Understanding

by The Purple Warlock

A Kitty fanfiction because these two need to be happy. Kit and Ty think they understand themselves and their worlds, but life decides to shake everything up, meaning that they no longer understand what they used to. They need each other to work out where they need each other to ease their confusion. Friendships and relationships follow. P.O.V's from both Kit and Ty.

1. Chapter 1

I own nothing but the plot

***Ty P.O.V***

I like to understand things. When faced with something I do not understand something, I like to solve it, just as Sherlock Holmes would. I don't like not knowing, especially when I had thought I had understood it, but something happens which makes me uncertain again. I thought I understood myself as well as anyone could. I knew my name was Tiberius Nero Blackthorn, but everyone called me Ty. I knew that I was 15, had black hair and grey eyes. I knew that I had an older brother called Jules, a twin sister called Livvy, a younger sister called Dru and a younger brother called Tavvy, who were all Shadowhunters like me. I knew that I had two half-siblings called Mark and Helen who were Half-fey. Helen had been sent to Wrangle Island to "study the Wards" (that's what the clave said, we knew it was exile) and Mark had spent the last five years with the wild hunt, but had recently come back to us and was struggling to being a Shadowhunter after so long with the faeries. I knew that I wanted to study at the Scholomance, but nobody else wanted me to. I knew that I was different from everyone else.

I thought I knew why I was different: I got overwhelmed when things got too much, I didn't like people touching me, I didn't like fighting (I fought when it was necessary), I liked to study animals with bees being my favourite, I needed music and the various tangle toys that Jules had made me when I was younger to help me calm down and focus. Although these things still stood, they still made me different, Kit Herondale made me question whether there was another reason I was different. I had been around enough who had been in a relationship or had had a crush on someone to know about those sorts of feelings. It was these feelings I felt I was developing towards Kit. One of my differences is that I struggle to look people in the eye. When I had held my knife the Kits thought, I had really struggled with this. I had put it down to the fact I was confronting someone whom I had never met before. But when I couldn't stop thinking about the blueness of his eyes, or how his hair had fallen on his face, or how his voice had sounded, or the fact I was currently sitting outside the room he had hidden in, it made me question whether that really had been the reason I had struggled to look him in the eye.

Livvy would know if I was developing those feelings for Kit, but I found myself too scared to ask her. The last thing I wanted was to make myself feel even more alienated from my family. Shadowhunters don't like difference, so the more things that make you different, the less they like you. I remembered the reaction they had in the early days of Alec Lightwoods relationship to Magnus Bane, but they seemed happy to overlook this detail when Alec had helped save the world. I knew people looked down their noses at the fact that Helen had married Aline. I don't doubt the fact that if people found out about Marks relationship with Kieran (a male and a faerie) there would be some kind of an uproar. I knew if I did have those feelings for Kit, I too would face the homophobic prejudice of the Shadowhunters, which would be horrible. There was also another slight issue: I was a Shadowhunter and Kit had been raised to hate and fear us, seeing us as some kind of enemy. I also had no idea to which gender Kit took his fancy from, and if he did lean towards boys, I was probably the last boy he would choose.

As Kit had hidden himself in a room and had refused to come out (all we saw of him was a hand to grab the plate of food that had been left outside his room, then again to return the plate once he was finished eating) I had resorted to sitting outside his room and refusing to move. I will work out the mystery of Kit Herondale, and work out whatever feelings I may or may not have towards him. People told me to give up, to do something else, but I didn't want to. Partly because I was investigating, partly because I was stubborn and when people told me I shouldn't do something it made me want to do it more and partly because I knew that Kit felt alone in the world, and as I knew that feeling all too well, I wanted to know that he wasn't. He had someone there for him.