Pippa is asleep now, in my arms. She asked a question. It wasn't Do you love me, as I expected. In fact this one led me to lie.
"Do you believe in the idea that there is a one true love for everyone?" She asked, holding her matching amethyst parasol angled so they couldn't hear us.
I smiled, lying, "Yes, of course I do, Pip. "
Her face grew troubled as if she was conflicted. Then it relaxed. "Fee, dear, I don't. " My shock must have escaped my guile for she quickly began again. "You see Fee, I think there are innumerable people who we can love, it just won't be the same. The love won't. For example, I love you, but what if I have to marry that Brumble, Bramble, whatever his name is fellow? Does my love for you mean I can never love him? It will never be the same, This I know, it's just Mother keeps saying I will learn to love him, and I want to say but my heart is already given…Oh Fee…Why can't we just stay in the realms? You could get Gemma to take us, you know how she looks to you. Please?"
I looked at her, taking in her raven, ebony curls coiffed up out of her face and the small tendrils that would never obey. Her deep amethyst eyes, the dark fine lashes and her porcelain complexion…Tis no wonder she was often jealous of Ann. Because of her exquisite beauty, my Pip had been cursed to have men chase her…But she never liked men, I wanted to scream out to God.
A God I would happily defy and did, I am right now, by loving Pippa. It seems so ironic and cruel that we should love. We can always be together, always maintain the facade of bosom friends to cover our dalliances. But the cruelty therein lies, that we must maintain a facade at all is cruel. That I cannot scream with joy "I love Pippa Cross!" is cruel too. And even that Pippa is so beautiful is cruel. I can pass by as a beautiful oddity and be over looked, but Pip? Never…
She stirs in my arms and I close my eyes so she won't see me look at her…She won't see my lie…