He had not fully thought this through, plain and simple. He had been considering the idea for weeks; they spent so much of their time together already it made sense, her moving in. Of course being a man, he had come to this conclusion for the practical reasons. Why pay for two places when one would be so much more convenient? It would cut down on their travelling time to each other's apartments and subsequently increase the time they got to be together. Sure they saw each other at work all the time but it wasn't comparable to the time they spent outside the office. The time they spent together simply being. And for those days when they had conflicting shifts, living in the same place would mean for ten glorious minutes they could be together before the other had to hurry off and fight the good fight. Sometimes ten minutes could mean all the difference.
His buddies had raised their brows when he mentioned it at weekly poker night. He understood, after all he was the notorious commitment phobic. They figured he was coming down with something and next week he'd be back to normal. He couldn't blame them really; his track record did nothing for him in this situation. Not once before had he even entertained the idea of moving in with a woman, frankly it was just asking for trouble when the inevitable break-up occurred. But that was before this woman. Now he'd found the one person he knew he could never get tired of being around, and didn't it make sense then for them to be together all the time?
He was slightly more hurt when he brought it up to her. She smiled at him in that dismissive way and said, "we'll see" with a technique he had thought only mothers knew how to do but realized now it was just all females in general. She didn't believe him, not unexpected but hurtful nonetheless. He let it be for a few weeks but made sure to drop a few not so subtle hints. He had never been very good at subtle and never truly cared. One evening they had planned to meet and go out for dinner but wires were crossed and she had gone to his place and he had gone to hers. When they finally did meet up he just raised his eyebrows at her in a slightly accusing way and she shrugged and they went out and had a great time and never spoke about it.
He brought it up again about a month after the dinner incident, laying out all the practical reasons he could think of for why it was a good idea, figuring if nothing else she would appreciate the practicality. He felt like a monster when she looked up at him with sad eyes and said "what about when you get tired of me?" Jaw to the floor, he had groped for the right words to tell her he would never get tired of her, but he was never the best with words and knew that once again his track record was against him. She finally interrupted him explaining softly that it was okay, she understood he wasn't the committing type so it was fine with her if the relationship stayed where it was and she just felt better knowing she had a place to go back to. Words failed him again and they spent the rest of the evening out of sync with each other, fumbling for small talk and ending the evening with a clumsy kiss and awkward see you laters.
When he approached it for the third time he practiced for days in advance. He knew this would be the last time he would ask. A game plan was what he needed, a foolproof one. So he thought up exactly what to say and as he practiced in front of his mirror before going over to her place he felt like the biggest of fools and his ears hurt from the desperation in his voice. He really didn't want to come off as begging, but if that were what it would take he'd go for it. When he got there his well versed speech went out the window instead he spewed out words mindlessly to her but figured she must have got the gist because there were tears in her eyes when she wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled into his ears something about him being a stubborn mule. He just grinned and spun her around before throwing her over onto her bed and tickling her senseless until she cried uncle and he quieted her shrieking laughter with his lips.
A compromise, he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before. She needed proof that this was for real; this was not a temporary set up. So he had brought his lease with him, which his landlord had been hounding him about re-signing but he had put off until he could convince her. Then it came to him, he would just show her that she would always have somewhere to go if for some reason things went wrong. God knew he had a knack for making things go wrong, but this was not one of those times so he was willing to gamble. His place was bigger than hers, closer to the office and all around a better fit for two people. So he was bringing her his lease for her to sign, and if somehow he fucked things up, he would be the one to leave, find a new place, and she would have the apartment. It was so simple really and his heart had soared when she had grinned at him and jumped into his arms. Little did he know that she would never consider kicking him out of his own place, but it was the gesture that made all the difference to her, the proof that he was as serious about them as she was.
They had been living together for three weeks now and he knew, despite the fact that this had been consuming his thoughts for a few months now; he really had not thought it through before. He had thought the idea was brilliant because of the practical reasons. And it was. But God, he hadn't even considered all the other perks of having a woman, his woman, living with him. The little things, like how she always had the coffee on by the time he was awake, he had no idea how happy such a small thing could make him. And the way she always made sure the fridge was organized in a certain way so that he always knew exactly where the milk or the butter would be without even opening his eyes.
But even more than the little things, he loved just sitting back and watching her. Sometimes at night he would lie back on the bed and just stare at her as she used a cotton swab to take off the small amounts of makeup around her eyes and then as she rubbed some sort of cream into her skin that would make her smell like an exotic fruit all night long. She would meet his gaze in the mirror and squint her eyes, pretending to give him a dirty look and try to copy his accent and say, "what are you lookin' at?" He'd just smile and shrug and she'd blush and finish with her moisturizing and crawl into bed wearing a pair of skimpy shorts and one of his t-shirts that he thought made her look sexier than any lingerie possibly could. He'd grab her and pull her up against him and take an exaggerated breath in before gently pressing his teeth against her shoulder where his t-shirt had slipped down and whisper something about her being good enough to eat. Together they would drift off to sleep under the sheets that he knew for a fact she washed every Tuesday like clockwork and he knew when he woke up the next morning he would get to spend yet another day with her and mentally kicked himself for not even considering the hundreds of things that made living with her make life better. Maybe if he had actually thought this threw he woulda gotten it right the first time and they'd have moved in together months ago.