Note: Out of respect for Isayama-sensei's choice to make Hange's character gender neutral, all pronouns in reference to this character will be the non-gender-specific "they".

Note 2: Smex starts at Chapter 3. :)

Chapter One

Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman had started their day in one of the government offices in the inner ring. They were walking down a hall when a nobleman appeared at the other end of it and Erwin suddenly went stiff. Without warning, he grabbed Levi's arm.

"Kiss me," Erwin said suddenly.

Levi raised one thin eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Eyes surreptitiously fixed on the nobleman, Erwin pushed Levi back against the nearest wall, towering over him with his immense, Nordic frame. "Too late to explain. I'm sorry about this," Erwin said.

Levi's eyes narrowed to dark slits as he glared up at his superior. "Are you just talking out of your ass, you conceited piece of-"

But at that moment, Erwin's hand found his cheek and tilted his head back slightly. Then, before Levi could even finish his curse, Erwin claimed his lips in a sudden and overpowering kiss. Levi froze in shock, eyes wide open. Wait…what?

Erwin was definitely kissing him, this was happening. To his disbelief, aside from the simple fact that Erwin was an amazing kisser, easily the best Levi had ever encountered, the large man's hand then crept around the small of his back and pulled his petit frame closer. The bastard, he was getting carried away.

The kiss went on for what seemed like hours, but was in fact only a few seconds. In that time, Levi noticed the nobleman at the end of the hall making a face of barely concealed rage, then turning on his heel and stomping off. The disbelieving frown on Levi's face deepened, but he was simply too shocked for a time to do anything in response.

Erwin gently broke away, and glanced toward where the nobleman had been standing. "He saw, right?"

"Erwin."

"Yeah?"

Levi took a breath in as he considered his words. "You knew this was coming."

Erwin sighed and nodded. "Go ahead."

Without a hint of remorse, Levi slammed the heel of his boot into Erwin's instep. Erwin gritted his teeth and his face was briefly a mask of pain, but to his credit he made no noise. He then sighed and stepped back and with that, he and Levi began walking down the corridor again.

"So? Am I going to get some kind of explanation for that shit you pulled just now?" Levi demanded with a murderous expression.

Erwin's mouth tensed somewhat as if he were hesitant to reply. "Did you notice the man who left?"

"The nobleman?"

"Mm," Erwin agreed. "Lord Hesse. I, uh…I've been having some difficulty with him. I'm not sure the details would interest you, but suffice it to say, you did me a big favor just now."

The dark rage in Levi's eyes deepened. "You violate me and that's all you have to say for yourself?"

To his surprise, when he glanced up at the huge blond, his face held an unusual note of uncertainty. Actually, it was more than unusual. Levi could count on one hand the number of times that Erwin Smith had ever been unsure about anything. Was it possible he was in real trouble?

At length, Erwin stopped walking and glanced down at him. Levi then had another thing to be surprised about as his own heart skipped a beat momentarily. "Well, when you put it like that, I suppose you're right. I'm…trying to avoid a marriage to the young Lady Hesse."

Levi had to recoil a bit at that. "Some poor lady wants to marry you?"

Erwin covered his mouth politely with a short laugh, then started walking again and Levi followed. "It wasn't her choice, but her father's. He's the one I need to watch out for."

"Hmph," Levi commented. "So will you be pulling a stunt like that if he turns up again?"

"Hopefully once was enough, but once again I apologize," Erwin said, solemnly.

Levi glanced skyward for a time in thought. "If not, I could always chop your balls off. That would solve both our problems."

Erwin closed his eyes with an exasperated sigh. "Nice thought, but if it's all the same, let's make that plan b."

Levi decided that was reasonable enough and simply kept pace with his inscrutable commanding officer for a while. He really had a hard time picturing Erwin married. It was like picturing Hange suddenly not being weird, it just didn't compute. Even so, with the human population as it was, it was irresponsible of talented people not to marry and produce a kid or two. But what sort of woman would be suitable for Erwin Smith? Levi wondered. As he did, he ignored a dull ache that started in his chest.

At length Levi asked casually, "So you have some objection to marriage in general? Or something about her?"

"Neither, I'm afraid. It seems silly, but the truth is that my affections lie elsewhere. I'm sure the person in question could care less about my marital status, but still I wouldn't feel right."

Levi stared up at the giant blond, feeling like the floor had just fallen out from under his feet. Erwin? In love? He didn't realize as he kept up a long and persistent stare, his mouth hanging open as they walked.

Erwin obviously noticed his stare but politely refrained from looking annoyed. "There's no need to be quite that surprised," he said calmly.

"You? In…love?" Levi repeated.

"I'm afraid so."

"What meter class?"

"Funny," Erwin muttered, "but it's a human I was referring to."

Though it would take him a while to realize it, it was at this point that Levi's chest started to feel tight, not just achy. He cast his gaze on the ground, strangely not in the mood to joke anymore. To think of Erwin not merely getting married, but also being in love…Levi couldn't account for this feeling at first, but he felt somehow betrayed by this information. But why? Just because he hadn't told him? There was plenty Erwin never shared with Levi and even more Levi didn't share with him. It had never been an issue until now.

"For how long?" Levi found himself asking, looking away to aid the impression that he didn't actually care about the answer.

Erwin shrugged. "A few years now."

"Years?!" Levi nearly shouted. However at that moment another official passed by them and he hastily looked away again, lowering his volume when he next spoke. "You've been in love with the same person for years? Never mind, that does sound like you. But seriously, how can you love someone for years and not do anything about it?"

Erwin merely closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "It wouldn't matter. That person is out of reach. I'm resigned to the fact, and I'm not unhappy with the current situation. As long as I don't have to swear my life to another."

The dull pain in Levi's chest was increasing the more they talked. He really didn't like the idea that Erwin had been pining over someone for so long, without even mentioning it before. Erwin's resolve was really something else. Once again, his chest gave a sharp twinge.

"Moron," Levi muttered. "If everyone took marriage as seriously as you do, the human race would die out."

Erwin merely laughed again.

And for a time, that was the end of that topic. Levi didn't quite have the nerve to bring it up again. Normally he tried to be supportive of Erwin, knowing that he was probably the most valuable human being alive and didn't need any extra worries. But that usual sense of charity somehow vanished when it came to the subject of love. What was this sudden weakness in his heart?

More importantly, if Erwin had been in love with the same woman for years, just how did he get so good at kissing?

A few days passed after that during which Levi hardly saw his commander. That was not so unusual, Erwin often had business he dealt with alone in the inner ring, sometimes taking days at a time. And aside from the odd twinge of pain near his heart, Levi was able to keep his mind on other things.

Then a day came when the Survey Corps was called upon for a brief mission outside the wall. It was just another one of Hange's mad attempts at testing non-lethal anti-titan weapons, for live capture. A cannon of some kind it seemed, but Levi had little interest. Since it was just for testing, Erwin only assigned four squads, including Levi's and Hange's. The weather was unusually good for this time of year, so they decided to capitalize on that and try and be out and back within a couple of hours.

As the gates opened, they rode out and took up their formation protecting the two carriages in the center, carrying the cannons. The testing itself proved relatively uneventful, mostly consisting of Hange freaking out with excitement when they found a titan and then getting very disappointed when they discovered a fault which prevented live capture on that occasion. They were almost finished when suddenly clouds began to roll in.

Miké Zacharius rode over at once. "Erwin. It's rain, we've got minutes."

Erwin nodded. "Prepare to retreat!" he shouted over the sound of intermittent chatter, clanking gear and restless horses.

"Aww, I hardly got anything done!" Hange complained, currently standing in the rapidly dissolving remains of a titan they accidentally killed.

"Buntai-chō, we have to go!" said one of their subordinates, bringing over their horse.

The scientist made a noise of disappointment, but reluctantly got on. Thus, they headed back for the wall. The rain hit them when they were still over a mile out. Hange looked to the sky with a sigh, holding out a hand to catch the droplets.

"Bad timing," they muttered.

"Stay together!" Erwin's huge and terrifying voice bellowed over the rain and the pounding of hooves.

They were going all right, but suddenly approached a blind hill. All the hearts of the members of the Survey Corps collectively halted, like the calm before a storm. Instinctively, they all knew how dangerous this was and most felt that the worst case scenario was about to happen. They crested the hill.

An aberrant titan – ten meter class – appeared at the base of the hill, less than a hundred feet from where they were racing down toward it. Some less courageous soldiers screamed and the panicked party was forced to separate into two groups to skirt around it. One group had the majority of the soldiers in it, the other was dangerously small. The titan, who had the appearance of a fat little boy with drool coming out of his mouth, ran at them and swung out wildly toward the closest rider. Remarkably, he missed. The two parties passed him on either side as he skidded to a halt. His stupid face whirled to stare at them. He seemed to contemplate for a moment – though of course there was little actual thought going on – before he elected to chase after the smaller group.

Unfortunately, Erwin was in it. Levi's heart lurched as Erwin and only four other soldiers were chased far off course, away from the wall, away from any kind of cover. Levi cursed. He yanked his horse's reigns and turned to follow them without thinking.

Erwin spotted this and waved him off angrily. "No, Levi! Lead them back! We'll follow!"

Levi gritted his teeth, pulling back his reigns to stop. He had never disobeyed Erwin before, but his body was screaming at him to move. As he watched, the titan easily scooped up two of the soldiers riding behind Erwin at once and forced them screaming into its mouth. It crunched for a moment then raced after the remaining three.

Levi knew Erwin was good, but there was never any guarantee. The slightest mistake and-

Suddenly, the titan swung out its arm and knocked two of the remaining soldiers off their horses. Erwin was one of them. The Commander's body slammed into the earth, hard, and tumbled a few meters before stopping. Levi could see blood streaking rapidly down his head. He was unconscious.

The titan squatted down to pick up the other downed soldier, and that was all Levi could take. He kicked his horse's flanks and shot off toward them. Right behind him was Miké, and without even discussing it, they both headed straight for its ankles, severing the Achilles tendons almost simultaneously.

The titan swayed for a moment. Then it toppled onto its face, crushing the legs of the soldier still in its mouth. Fortunately, the man was already dead. Levi then fired his grappling hook into the back of the monster's head, and while it struggled to rise, he let out a feral growl and sliced a huge chunk from its neck.

The creature died instantly and its head thudded back to the earth. Levi ignored his horse, though fortunately Miké thought to grab the reigns, and ran over to Erwin. He first turned him over and checked to make sure he was still breathing, then took precious moments to examine the bloody gash on his head.

The other straggler rode back. "Dancho!" he cried in panic.

"Get back to the formation!" Levi snarled, causing the poor man to jump. The soldier quickly nodded and obeyed, kicking his horse's flanks to rejoin the main group.

Miké rode over with Levi's horse in tow. "Levi, how is he?"

Levi nodded to indicate he was still alive. "His horse is dead. Help me."

The squad leader jumped down and helped Levi lift Erwin's large body onto Levi's horse. Levi jumped on behind to hold and steady Erwin in his arms, just managing to grip the reigns around his huge body. Then he kicked the beast's flanks again, urging every ounce of speed he could get back toward the wall.

They managed to reach it without further incident, and Levi kept riding without stopping to get to the nearest hospital, shouting behind him at Miké to make sure he followed him. When they got there, Levi kicked the military doctor's door down while Miké carried Erwin inside. They got him into a bed, and the doctor soon told them Erwin showed no signs of a concussion, but they would have to wait until he woke to be sure.

Levi sat himself down at Erwin's bedside and refused to be moved. Miké seemed to gather that Levi wasn't his usual self, but said nothing. He merely sniffed once, then claimed he would leave the situation to Levi and return to his duties. Levi ignored him.

For hours, he sat and waited, hardly moving. Now and then he bounced his foot, or rapped a finger rapidly against his knee, all the while scowling like a demon. The nurses were very disturbed and asked several times if they should call the military police.

The sun was now starting to set, and Levi was now alone with Erwin, who still slept peacefully with a bloody bandage around his head. Levi's anxiety had been on a steady rise every moment since he saw Erwin fall, so much so that he almost felt tearful. This was so unlike him. He knew that, but it didn't change anything. The only thought in his head at that moment was that Erwin had to live. If he died, he'd fucking kill him.

Finally, with the last hint of sun still shining over the wall, Erwin's eyes fluttered open. Levi felt massive relief flood through his chest, and without thinking he grasped Erwin's shoulder, lowering his head to hide the extreme emotion that was surely showing on his face. He noticed Erwin's face turn toward him.

To his shock, a large, rough hand reached up and gently held his cheek. Levi stared at Erwin. The commander seemed a little woozy still, but he looked at Levi as if he was seeing salvation itself. His eyes were so gentle then, more so than Levi had ever seen them. He found himself enraptured by that sweet expression, unable to look away.

"Thank God," Erwin murmured softly. Then came a much bigger shock. He rose up a little from his bed and simultaneously pulled Levi a little closer. He trapped Levi's lips in the softest of kisses. This time, Erwin's kiss was slow and searching, his touch barely more than a butterfly's wing but yearning with every breath. It was a kiss of love, the deepest and most sincere Levi had ever felt. Levi could hardly move, but he felt himself tearing up again, totally baffled by what was happening.

Eventually, Erwin slipped back into bed, and his eyes closed again as he returned to sleep. Levi sat motionless for many long moments. Eventually, he raised a shaking hand to touch the lips that Erwin had touched so gently. For perhaps the first time in his life, his cheeks filled with color as his heart pounded out the rhythm of another person's name.

But then, because he couldn't help himself, that gentle emotion quickly turned to frustration, then confusion, and finally his fallback option of murderous anger.

"What the fuck?!" then echoed through the hospital.