Slow
Carlos had always been a slow one. Whether it was getting a bad grade over and over again or having Logan help him for hours to no avail. It just ate in the back of Carlos's mind that he was not good enough. Sure he was a goof ball and all, but he wanted to be at least average intelligence wise.
He so desperately wanted to change himself, yet there was something else in there that he wanted to get out. He felt like he could do it so well, but that thing, his stupidity, was holding him back. This stupidity was the thing that got him a various amount of insults in the childhood years. "Hey, look at that retard he even wears a helmet." Or, "What does he even wear that helmet for, there's nothing to protect." These were just some of the seer volume of insults that he felt every single day.
Sure it got better in the later years, but was it all for good? Did he really feel as though he had accomplished something with his time? No. Carlos felt as though he had no progressed whatsoever since the third grade. He could not even do geometry in his senior year of high school for Christ's shake. This had to stop and Carlos knew it had to as well.
He could stand all of the insults any longer; he did not want to force Logan to stay up long hours with him just so that he could get something. He was going to change himself! But how was he to do it, was he the best man for the job. Surely he was not given his track record, but there had to be some way. There had to some kind of tunnel out of this cycle of the abyss.
Carlos thought, and thought, and thought, and thought, and thought. Nothing. That was all he could get, nothing. Nothing was the only thing that Carlos could see when it came to intellectual properties. Carlos was frightened by this nothingness, so deeply frightened that he could see his future staring right back at him. He at the age of 18 was concerned that he had no time left.
He had to do something with his life or it would go from bad to worse very soon. Carlos panicked, and panicked, and panicked until he was almost crying over the seer volume of nothingness that weighed down upon him. Then, a thought.
The thought was that what if you think about the abyss so much that it stares back at you. This is what the abyss is, it an entity all its own. Carlos now realized that you don't have to please anyone other than yourself. And he then realized that he did need to have a degree from Harvard Law to be the normal guy. He only needed to show himself more and hope that even though he was slow, the rush of his personality would be the best part of him that others would see.
A's N: This is another little poetry thing, I am trying to do one for every guy, and James's should be easy, but I am torn on Kendall's. Thank you for the feedback from the last one, I will hope to continue with my one shots and maybe a long story in the future! Please review as is the norm on this site.