Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books. All credit goes to J.K Rowling

THE DAILY PROPHET

(10/05/98)

Britain's only newspaper not run by communists

GOTCHA!

Britain's Two Most Wanted Fugitives Captured

Daniel Negroponte writes.

'The Wizarding community of Britain owes its gratitude to the brave and selfless men and women of the Auror Office,' The Minister for Magic declared today, after triumphantly announcing that Britain's most wanted fugitives, the criminal lovers Hermione Jean Granger and Ronald Bilius Weasley, were apprehended yesterday after a brief duel out in Epping Forest, North London. One Auror was killed and another two were injured. The Ministry has not released the names of the casualties, only saying that the dead Auror left behind a young wife and three children, who will now be without a husband and father thanks to these two ruthless and evil muderers. Insider sources suggest that all four hundred and sixty four officers involved in the operation will receive commendations and medals. Mudblood Granger, 18, and blood traitor Weasley, also 18, were finally cornered like the scum that they are on top of Pole Hill, Chingford, just seven days after the Ministry's decisive victory in battle over the proscribed terrorist group that the two belong, The Order of the Phoenix, at Hogwarts Castle. The duo are being held at a detention facility in Leyton, but are set to be transported directly to Azkaban where they will be remanded into custody until their trials. A Ministry spokesman told the Prophet that between them, Granger and Weasley will be indicted on four thousand, seven hundred and nine charges, including but not limited to multiple counts of high treason, murder, homosexuality, attempted murder, conspiracy, theft, magic theft, sodomy, assault and arson. Granger will also be the first criminal charged under the Purification Act 1998, which makes it illegal to be a Mudblood. Chief Prosecutor of the Wizengamot, Maximillian Gamot, confirmed that the Ministry will seek the death penalty for both Granger and Weasley. The drama is not yet over though, as the Pure-Blood Alliance immediately announced that it is seeking a judicial review over the legality of the death penalty being used on pure-bloods. Mr Gamot is not fazed however. 'Even though Mr Weasley is a pure-blooded wizard by birth, the actions he has taken and crimes he has committed during his life makes him a blood traitor. I have the utmost confidence that the Courts will back my decision that the pathetic, miserable waste of oxygen that is Mr Weasley deserves death,' he said at a press conference yesterday evening.

The Ministry are confident that with the two suspected leaders of the Order of the Phoenix in custody, victory in the war on terror is finally on the horizon. An Order soldier who defected to the Ministry, who wished to remain anonymous, told the Prophet in an exclusive interview that the Order is down to less than a dozen members and has begun branching out into child pornography, extortion and prostitution to finance its evil campaign of terror.

Full interview- Page 11.

Biography of the fugitive lovers- Page 3

Ministry unveils plans for new G1.5 billion Intelligence headquarters- Page 20

UK breaks diplomatic relations with the Hun after diplomatic insult – Page 24

Wizengamot passes Mass Surveillance Act by 314 votes to 11 – Page 33

Eleven members of the Wizengamot resign in disgrace after homosexual orgy- Page 36

100 Sexiest Witches of 1998- Start voting now! - Page 42