cut off when Ivan pulled on his ahoge. "That if I beat the both of you that me and my dear sister could do whatever we want to your countries and you as well."
Matthew's mouth dropped comically. "Al...Al..YOU DICK! I didn't want to be involved in this in the first place!" He punched his brother in the face and the two rolled around on the floor, America sobbing and Canada enraged.
They heard the kolkolkolkol and froze. Alfred cried and whimpered while Mattie was still cursing and sobbing himself. "Francis help us!"
France was going to step in but England shook his head. "You have to deal with it like the rest of us like men!" The British nation was being a hypocrite considering that he got off easy.
The two blonds screamed as they were dragged away from the room by Russia and a cooing Kat, "Oh but Matvey it's not that bad..." 'This is wonderful! Now Matvey can live with me and my gas bill will be paid off!' Katyusha was so happy to be playing with her brother and that she could see him anytime she wanted when everyone became one with him.
"..." Yao was frozen and Hong Kong coughed. "Is the game over now?"
A hour and much screaming later, Ivan and Katyusha came back, the older woman blushing and the nation looking smug.
America had no nothing but a Russian nation flag t-shirt, trying to cover up his vital regions. His whole face was flushed and he had obvious marks on his neckline and face. He was appearing just like Latvia, shaking and crying, a scowl on his face.
Matthew on the other hand had an Ukraine t-shirt and shorts; his new 'captors' nicer to him than his brother. Russia molested and tortured Al on purpose; if he didn't try to bite the man and not stand face then he wouldn't have been teased to the point that his clothes were, ahem, ruined.
Canada didn't feel too bad about being 'annexed' though; Katyusha was such a nice pillow.
"Let's continued the game Да?"
The rest of the game was silent, except for Canada's light snores and America mumbling. "Пожалуйста Vanya." It was growled/whispered out; Ivan felt amused that the blond sunflower was trying to use his native language. "I want some pants; someone is going to notice it..."
"Het." The only one left was China, who would be the hardest to take down. He had a cash flow going that looked like it wouldn't be stopped but Russia had almost the whole board to himself.
The game went back and forth, with Yao occasionally landing on his major hotel. He considered trading with the man so he could have a better chance to win until their bosses came in.
"The coast is clear and you guys can...what are you doing?" The countries' bosses along with U.N. peered at the nations in the room.
"Aru I guess this game is done, even though it resulted in a stalemate." China pouted, he really wanted to win and become the new world order.
"Да but I still had fun. Come on North America and Italy brothers." Putting on a black top hat as well as a cane and black bow tie, Russia dragged the protesting America who was trying to get his boss to bail him out.
"You know this isn't a bad idea, merging with Russia. I have to talk to Ivan's boss about it as well as Canada's boss but they should agree with me."
"Noooooo!" The blond twins moaned.
"This isn't cool, this is that stupid red's fault!" His hair curl was pulled and America shut up.
"You want me to take care of your 'problem' or not?" Alfred felt Ivan lean in close and whisper in his ear. He shivered as Ivan spoke to him in Russia with dirty promises.
"Come on Matevy! I promise to bake you some desserts when we get back!" Matthew didn't mind the merger as much as Al but that's because the ashen haired man and his sister were sweet on him. His brother was paying back in full all the tension, name calling, stupidity, and cock-blocking from the Cold War in full.
"Doitsu HELP US!"
"You potato bastard you better rescue us!" The brothers were dragged along with their bosses out the door.
"England-san are you going to just stand there and do nothing?"
Iggy shook his head. "No I'm playing to do something later." He turned to Germany. "You want to help bail both of those fools out?"
Ludwig sighed and Prussia whooped; once again he had to save Italy by doing something he was going to regret later on.
Notes:
The properties are here: http: / www. worldofmonopoly. co. uk/ world /world/2008/images/properties. jpg
Sadako is from the Ring, who was basically a spirit that came out of the tv and killed people in seven days. The American and Japanese versions were different.
Пожалуйста: please (Bah sorry if this is wrong Tanya-san)
Yay я виграв брат!: Yay I won brother! (This looks...Russian but it's suppose to be Kat's language -.-;)
So far the most this is going to have is this and maybe an omake so it's not another full blown series ^^;