Like Little Lambs Astray

By WritePassion

By the light of the new dawn, Sam watched Yvette sleep. He lay on his side with his arm around her, and though she was relaxed, he knew she was still in pain. A couple months had passed since Samuel was kidnapped, he and Yvette were shot by the kidnappers, and their unborn child was dead, with no chance of having another. Maybe because he was a man, it was easier for him to accept, but for Yvette, it was a different story. He recognized the signs of depression taking root, but he remembered from his SEAL days that one of the tactics to combat that downward spiral was to get back to a normal routine as soon as possible. That involved getting her up in about a half hour. The best way to do that was with coffee.

Yvette smelled the aroma of coffee, sighed, and decided it was time for her to get out of bed. She still moved carefully, favoring her sore abdominal muscles. These days, however, it had less to do with the surgery to repair her wounded body, and more to do with Sam and his father encouraging her to get back in shape. Every morning Sam dragged her out for a run to the beach and back, with little Samuel being pushed by one of them in the jogging stroller. Sometimes they went alone while Samuel Sr. watched his grandson.

She emerged from the bathroom and found Sam standing on the landing with a cup of coffee and a big smile. "Morning, sweetheart!" He held out the cup and she took it. "How're you feeling today?"

She took a long sip before replying with a small pout. "I'm not doing crunches."

"Sure, no problem. But we're not skipping the run." He smiled despite the look she gave him as she passed and made her way downstairs. She looked so tired, but he knew she slept peacefully the night before, so there were other things at play. He suddenly felt uneasy about leaving her home alone.

After their run, Samuel met him outside the bathroom and gave Sam a quick once-over. "You're soaked, Son."

"Yeah, it started raining on the last leg of our run. Felt good, but I don't think you're gonna want to walk to work in it. You want a ride? I've gotta meet Mike and Fi at Carlito's this morning anyway."

"As long as you can get yourself together in about fifteen minutes"

"Sure. I'll drive you, and Eve can pick you up if it's raining when you get off shift."

Sam got himself together quickly, and when the men prepared to leave he gave Yvette an exceptionally warm kiss and embrace. "Are you okay?" He whispered into her ear.

"Yeah. I'll be fine," she replied with a smile.

He could read her like a map, but sometimes his fears clouded his vision. "Should I call Maddie?"

"Sam, she can't keep running over here every time I'm feeling a little blue. I'll be fine, really!" She ran her hands down his chest as she spoke, and wrapped her arms around his waist. With a kiss filled with a passion that had been missing from her recently, she whispered softly against his cheek, "You better go or you're both going to be late!"

The seductive smile she gave him destroyed his will to leave, but at least he knew she wasn't completely hopeless yet. She still loved their family, and him, so he gave her a crooked grin and offered a promise for later with his expression. His words punctuated the passion she stirred up in him as he groaned, "I've really gotta go." He kissed her cheek and reluctantly turned out of her grasp. "I'll see you later."

"I'll be here."

After they were gone, Yvette fell back into her routine, cleaning the kitchen while little Samuel played in the living room. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept her moving from day to day. She knew she was getting better, because thoughts of her baby didn't occupy her mind all the time. Still, there were days like this when she looked at Samuel's smiling face and wondered what she would have looked like. The doctor never told her if it was a boy or a girl, but she imagined a little girl with sandy brown hair, dark eyes that favored her father's, and a sunny smile that would match her mother's. Thoughts like that were dangerous.

Yvette shook her head and wished the picture away as dried the countertop with a towel and listened intently to Samuel toddling around in the other room. She was glad that they took the time a few months ago to baby-proof the house. He was ahead of most kids his age because he never seemed interested in crawling. He just went right to walking once he could pull himself up and shuffle around on his feet. She sighed as she finished wiping down the counter. He's going to be a year old next month. How that time flew! If only he'd have a little brother or sister...

Someone knocked on the door, and Yvette froze. They knocked again, and her head whipped around to the cupboard where Sam kept an extra gun. She reached for it, grabbed a clip out of a canister on the counter, and loaded it as she approached the front room. Samuel stood in the middle of the floor with a block in his hands, staring at her.

"It's okay, honey. Mommy's just going to the door." She made her body less of a target by sidling up to the door and standing perpendicular to it as she peeked through the side window covered by filmy curtains. She didn't know the person standing on their porch. With the chain slipped into place, she unlocked the door and held it open a crack. "Who are you? What do you want?"

A tiny blonde woman with friendly blue eyes smiled as she leaned closer to the opening. "Hi, are you Mrs. Axe?"

"Who wants to know?"

"My name is Pam. Pam McCarthy. I'm your neighbor from two doors down, just moved in a few weeks ago. I've been trying to come around and meet everybody." Her smile widened. "I'm sorry, I can't help myself. I'm a pastor's wife, it's in my nature."

Yvette couldn't help but smile at the woman's sincerity. Despite her initial wariness, there was something about the woman that put her at ease."Yes, I'm Yvette, Yvette Axe. Hang on a second." She tucked the gun behind her back, closed the door and unfastened the chain. As she opened the door again, she asked, "Would you like to come in for some coffee?"

"I'd love some! Thank you for inviting me in." She stepped back to let Yvette open the screen door and she slipped past her. Pam noticed Samuel sitting on the floor in the midst of his toys. "And this must be your little guy!"

"Yes. His name is Samuel, like his dad...and his grandpa."

"How do you do address them without getting confused?"

Yvette laughed, the first genuine expression of humor she'd released in awhile. "Practice, Pam. Practice."

Pam laughed.

"Excuse me a minute, I just have to get some coffee brewing. I'm afraid between Samuel and Sam, and me, coffee doesn't last long around here."

"No problem. I'll just sit down and hang out with little Samuel."

Yvette was surprised when Pam sat on the new area rug that covered the blood stains they couldn't get out of the floor, and she stacked some blocks in front of Samuel. He smiled and knocked them over. Pam let out an exaggerated gasp and rebuilt the wall. She seemed to have a rapport with him, and for one brief moment, she wondered what her motives were. Yvette glanced at the door.

"I'm going to leave the front door open. It seems like such a nice day today." Yvette opened the inside door but locked the screen. The lock always stuck, and it took a special little wiggle to get it to open. If Pam intended to steal Samuel, she would have to know the secret or get lucky in her escape.

"It's gorgeous out there. I was thinking of going to the...beach...later." She swallowed. "Um...do you know that you're...armed?"

Yvette turned her head at Pam's hesitation, and she noted the woman's eyes were fixed on her back where the gun poked out from the waistband of her jeans. She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, my husband and I have been a little wary of strangers lately." She picked the gun from its hiding place and wiggled it nervously in her hand as she continued back to the kitchen. She kept it loaded and tucked it into the cabinet over the microwave, just in case.

From the living room, Pam replied loud enough for her to hear. "I don't blame you! I can't imagine going through what you did, Yvette. You have my sympathies."

"Thank you, Pam. Do you know...I mean, how much do you know?" From Sam, she learned that there was an art to asking questions that brought answers, something she was still trying to master. She pushed the button on the coffee maker and returned to the living room, and she sat down, flanking Samuel on his other side.

"We just moved here to Miami and were living in an efficiency until the house was ready. I was shocked when I discovered that it was you and your family who were victimized when Samuel was kidnapped. The whole church prayed for you both and prayed for Samuel's safe return." Pam reached out and smoothed his soft hair with such tenderness, Yvette studied her expression. There was something like longing in her eyes again. "I'm really glad they were able to locate him and get him out of there. Too bad the kidnappers didn't face justice."

"Yeah. I'm just glad it's over, at least, as over as it can be." Why did I say that?

"What do you mean?"

Yvette smiled thinly. "If Sam were here, he would tell me that this is a good time to talk about what happened and make my peace with it. But what if I'm not ready to do that? What if I'm still too overwhelmed?" Tears sprung to her eyes and she swiped them away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you with this. I hardly know you."

"Sometimes we're most honest with people we don't know. That's how we become friends." Pam smiled and reached over to pat Yvette's hand. "And you don't have to worry. I'm used to confidentiality. Whatever we discuss here, not even my husband will know, unless you want me to tell him."

Yvette still wasn't convinced, but she'd gone out on a limb before and trusted Sam and his friends and it changed her life forever. She let out a deep sigh. "When Samuel was taken, his father and I were shot by the kidnapper. Sam came out of it okay, but...I lost a baby...and now I'm unable to have another." She sniffled. "I was going to tell Sam that night..."

"Oh, Yvette." Pam got up, took two steps to Yvette's side, and sat down and enveloped her in her arms. She didn't say anything until Yvette was cried out and silent. She whispered, "I know how you feel. I had one child, but she was killed in a car accident when she was three, and I barely escaped with my life. I can't have any more, either." Pam told her what happened, and the more intimate the details, the more astonished Yvette became that this woman would share her struggle so candidly. When she finished, Pam smiled with tears in her eyes. "It took me a long time to get to a point where I accepted it, but that doesn't mean I still don't feel angry now and then. I just sit down and spend more time in prayer, and remember that there are alternatives." She smiled warmly. "As a matter of fact, we've been on a waiting list to adopt, and any day now, they'll be calling us about a match."

"Adoption? Sam brought it up, but..." She shook her head. "It just wouldn't be the same."

"It's okay, Yvette. You're not ready, and that's understandable. I'm sure Sam meant well, but guys...they always want to put a Band Aid on a lacerated artery. You know what I mean?"

Yvette snickered. "That's an interesting analogy."

"Yeah. I used to be an emergency room nurse until I followed my husband's calling." She grinned. "And I don't really miss it, because I wind up spending a lot of time helping people in other ways. It's very rewarding."

"Pam...I'm so glad you came to my door. I have a feeling that it wasn't just coincidence, that God brought you here to me when I needed someone to talk to." Samuel toddled over to her and gave her a hug. "Thank you, sweetie! Hey Pam, you want some of that coffee now?"

"Sure!"

"And why don't you stay for lunch? We'll talk and get to know each other, and then maybe after Samuel's nap we can go to the beach?"

"I'd love that, Yvette. Thank you."