So I've wanted to write a one-shot like this forever. Problem was? I couldn't find a good song. I found this one on YouTube and fell in love with it. Yes it is my birthday (January 22!) but I have no other plans for the day… mine were all cancelled due to the weather): Without further ado here is Safe and Sound.
Song: Safe and Sound Taylor Swift
Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi or Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift
Clare-
"Clare wait!" she heard his voice call from behind her as she ran down the stairs, tears springing in her eyes. Flinging the front door open she was greeted with the icy breath of a Toronto Winter. Outside was silent, she noticed, as she pulled her jacket on. That was exactly what she needed right now. Taking one last look at the house she began to walk down the street. She could only hope that he wouldn't follow her.
How could I be so stupid? Thinking he actually liked me. How naïve am I? I NEVER seem to learn. After what happened with K.C. how didn't I pick up the signals sooner? BOTH of them cheated on me with her.
The thoughts ran through her head, and she walked down the street. Despite the people walking around her, she felt utterly lost, and alone. The streetlights shined luminous, against the snow creating an eerie glow. Stores lined up next to each other were filled with warmth and teenagers. She cast a look towards The Dot, nothing sounded better than a peppermint hot chocolate. Opening the door to the tiny café, she sat down at one of the many tables. The building was nearly empty, except for a few groups near the back of it, and Adam?
He was sitting alone at a table near the counter, talking on his phone. The look on his face was one of concern. Curious she picked up her bag, and joined him at the table.
"Eli, calm down. Did you take your meds today?" he spoke quietly into his phone, holding up a finger to Clare, letting her know he'd explain in a second.
"Okay, are Cece and Bullfrog there? No? Okay, I'll be there in little while Eli. Just try and stay calm," he tried to hide his worry, though it was still clearly there. Closing his phone, he shrugged on his jacket.
"Adam what's wrong with Eli?" She questioned standing up, and following him towards the door. He didn't answer.
"ADAM!" she exclaimed watching him open the door. He turned on his heels, a look of pure fury etched across his face. She took a step back, shocked.
"What's. wrong with him?" she asked softly, unable to look at Adam.
"Why would you care? Honestly Clare, you haven't paid attention to him all year. Why now?" he questioned anger radiating from his voice.
"I just wanted to know,"
"If you must know, he's on the verge of an anxiety attack. Cece and Bullfrog are out of town for the weekend, and he can't figure out where they stashed his meds. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to get to him, before things escalate." He put this bluntly before heading out the door. Only to have himself held back once again.
"Can I come?" she murmured hoping for a yes. He rolled his eyes.
"You have to do everything I tell you to do once we get there. Be as quiet as possible, and you have to stay calm or else things get way worse. If I tell you to leave, you need to do that because I have no idea how he's going to feel about having you there." With those words said the pair hurried out towards Adam's car.
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said; I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
As they drove to the Goldsworthy's home, she couldn't help but think about all that had happened between her and Eli. She could remember the day Fitz had shown up at her home, how scared Eli had been. How cruel she'd been to him,
"Anyone with a heart would do the same thing I did Eli! You're overreacting," she exclaimed furiously. Her arms were crossed and her feet firmly planted on the kitchen floor.
"So you're saying I'm heartless?" he questioned though it sounded more like a statement.
"Yeah. I am" she retorted watching the look of fury on his face melt into one of hurt. Without another word he trudged out of her house, allowing the door to swing shut behind him.
Nearly an hour later she looked out the window to see the hearse still parked in her driveway. A figure lay slumped over the steering wheel. She remembered how panicked she had been when she saw him lying that way. She thought for sure he was dying. She threw the front door open and hastily made her way to the hearse. Knocking on the window she prayed he would look up at her. He didn't.
She fought back tears as she climbed into the hearse, via passenger side.
"Eli?" she murmured quietly, gently shutting the door behind her.
"Eli," she repeated gently, laying her hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her slowly, she gasped.
Never before had she seen him cry. His emerald eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks tear streaked, he even had snot running from his nose.
"Oh Eli…I-I'm...so so sorry, I didn't mean any of what I said. It's just that…you made me so mad. I'm SO sorry," she whispered allowing him to worm into her embrace.
"I deserved it. I'm sorry too, but when you're around Fitz all I can think about is what he told me he was going to do to you. Don't worry when I have sex with Clare, I'll be gentle... I know that he's supposedly "Changed" but I can't help but wonder if he'd actually do that to you. I really don't want to find out," he croaked hoarsely.
"Eli, that would NEVER happen," she mumbled gently, into his hair.
"Promise you'll never leave me Clare."
"Eli-I can't do that,"
"Please?" he looked up at her, green eyes pleading.
"Fine. I promise I won't ever leave you," she replied. He'd been through so much already, and she knew Fitz was a touchy topic, she'd say anything to get Eli to stop talking about it.
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
As she and Adam hurried out of the car and to the front door, she thought about the night of the accident. A month shy of her promising not to leave him, she did just that.
She hurried into the hospital, praying he was okay. She had been so stupid breaking up with him over the phone. While he was driving none the less.
"Where is he?" she questioned spotting Bullfrog talking to one of the nurses.
"Right through there. He'll be glad to see you," he replied.
Sure enough Eli was lying on a gurney, not moving. His eyes were closed and he was bruised and bloody. Was he dead? She wondered noticing the neck brace and the brace on his leg. This couldn't be happening.
It was then; she heard a groan and found the familiar emerald eyes. Instead of the worry she had expected she saw pure joy. Joy? That didn't make sense; he had just crashed his most prized possession.
"What did you do?" she whispered a look of disgust forming on her face.
"I crashed Morty," he replied a grin spreading across his face.
"Why."
"For you, you said you hated him,"
"I was mad; I said things I shouldn't have,"
"Well maybe you did mean it, you just didn't think you did, You're not mad now are you?" he questioned a smirk forming on his face. Her weakness.
"Eli, I'm furious. At myself because I was dumb enough to break up with you over the phone. But mainly at you, because you tried to kill yourself.
"I didn't try to kill myself. You wouldn't talk to me, so I went to drastic measures to get you to,"
Her mouth dropped.
"That's it, Eli we're done. I can't do this anymore; you're clingy, and manipulative. What you did was the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. How could you?" she choked out. She left the room only to hear Eli's pleas for her to stay.
As they reached the front porch, she heard frantic sobs coming from inside. There was a lot of shuffling as well.
"Eli?" Adam called out opening the front door. The lights were off, but the screams were still heard.
"Please. Not now. God I can't do this. I can't do this," A voice came from the darkness, it was pleading but there was nothing to plead with.
"Clare hit the lights," Adam murmured quietly.
"Dim them though," she nodded her head and did as asked.
There were no signs of Eli in the small living room, she noted as she and Adam quietly walked through the house, carefully looking for any signs of the boy.
The house went silent for a moment, before a terrified scream pierced the air.
"The kitchen," they both muttered at the same time. They ran as fast as they could, nearly tripping over Eli in the process. He lay curled up in a ball in front of the stove; eyes squeezed shut, body shaking. He looked broken.
"Oh my gosh," Clare whispered eyes widening in shock. This was not the Eli she knew.
"Eli? How ya doing?" Adam murmured gently, kneeling down on the cold linoleum floor. He placed a hand on his best friends arm. Eli looked up from his position, his eyes weary. The shaking didn't subside.
"T-terrible. I can't find the damn pills," he muttered tears running down his face again. He looked like a lost puppy, as he hid himself in Adam's lap. That was when she knew something wasn't right. NEVER would Eli Goldsworthy embrace his best friend the way he was now. He clung to him as though Adam would disappear if he didn't.
"Eli, I'm going to find your pills okay? Clare's right here, everything's gonna be okay, she's here to help me." He explained gently, easing out of Eli's vice grip. Eli's shaking immediately got worse, as he retreated back into his original ball shaped form.
"Just hold him, reassure him things are going to be okay, try and calm him down some. I'll only be a few minutes, so don't screw this up," Adam whispered coldly, before leaving the room.
She looked at the broken boy lying down on the floor.
"Eli," she called out gently crawling over to the boy. He didn't respond.
"Eli, I know you can hear me," she murmured rubbing small circles into his back. His shaking stopped for a moment, he froze.
"W-what are you doing here?" he croaked still in his original shape.
"I came to with Adam to help," she replied.
"It's not your job to fix me,"
"I know it's not. I'm here because I want to be Eli. Nobody is forcing me to help you. I want to. Do you think you could let me help?" she questioned.
There was an almost nonexistent nod of the head, signaling yes. She let out a breath of relief.
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
"Come here," she murmured gently, as he slowly uncurled himself from the ball, and buried himself in her lap. He seemed so helpless, so dependent. Not at all like the Eli she knew.
His shaking increased once more, the low mournful sobs started again as well.
"Sshh. Everything's alright now Eli. Adam and I are here, nobody's going to hurt you. All you have to do is calm down. Can you do that for me Eli? "comforting him didn't have the effect that she had wanted it to. His shaking increased. She began wracking her mind for anything she could use as a coping technique.
Then it hit her, she could sing. Back when they had dated, he had absolutely loved when she sang to him. He claimed her voice was the best one he'd heard. She didn't take it as a compliment because most of the music he listened to involved someone screaming out lyrics. As loudly as possible.
She ran her fingers through his matted down, raven hair. Sweaty as it was, it seemed to help him some. "Don't you dare look out your window darling Just close your eyes
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound"
She sang this quietly; it came out sounding better than she thought it would have. She hummed the tune over and over, feeling Eli's body relax into hers, she knew he was asleep. After what felt like hours, Adam returned with a pill bottle.
"I have the- how did you do that?" he questioned, his eyes widened at the sight of Eli sound asleep in her lap.
"Do what?"
"Calm him down to the point that he fell asleep. I've been around for these before, and it usually takes at least two pills, and Cece holding him for like 15minutes before anything happens. Even then he almost never falls asleep." Adam admitted flabbergasted.
"All I did was sing," she replied with a shrug of the shoulders.
"What time is it?" she questioned.
"Almost 11 why?"
"Well since he already fell asleep, why don't you help me get him upstairs to bed?" she suggested, moving the sleeping 17 year old off of her lap. She picked him up gently, careful not to bash his head on any cabinets. Adam supported him from the bottom, together the two managed to get Eli upstairs and into his bedroom. As she lay him down on the bed he began to stir.
"How are you feeling?" she questioned, brushing a few stray bangs out of his face. Blinking a few times he squinted at the bright overhead light.
"Better,"
"That's good, I'm going to take off, head back home," she murmured, seeing a look of panic flash across his face.
"Adam can stay with you tonight if you want," she added gently.
"Clare would you mind staying?" his eyes were pleading, just like that night in the hospital. She could make the decision to stay with him, take care of him this time, or she could do what she did at the hospital.
"Not at all," she replied a kind smile, spreading across her face.
"I'll be right back, I'm gonna call my mom, tell her I'm at Alli's, and then tell Adam he can go if he wants to. "she stood up, creeping down the stairs.
"Adam if you wanna go-"she stopped when she saw his figure slumped over on the couch, snoring loudly. Rolling her eyes she threw a blanket over him. Calling her mother on the phone, she left a message saying where she'd be and to call her on her cell.
Five minutes had passed before she made her way back upstairs to Eli. When she got there, he was asleep again. Slowly she pulled the sheets that had been discarded to the floor, up. Tucking them in, she pulled the comforter up as well.
Sitting in the desk seat next to the bed, she fell asleep quickly.
She woke up to a dark room, and someone calling out her name. It took a second for her to remember she was in Eli's room, therefor Eli was calling her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she murmured finding her way over to his king sized bed.
"Where were you I thought you left," he whimpered immediately burrowing himself into her.
"I was in the desk chair, I'm not leaving Eli," she murmured gently.
"Come on, let's go back to sleep," she suggested, crawling into the bed she lay beside him. She felt him wrap his arms around her, pulling her close. She didn't object to this, or him burying his face into her.
She began humming once more, feeling him relax against her. She smiled slightly,
"I've missed you Eli," she murmured, listening to his slow rhythmic breathing.
She wished he'd heard her, but she knew that he had fallen asleep.
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...