They'd done this many times before. It was a game of sorts, though nothing like what they had played as kids. The rough rope bit into his wrists as his arms were pulled above him and back slightly, just enough to stretch his muscles. Little slack on the rope meant he could barely rest his weight on his knees. He wasn't allowed to stand. This level of submission was a surprise to both when it had first come up. It was trust more than anything else that allowed him to accept from his brother the treatment he craved. With anyone else…he banished the thought and the memory it brought, shoving it to the back of his mind. This wasn't the time.
Hands slid down his arms, tracing the fine white lines of healing scars. In his mind's eye, he saw the glint of the sword; the way his blood had clung and dripped from its sharp edge. A shudder ran through him and he again fought back the memory. His partner didn't stop, hands continuing to explore him, and he felt a moment's relief. The shudder had been taken as a natural reaction to what they were doing.
Wet warmth on the back of his neck surprised him. He gasped against the sensations, fighting his bonds more from habit than a desire to be free. The resistance of the rope was at once a blessing and a curse. His body still remembered the burning pain from the last time he'd been restricted and it trembled as his heart raced. Again, he fought it back. He wanted this and it had nothing to do with-
A finger pressed against his slit, surprising him so his hips jerked forward instinctively. Moaning, he fought against the urge to drop, knowing it was useless. Those fingers knew him too well, understood him, and were relentless in their teasing until his cock was safely wrapped in them. He lost himself in the pleasure, knowing the pain he sought was soon to follow.
The touch of the whip was soft. He knew it could be rougher, just as he knew it would never break his skin. His brother couldn't quite stomach that much. Normally he ached when he felt it, his desire shooting higher, but this time he just felt cold. The word to end it all danced on his tongue, but instead he gritted his teeth and refused to let it out. He wasn't weak. It had been his idea for them to do this; his desire even, that had brought it up, and he refused to give in now. If he enjoyed it every other time, he'd enjoy it now.
The sharp crack of the whip startled him, the flash of pain as it hit his skin a pleasure submerged by fear. Blood; he saw the blood all over him from small cuts that danced over his skin, each more painful than the last as his flesh became more and more sensitive. The dangerous pleasure in her face growing as she sliced him slowly, all while they waited for his brothers to find her message and deliver Leo to her.
"Rainbow!" The word tore from him without thought, too lost in the past to notice much of the present. Instantly, he heard the clatter of the whip fall to the ground, swift hands freeing his wrists and warm arms pulling him close as he trembled. He'd never used the safe word before, had actually laughed when Mike insisted they have one. Now he could only be grateful as he curled into Mike's embrace.
"Shh..it's okay, Raph. You're safe." The words were cracked. He could feel wetness on the top of his head and knew Mike was crying. Mike rarely cried, not for real. It made him feel worse, feel useless and weak and pitiful. Trying to push away did no good. Mike just held him tighter. It seemed like life times passed before the coldness and horror inside left him for an odd sense of peace. Mike had that ability, that gift. He wished he could take advantage of it more often.
"I'm okay now. We can go ahead and-"
"No." Raph blinked at Mike, surprised at the interruption. "You used the safe word. We stop. We can come back and try later, but not today." He wanted to protest. How was he supposed to get over this if they didn't keep trying? Relief was a tangible thing within him though. Resting his head against Mike's chest, he nodded.
He'd prove he was still his tough self later. For now, he liked the comfort.