I can never understand her…
"Duzie! It's time for my magic lesson. Could you transform into me and ace it? Okay, don't ace it…that'll look suspicious…okay, how about-"
I a twist of smoke I turned into my powerful form, pushing my face close to hers. My white hair whipped to one side as I turned.
"No way Ishtar. You get in enough trouble failing those tests, why would I cheat for you?"
"Ah, I guess you're right. I hate it when you're right."
When she laughs, I look away. I can't seem to concentrate. I feel weak.
What has she done to me? I want to pull all my hair out!!
She is always asking questions that she doesn't think imply anything. It drives me mad!
"Hey Duzie, what kind of gifts do vampires get their lovers?" she asks innocently.
"What in blazes do you mean by that?" I ask, uncertain.
"You're pretty sophisticated when you act like a vampire-"
"I am a vampire…"
"Right, so what do you get each other?"
I think it through to some extent. I really am trying to think about it, but it's…how you say…awkward.
"Well, traditionally, we give each other gifts like jewelry or fragrances of nature, but other times, we give each other our own blood when we're serious."
"Ew! Duzie, I can't give Darres my blood!! Well I could, but-No!!"
There she goes again, on and on about Darres. She says she loves him. Of course she'd want to give him a gift. The most she's given me was some hot cocoa, but that was only after she melted it down from Darres' valentine's chocolate. I drank it, watching over her as she slept in vain. I had never had chocolate before that. It was sweet, yet bitter.
I sat on the stool in front of the vanity mirror, looking away. She was going on about what to get Darres, and I sighed absently. She must have noticed.
"Oh, don't be jealous. I'll get a gift for you, because you're my little Duzie-Woozy." she laughed, scratching my ear. It felt heavenly, but she would just laugh and keep doing it if I told her that.
She was always treating me like a pet or a girlfriend. Now I know how Seiliez must have felt. At least for the girlfriend part. I don't know who's pet he is, if he's into that kind of thing. For once, I want her to see me as the powerful being I am, to revere me, to fear me, to love- wait…what?
I don't know what I'm thinking. Do I love her?
I am weak because of her love for me, even if it's just the kind of love a girl has for her friend or pet. I once thought I loved her, but when I tried to tell her, I was interrupted. It seems like that happens a lot around here.
'Ishtar, why do you love Darres?'
That's all I could think as a starry-eyed Ishtar went on with her life.
She could never accept my love, if I ever accepted it myself. She always had suitors. She rejected them, but mostly because they were just after her throne. She knew I would never want her just for her power, right? Darres never even pays attention to her unless she was in mortal peril. She gets in trouble on purpose. I know it's true, damn her.
Darres has no place in her life.
I just wish she would love me.
Love me Ishtar, like you would Darres…
Damn him…