A/N - here is my second transformers fic! I have to apologise as I doubt its anywhere near canon. Its a short oneshot but I might decide to make it into a series of oneshots to describe some of the scenes in it. ;)
The start was a bit hard but the rest just flowed out - I actually started at the end and worked my way back! Hope you enjoy!
The Autobots had gathered in the rec room for a party to celebrate Megatrons latest defeat, Optimus had agreed to it after a prolonged amount of Jazz's 'cyberpuppy-dog eyes', no one could say no to that.
The high grade had been flowing for hours; Bumblebee had offlined early and was snoring next to Bulkhead. Optimus and Prowl had given up restoring order and were quietly grumbling in the corner about which of them had it the hardest while surreptitiously drinking as much high grade as they could.
Unfortunately, no one was paying any attention to them, the main point of focus for every other mech was the game of 'I have never' currently being played by seven mechs in various stages of drunkenness.
The twin Lamborghinis and Jazz had started it, complaining that it was boring to just sit and drink. Bumblebee had mentioned an Earth game called 'I have never' and the four had started to play, commandeering a table, some chairs and a few bottles of high grade.
Jazz had roped in Wheeljack from where he had been hiding behind Prowl. Inferno had joined in to make Wheeljack more comfortable, dragging his friend Red Alert in, under the pretence of helping the security officer relax for a change.
Ratchet had predictably joined in after the questions turned a bit less innocent once Bumblebee had passed out. It wouldn't do to harm his young audio sensors after all.
There had already been quite a few revelations; Wheeljack had admitted to cross dressing in a 'statistical exercise', Sideswipe had given a commanding officer a lap dance, Sunny had once sang at a mech-bar as 'Lady Luscious', Inferno had participated in bondage, Jazz had once stolen Sentinels aft plate while Sentinel was still awake and Ratchet had interfaced with just about everything Primus had ever created.
All of them where now a bit worse for wear as their systems tried to filter the high grade out, how they were still online was a mystery to some of the watchers. There had been some truly excellent questions but the best were still to come.
Inferno wobbled in his seat as he giggled after hiccupping, it was his turn and his mouth blurted out his question before his processor could catch up.
"I have never made a raunchy AV recording... with two other mechs..." he slurred.
There was a stunned silence permeating the room before one mech sneezed and was quickly stifled by his neighbour. Surely no one would have done that – it was simply too vulgar. No matter that it made a few mech hot under the shoulder plating to think of some of the players in that kind of situation.
The silence was broken by a quiet "Damn it Inferno, that was a secret!" as Red Alert quickly drank his shot of high grade. Jaw hinges squeaked alarmingly as every bot there gaped at the blushing Red Alert, followed by a crash as an unfortunate Optimus fell off his chair.
"W-W-W-What?" croaked Optimus as he attempted to get up off the floor, staring at the mechs around the table.
Red Alerts blush deepened and he coughed uncomfortably, "I had a wild youth."
A lot of the surrounding mechs would never admit it but their spikes pressurised slightly thinking of the pretty and distinguished Red Alert 'facing two much bigger mechs. The image of energon and lubricant flying everywhere was very... pleasing, particularly if there was a camera involved. One brave spark wolf whistled before he was silenced by Red Alerts death glare, reminding all the watchers of the unproved rumours about exactly what he could do with a screwdriver.
Red Alert shifted his glare to his 'good friend', the incredibly drunk Inferno and hissed in an embarrassed voice "Well... I have never made out with a radiator!"
All eyes shifted to Inferno as he took his shot, missing his mouth twice, before falling forward with a muffled groan onto his face plate.
"Ewwwww" groaned a wobbly Sunstreaker, "why'd you do that?"
"Was drunk... and Mr Melty was pretty..."
It was at this point that Sideswipe realised Ratchet had also taken his shot with a smug, if slightly dazed, grin.
"Oh Primus Ratchet, is there anything you HAVENT 'faced?" complained Jazz.
Ratchets smirked crookedly as he spoke "Well I've always wondered what it would be like but... I've never faced a Seeker."
As everyone looked at Ratchet as if he had finally lost his mind (if he had it to begin with), Wheeljack paled alarmingly and chocked out a shocked "W-W-W-What?"
Sideswipe rolled his eyes before turning to look at him "Honestly Wheeljack, we all knew Ratchet was a bit of a..." Sideswipe trailed off as he saw what had shocked Wheeljack so much.
Red Alert had taken his drink.
"Holy Primus!" bellowed Sideswipe as he jaw nearly fell off, gaining the attention of every other mech in the room, "How did you manage that Red?"
The red and white mech looked down, blush spreading, as he spoke quietly, "I told you, I had a wild youth."
A loud crash signalled that Prowl had glitched before silence took over. Not a noise was made for at least 5 minutes as processors tried to work out when the world had ended, Inferno opening and closing his jaw with wide optics while staring at his friend.
"W-W-Who?" croaked Jazz, looking at Red Alert with what could almost pass as respect.
"Starscream" Red Alert extended his answer at the incredulous looks "I was young! He was hot! He had an interstellar vehicle!" Red Alert stopped as his excuses sounded ridiculous even to his own audio sensors.
Inferno finally offlined as it caught up to him, the twins looked impressed, in a sickened way and Wheeljack was staring with optics the size of Cybertron.
The silence was broken by Ratchet, sounding vaguely curious, "So, how was it?"
Hope you enjoyed the fic. Constructive criticism is always welcome!