WARNINGS!!: This story contains graphic violence, mature content, sexual themes and possible relationships between members of the same sex. If you are easily offended, be warned! This story is rated what it is for a reason!
SPOILER WARNING!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.
The Setting and Background:
Jiraiya and Naruto did not return to Konoha after two years of training. Instead, they stayed together much longer. Naruto learned many more techniques from his teacher, who he now calls "Shishou"(meaning "master").
When they finally return to the village after almost six years, many things have changed. Naruto tries to do his best by catching up with his friends and trying to piece together his life again.
Sasuke is still with Orochimaru and eventually rumors reach Konoha that the Uchiha has slain the Sanin and merged with him.
After several peaceful months, Sasuke attacks the village with an army of Sound shinobi.
During the battle, Jiraiya falls, leaving Naruto behind feeling responsible for his death.
Overcome with grief, anger, and sorrow, will Naruto be able to continue living an ordinary life?
Or - for the first time in his life - will he finally be consumed with the sickness known as vengeance?
Some Elements Within this Universe:
1. Kakashi's is slightly younger. He is about 23.
2. The attitude of the villagers towards Naruto is much more violent. This gets worse after the battle with Sasuke.
3. Naruto has not yet found out about the true identity of his father.
And now, without further ado...
The Silence of the Sound
Chapter 1
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."*
Where am I?
Surely, this couldn't be Hell.
Sunlight streamed down in semi-transparent rays, covering a stunning, green field with spots of brilliant light. The sky was cloudless – a startling azure that was reflected in a smooth lake. At first, he had trouble finding his body; his skin felt numb. But then, a soft breeze rushed through the clearing and he felt it more clearly than he'd ever felt anything in his life.
The air was warm – moist. Cool droplets of rain fell from above.
How strange, for there still was not a cloud in sight.
Tentatively, he spread his arms and tilted back his head, closing his eyes and absorbing the healing warmth and soothing water. He might have stood like that for centuries without a care; this was true bliss. Although he could not recall how he'd ended up in such a paradise – or even if he deserved to be here – he felt safe and peaceful.
"Naruto…"
That name sounded familiar; it took him a long while to realize that it belonged to him. Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned towards the voice at his side. A man stood there. His face was wrinkled with age, his hair a stunning white. Twin streaks of crimson stretched from his eyes down to his chin. Those eyes – they held the wisdom of ages though they twinkled with merriment.
"Shishou…" the boy whispered, a sudden tightening in his chest stealing his breath away. This was his Master – the man that had been his guardian, his father, and his teacher. Over several years, they had developed a bond that was closer than one shared by a family. "So you're here, too…" He smiled. Though this place was blissful, it was lonely. Now that he had someone to share it with, he was certain that it wouldn't be so bad.
"I'm here, but that doesn't mean you should be…"
Frowning, the boy shook his head.
"What do you mean? We belong here, don't we?"
For a moment, the older man was silent. Then –
"Naruto, you cannot stay here."
The warning was clear. During their years together, there was hardly a moment when his teacher had used this tone of voice. He was usually laughing, making a joke out of every situation; even if he had been disappointed with his slow progress, the man had never shown it. So why now? Why now, when they were in such a majestic place? What could possibly be wrong with spending eternity floating here – without a care in the world?
"It's dangerous…" he warned.
So that was it? His teacher was just worried for his safety? An strange yet too familiar emotion bloomed in his heart. Images flashed before his eyes – someone was standing in front of him, taking hits for him; someone was pushing him behind a strong and powerful back. He couldn't remember their faces, but he knew they were important to him. The hairs on his nape stood on end. Something was behind him, something precious and dear. He feared to turn around; if he looked back, he would never see the man in front of him again. If he looked back, he would be torn from this paradise. A sudden fierceness and restlessness took hold of him; stepping forward, he placed a firm hand on his teacher's shoulder.
"I'll protect you," he said confidently. "I'll protect you no matter what I have to do."
To his surprise, the man beside him laughed – a warm but dry sound. For the first time, Naruto saw that his eyes were glazed. A hand covered his own; it was cold as ice.
"It's a hundred years too early for you to be telling me that, brat."
The boy bristled at the half-hearted insult. For some reason, it was important that the older man believe him. Using all his strength, Naruto forced him to turn around. The man's face was grey – lifeless. It seemed that he was fading away right before his eyes. A chill settled in the pit of his stomach. The sunlight began to darken around him, the field shrinking in size.
"You've grown strong, Naruto…so strong…"
The panic that seized his heart in fiery talons was so painful that he nearly doubled over with its force. Desperately, he flew forward and clung to the man's robes with all the power he could muster. As always, the man understood his feelings perfectly. Naruto didn't have to say a word. With cold fingers, his teacher cupped his face, looking into his eyes with pride.
"I never imagined that I could be redeemed. When I failed to save the one person that mattered the most to me, I thought I'd never care for anyone again." Before Naruto could say anything in response, he was pulled into a fierce hug. "For so many years, I squandered my time selfishly. But then you came, and I was able to make a difference in your life. I felt that I was finally doing something for someone other than myself."
"You're still going to," the boy whispered. Again, the man did not respond. "We're going to the hot springs tomorrow, remember? You haven't finished teaching me how to…"
"Naruto," the man said firmly. His arms tightened painfully around him. The way his teacher said his name – it made him sick. There was finality in it; the sort of finality that hinted at loss and despair.
"No…I won't let you go. I can't…"
The scenery was shifting – the grass was dying; the rain stopped; the breeze no longer moved the trees. There was only the silence of the sound – the horrid, painful silence that had been so dominant in the first part of his life. He pressed his ear to the man's chest – again, there was only silence. Denial rose up as bile in his throat; this wasn't happening. This was just a horrid nightmare.
"Let me go…" the man said softly.
Naruto was so limp with shock and terror that he hardly felt himself being pulled up. Only when the man's face swam before his eyes did he understand that he was crying. His master smiled – that smile that always gave him strength, that smile that always made him feel strong enough to move on.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no…
"Don't leave me," the boy pleaded in a broken voice. "I can't do this on my own…" His lungs burned; he forgot how to breathe.
"I wish I had found you sooner. I wish I could have given more of myself to you. But the past cannot be undone. We can only learn from our mistakes and try to prevent others from repeating them." Stone-cold fingers pushed against his shoulder and made him turn around. He shut his eyes – squeezed them closed until he couldn't see a thing. "Look there, Naruto. Look at everything you're leaving behind. If you come with me, everything I've done will have meant nothing."
No, no, no, no, no, no, no…
Yet, no matter how much it went against everything inside him, his eyes were opened. Sprawled before him was Konoha – beautiful and radiant as it had always been. Though, it was different now - empty. He had memories of every road, every tree, and every bush – memories with this man. What would be the meaning of returning there if his teacher wasn't there with him? Would he walk alone through those quiet streets? Would his shadow be the only one to keep his company?
"Don't leave me alone…" the the boy begged. "I'm so alone…"
At this, the man laughed. His grip tightened on his shoulders.
"I'll always be with you…" He reached around and pulled the boy against his chest, placing one hand against his heart. "…here…"
"That's not enough…" Naruto rasped. "It's not enough…"
"Remember me…" the voice behind him whispered in his ear. "Remember me…"
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Damn his old life! Damn his past! Damn everything he would leave behind! He wanted to dig his nails into the man's weathered skin, but his fingers grasped at nothing. When he turned around, there was only darkness. The man was gone; he was alone. Falling to his knees, the boy wrapped his arms around his shaking body, rocking back and forth. Panic was tearing him apart, loneliness was eating him alive. His head was spinning. This was a nightmare; this had to be a nightmare. Any second now, he would wake up and find his teacher teasing him about his laziness. Any second now, he would wake up and find a sarcastic smile greeting him.
Remember me…
In that moment, he thought he would do absolutely anything to hear that voice again. He held his breath and waited…
And waited…
And waited…
But all he could hear was the silence of the sound.
...
When he opened his eyes, he was nearly blinded. The sun had returned – violently hot and painfully bright. He groaned, wanting to crawl into a hole. His body was on fire.
"Naruto! Are you alright? Can you hear me?"
The sudden sound pressing against his sensitive ear drums was almost too much to bear. He saw blurred shapes floating above his face and wanted nothing more than to swat them away. He would have, had his arms not been made of lead.
"Looks like he's coming out of it. Hold him still."
Hold him? Were the shapes talking about him? Was he moving? Nausea disoriented him. Memories burst past the damn in his mind. Jiraiya – where was he? Where was his teacher? Where was the man that had become his father?
Remember me…
Completely off balance, he rolled sideways until he felt himself falling. The impact with the ground jarred him so hard he bit the side of his cheek. It was fortunate; the pain snapped him out of his daze. His vision sharpened until he saw a dark, blue wall. Without pause, he vomited. Endlessly, his stomach heaved; the contractions continued until he felt nothing but acid hitting the back of his throat. Through sheer will, he pulled himself up until he was standing.
Remember me…
He took a few steps before he crashed against the wall, his knees, face, and elbows bursting in agony. He was alive. Why was he alive? Just now, he had been in paradise. Just now, he had seen his teacher's face. What was he doing in this wretched place? Where was the point in anything if his most precious person wasn't here beside him?
"Naruto! Don't get up!"
"Give me the sedative," a calm voice interrupted. He whirled around and saw three familiar faces. The first one he recognized was Sakura's. She should have been beautiful; her face should have taken his breath away as it always had, but it did not. She seemed plain as paper; her presence did nothing to move him. Next was Tsunade – lovely, passionate, moody, and violent Tsunade. She stood next to a tall man he vaguely recognized as his old teacher – Kakashi. His black eye was focused intently on Naruto's face; was he trying to see through him? Could he even understand the depth of his sorrow? Naturally, no one could. The hole punched through his gut was a void that could never be filled again.
"He's gone…he's gone…he's gone…" Dimly, Naruto recognized that he was speaking, but he couldn't feel his lips. Sakura sprang forward, her turquoise eyes filled with pity.
"Naruto, I'm so sorry…" He hated her for that pity. It was the last thing he needed.
"I couldn't do anything…" he said shakily. Like lightning, images burned through his memories. The attack on the village – he remembered that. Sasuke, no merged with Orochimaru, had nearly lain waste to Konoha in a surprise attack. They had been unprepared. The Hokage's tower had been completely destroyed; so many people died right before his eyes. The rage had taken him by storm; his inner beast had responded all too eagerly. Before he could even try to resist, he had transformed, throwing Rasenshurikens every which way, not caring if he destroyed buildings in his pursuit of the enemy. Eventually, he had driven Sasuke and the Sound shinobi back, but at the price of his sanity. Instead of calming down, he had chased him, unaware that Jiraiya was following close behind. In an attempt to stop Naruto's rampage, the Sanin had risked his life to try to forcefully seal the Kyuubi away.
While he was preoccupied, the Sound attackers had returned. He could not recall who had been responsible, but someone had taken advantage of the older man's weak moment. He had been struck down violently, bleeding heavily from the chest and neck. Seeing that, Naruto's rage grew worse. From that point on, he hardly remembered a thing – only that Sasuke had somehow repressed the Kyuubi's chakra. After that, everything was a blur.
"I killed him…" the boy suddenly sobbed. He stretched out his bandaged hands, staring at his useless fingers. "With these hands, I…"
"Naruto! Don't you dare try to take responsibility."
His head snapped up right as someone grabbed him by the front of his shirt. He was jerked upwards until he could focus on one, midnight-black eye. Kakashi – again, he was trying to reassure him with pure nonsense. Of course it was his fault. Had he been in better control, none of this would have happened.
"My god…what have I done?" The realization that his stupidity had led to the death of his teacher – no, his father – forced the blood out of his face. Cold sweat made him shudder. His vision tunneled. He heard footsteps and saw Tsunade coming towards him with something in her hand. They had said something about a sedative. Startled, he gripped Kakashi's wrist between his hands and tried to pry himself loose. His eyes were wild; he struggled like a cornered animal.
"Relax…take it easy…" the Hokage murmured.
His shoulder stung and before he could try to fight it, he was blacking out.
...
A/N:
*Quote by Norman Cousins
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