Disclaimer: Unfortunately and regrettably I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, but I am planning to lure Jack away with a lot of rum
Chapter 1 -The Jewel of Port Valease
"Bugger," Jack muttered "Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!"
Jack had never been good at avoiding trouble, in fact he was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, but this time it seems he was in a little over his head ('little' here means about 10 metres or so).
Ana - Maria scowled at her captain "I told ye not to mess with that Admiral, but oh-no, you're Captain Jack Sparrow aren't ye, ye thought everything would be tickety-boo!?!"
"Well I didn't think -"
"No, I know ye bleedin' didn't! Why else would we be locked in this bloody cell?"
"No, wait let me finish! I didn't think that you would be thick enough to get caught, honestly!" Jack says venomously.
"Well, sorry for me 'avin' faith in ye to distract the guards or at least the Admiral, but oh-no you can't even do that! Ooh, how I wish I had my stick!" Ana - Maria said slouching in the corner of the cell.
"What so you could hit me over the head with it?" Jack supposed, thinking how great it would be to break that friggin' stick of hers.
"Aye! It might knock some bleedin' sense into ye!"
(Ana - Maria had a special stick that she used to hit people with, namely Jack, when he was being a prat or if the crew were being particularly thick, being very annoying or just generally not getting on with stuff.)
Jack huffed and shut up, trying to find a comfortable place to sit on the slightly bumpy ground.
'It's all his fault anyway!' Ana - Maria thought.
3 days earlier
The Pearl smoothly sailed through the calm Caribbean waters towards Port Valease, with her Captain at the helm talking to his first and second mate.
"So, whilst I talk to him you go into the vault an' take the emerald as fast as you can and leg it outta there, after about an hour I'll excuse myself an' meet you back here as fast you can, got it? And you Gibbs make sure that the pearl is ready to make sail and look after it while I'm gone"
They both nodded, but Gibbs asked "But what's so special about this emerald, Capt'n?"
"This emerald will fit perfectly into the top of that little present Tia Dalma gave me!"
" Oo, you mean the shiny gold stick?" Ana - Maria asked
"Aye, but it isn't just any old gold stick."Jack said mysteriously.
"Are you going to tell us what's so special about the gold stick?"
"Maybe." Jack said airily, dismissing them both, but Ana - Maria came back and asked "Jack, what exactly are ye going to talk about for an hour with this guy?"
"First, my dear Ana - Maria, it's Captain, CAP-TAIN, say it."
"Cap-tain" Ana - Maria said with veiled sarcasm "So answer my question then."
"What question?" Ana- Maria now knew that Jack was doing this just to wind her up.
"About how you think you will be able to hold an intelligent conversation with the Admiral for an hour while I get the emerald." She said through slightly gritted teeth, thinking that now would be a great time to get out her stick.
"No worries there, luv, me an' Admiral Worthington go back along way."
Little Later
The Pearl was safely docked off the coast of Port Velease and Jack was making his way towards a large stately- home type house that stood over- looking the town. Soon enough he both reached the large, oak front doors and after three swift knocks, he was quickly ushered inside by an elderly butler and taken to the drawing room, where the Admiral waited.
Ana - Maria also made her path to the house, but instead of taking the path to the back door, she followed one to the left of the house, to the vaults. Kicking open the old wooden door violently, Ana - Maria crept into the darkness. Making her way through the thin passage, she soon came across a plain iron door, (the type that looked as though it hadn't been opened for decades and there was no chance of opening any time soon) with three different keyholes and another wooden door, with an old rusty lock, opposite.
Assuming that it was the metal door that opened into the vaults, Ana - Maria started to pick the first lock, on the left. After a short while she heard the lock open and began on the middle one. The middle one was far more trickier than the first one, but after 15 minutes of no avail it finally unlocked. The last one, as Ana - Maria expected, was the hardest to open, "Damn!" she cursed as both of the needles she was using to pick the lock snapped. She quickly took two hair pins out of her hair and attempted to use them. After another 20 minutes she started to panic, she only had 15 minutes left to go in, get the emerald and get out, back to the Pearl. Unthankfully her hard work paid off, when finally, after about another 5 minutes, the metal door opened full to reveal...
...a brick wall. "Shit! Well that was a bloody waste of time!" She had only 10 minutes left and still she hadn't found the vaults, nevermind the actual emerald, this wasn't going well. Spinning round, she faced the wooden door, wondering if that was, in fact, the vaults. Snapping out of her little daydream, Ana - Maria hastily opened the door by, again, kicking it in.
The door flew into the large octagonal room it opened into. On each wall were 8 different metal doors. "Great! Which one do I open then, I've only got 5 minutes!" she questioned out-loud, "Ok, there's only one way to do this... Ip, dip, sky blue, granny sitting on the loo, singing songs, dropping bombs, out goes you!" she said pointing at each door as she said the words (me: do you get that? It's fairly hard to explain!). Swiftly moved to the last door she picked and hurriedly picked the lock. Pushing open the door, she ran into the room and Ana - Maria's face lit up when she saw that, indeed, she picked the right door. In the middle of the darkened room she saw, standing on a marble stand, a beautiful, bright green emerald. Quickly stuffing it in her pocket, Ana - Maria ran out of the room, though the wooden door and along the passage way and straight into two guards.
Meanwhile Jack was sitting in the magnificent drawing room of the mansion, listening to the Admiral, who had talked none stop for the last hour about everything from flowers to ships, all from the one question Jack asked when they first sat down "So, how are ye, mate?"
Jack had got so bored that he had started to count how many trees he could see out of the window. Suddenly he saw Ana - Maria sprinting across the freshly manicured lawns, followed by 2 burly guards. Being so intent on watching Ana - Maria running, Jack nearly fell out of his chair, whilst following her with his eyes. Noticing Jack was staring out of the window rather than listening to him, the Admiral turned to look out of the window, but lucky Jack turned his attention back to the Admiral before he fully turned round.
"Ha!" Jack shouts at him, getting the Admirals attention back to him and away from the window, "Ha - How did you manage to become Admiral then?"
"Well," said the Admiral, turning back to Jack, "After the battle of Foxup." 'Hallelujah!' Jack thought, thankful that he had got the Admiral talking again.
'Oh SHIT!' Jacks thoughts went from good to bad as he saw one of the guards leaping onto Ana-Maria's back, pinning her to the ground. "Well, mate, as much I like this little reunion, I must return into my ship." Jack said quickly, hoping to get out of there before the guards brought in Ana-Maria, who was currently having her hands shackled together.
The Admiral looked dissappointed, mostly because Jack had interrupted him, not because Jack was leaving "Well, if you must! But remember, come back anytime for a little chat!" Both the Admiral and Jack rose from their seats, gave each other a manly hand-shake and walked out of the drawing room and into the reception room where waiting for them were...
... the guards with Ana - Maria. A look of horror came across Jacks face, but went as quick as it came.
"What's this then?" the Admiral addressed the guards.
"This wench was trying to steal that emerald, Sir." said the guard on the left, trying to stop Ana - Maria squirming out of his grip.
"Well you're a brave lass, I'll give you that!" he said circling her as if they were wild animals, and she was his prey "Well, what's your reason for attempting to take such a fine jewel?"
"I was given orders to get it from my captain." she said with a small smile. Jack glared at her, almost telling her not to put him in it, but she just stared defiantly at the Admiral.
"And who is said captain?"
"Captain Jack Sparrow."
Present Day (as the day the story started, not as in today, today, obviously)
"Ye know ye didn't 'ave to say I wa' ye captain ye know!"
"Well, if I was going down I was taking you with me!
"Umm, well, thanks a lot, luv! Now we're both inside a cell, without anyone to save us 'cause the crew is floating a mile off shore. An' of course it's much better now rather than before when you could have been in the cell on your own an' then I broke you out. Honestly, Ana- Maria, think ahead next time!" Jack said quickly, in nearly one breath, slowly getting louder so that the last sentence was in fact a yell.
"Sorry." Ana - Maria said in a small voice.
Soon a silence filled the cell as both the occupants fell into a restless sleep.