Disclaimer

Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended. I know nothing and I own nothing.

Prologue

The great hall was a buzz. Everyone was talking excitedly and quite loudly about something. Albus Dumbledore (is not dead) raised from his seat at the high table and shouted: "SILENCE!"

The noise died down immediately and the eyes of the entire student's body glued to Dumbledore who in turn smiled benignly.

"Children, as I see, you have already heard the news. Our ministry has decided to impose a new marriage law to ensure the survival of the wizarding kind. As you know a lot of people died during the war (it's over, Harry defeated Voldemort) and there was also a great number of squibs born last year for yet an unknown reason, so the ministry is ordering everyone from the age of seventeen to seventy to marry immediately."

At this, the noise started to grow again as children were trying to show their disagreement.

"However," the voice of Dumbledore was trying to break through the noise, "the ministry is aware of the fact that not everyone is in a position to find a partner at such a short notice," at this Dumbledore glanced at the sullen potions master, "so to avoid embarrassment of those individuals a special squads of highly trained ministry officials is being sent out with the task of matching people in to couples. This will be done through performing various tests and conducting interviews. One of these squads will be joining us tomorrow morning here at Hogwarts. Those of you who are already in a relationship will have an option to attend the interviews and to take the tests or not, depending on how happy you are with your current arrangements," at this Dumbledore chuckled. "And now children I bid you good night."

With that the dinner ended, teachers left the Great Hall and so did the students. But that night no one found sleep.

Chapter 1

The next morning came too soon and with it the horrible realization of previous night's events.

"Aaahhhhh!!!" The piercing sound was echoing through the Gryffindor tower awakening its inhabitants.

"Shut up Weasley!" Dean Thomas snapped, turning around in his bed and pulling the covers tightly around him.

"Yeah shut up, it's not even six o'clock yet," Neville managed to say trough his slumber.

Ronald Weasley was sitting rigid on his bed, all the colour drained from his face.

On the bed next to his, Harry Potter "the boy who lived twice" was rubbing his eyes before putting his glasses on and giving his friend a worrying look.

"Bloody hell, I thought I dreamt it all," exclaimed Ron breathlessly.

Harry just sat on his bed in silence as if contemplating their predicament before shrugging his shoulders.

"No, afraid not," he said resignly "it seems that by the end of this month we shall be married men."

Ron just stared at his friend not quite believing what he just heard.

"So that's it, you're not even gonna complain, not gonna scream injustice to Dumbledore's face? You'll just accept which ever partner they choose for you and be content?!" Ron was again screaming, much to his roommates' annoyance.

Harry was now sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed, trying to tie the laces of his sneakers, but could not for some reason form a satisfying knot. Finally giving up and stuffing the laces inside his sneakers, he turned around to face Ron.

"Look, I could moan and cry about this grave injustice, I could attack Dumbledore and ask for explanations, or simply trash his office again, I could join the order of resistance that Hermione will undoubtedly organize or I could just kill myself, but the thing is I don't feel like fighting anymore."

Ron was just staring at his friend, speechless, so Harry continued. "And no I won't be content to marry just about anyone, as it happens I already got someone."

"Who?" Ron wanted to know.

"Ginny."

"Who?"

"Ginny."

"Ginny who?"

"Ginny, your sister Ginny."

"You get your hands off of my sister!" Ron shouted, launching himself on Harry. But Harry was quicker so Ron ended up slamming face down on the hard stone floor.

"You bloody traitor," Ron was holding his bleeding nose with his left hand and helping himself up with his right hand. "How can you do this to me?"

"I am not doing anything to you. If I don't marry her, someone else will, if not this year than the next. At least you know I'll treat her right." And with this Harry left the room, slamming the door behind him so hard that one of the Chudley Cannons' beaters fell out of the picture.

"You know Ron, you shouldn't look at this so negatively," the somewhat frightened voice of Neville Longbottom declared.

Ron just gave him the "what the fuck, not you too" look, turned on his heels and went for showers, red drops of blood following his steps.

"I'm gonna get married," Neville mumbled burying his head under the warm covers, "Gran will be so relived."

When the time for breakfast came, all the hungry students hurried to the Great Hall, all but Hermione, she off course, hurried to the library. Since Madam Pince was known for never missing breakfast in the Great Hall, Hermione was confident that she was gonna have the library all to herself. Despite her confidence though, her steps were slow and careful in the treading the old library floors. Just as she was about to enter the restricted section she heard voices.

"But I thought you love me?" an angry voice was accusing.

"I do dearest ... forever... times are insecure ... "

She couldn't hear the muffled voice of the other person, but as the first person was starting to speak again, Hermione froze, finally recognizing its owner.

"I don't care how dangerous the times are in that hell hole you call home, I'm telling you how dangerous this new law is. They are about to force me into marriage with some random old hag, and knowing my luck it will be Sibyl Trelawney. Are you prepared to lose me forever, because I'm telling you, wizard marriages are not familiar with the concept of a divorce?"

Oh my God, it was the voice of Severus Snape, the most dreaded professor at school and he was discussing his private life with someone, possibly his lover, in the school library. And Hermione Granger, a Head Girl, was eavesdropping on him. Hermione started to shake uncontrollably; from the tips of her fuzzy hair to the heels of her shiny red shoes. Should she leave, hide, what? She couldn't move; she felt as if someone has glued her to the spot, and the voice, the other one, was still talking.

"...this evening...not too long...trust...spanking..."

"Arghhhh!" Hermione screamed involuntarily and made to dash out of the room but two strong masculine arms on her shoulders stopped her.

"Eavesdropping are we, Miss Granger?" Snape's voice was dripping with malice. "That will cost you dearly, my little Gryffindor know it all. I think five hundred points from Gryffindor shall suffice?" he raised an eyebrow at her as if saying "do complain, make my day."

But Hermione knew better though. "Yes sir, sorry sir," she mumbled, retreating from him backwards and slamming in to the shelf behind her. Several books toppled down and Snape yelled, "And a hundred points for your clumsiness."

Hermione turned around and ran for the exit.

"And another hundred for that noise your shoes are producing," Snape spat through his barred teeth.

"Don't you think that was a bit to harsh, my love?" the other voice asked.

"Shut up and be there at ten!" With that, Snape shut the book he was holding in his hands and shoved it back in its place on the far left, right above the, Wizarding Fashion through the Ages and Why It Didn't Change?, and next to the, Alice in Wonderland: The Hazardous Effect of Cheering Charms on Muggles Finally, he stalked out of the library out on the chill of the Hogwarts halls.

"Where have you been Hermione, I've been looking all over for you?" Ron was whining.

"And it never occurred to you to look for me in the library?" she asked, looking at him almost sadly.

"You know I can't go there, I have allergies," Ron said.

When he turned his head around, Hermione was already chatting with Harry at the table. "Oy, 'scuse me, don't I get to hear what you found out about this law?" Ron quickly made to squeeze himself between his friends.

"Nothing," Hermione said turning her attention back to Harry.

"But..." Ron wanted to protest about something but the words just didn't come to him.

Finally Hermione got up and left the table and Ron skittered even closer to Harry, making him slightly nervous; he already rejected several marriage proposals from both sexes, and he really didn't want to offend his best friend. He was relived when Ron just asked, "What was that all about?" and then quickly started piling food on his plate.

"That was Hermione being angry at you for not popping the question yet," Harry answered, watching his best friend trying to squeeze three potatoes in his mouth at once.

Ron stopped, looked at his friend and promptly started choking on potatoes. "What?"

"Look buddy, you need to think about what is it you want to do? Do you want Hermione? Do you love Hermione? Do you want to try your chances with someone else? See what the squad considers your perfect mate, in which case, I just might wring your neck? But you definitely need to act soon." With that Harry got up from the table leaving Ron to think about his words and to wipe off potato crumbs from his chin.

"I didn't even ask him about Ginny," Ron remembered and almost followed Harry out of the Hall but then realized he could do that later, so he continued to attack his breakfast and mule over Harry's words.

Snape was pacing his lavishly furnished living room for the last hour, completely unaware of the two figures huddled under the invisibility cloak, next to the big green cauldron he had been given last Christmas. The cauldron still had a huge red ribbon plastered on the front, a clear sign Severus still couldn't forgive his mother for abandoning him. Even now, potions master's eyes drifted to it every time he had his back turned in its direction. Just when Harry tried to change position of his leg, so it didn't hit Hermione's head every time he inhaled, he noticed his professor stopping right above them, and both he and Hermione froze out of fear. Snape however, had his eyes, not on them but on the red ribbon adorning the cauldron. Suddenly, Snape reached for the ribbon, snatched it away and threw it on the floor. And then he stomped his foot on it, several times in quick succession. Then he went for the door, slamming it shut behind him.

"Fuck, that was close!" Hermione said and Harry nodded in agreement. But just when they were about to pull the cloak away a loud bang was heard. Snape was back in the room. With three large steps he crossed the distance from the door to the cauldron, bent down and retrieved the crumpled ribbon and after some careful smoothing placed it in its original position. "Damn you!" he sad, as he straightened his robes and exited the room again.

Harry and Hermione tried to follow him through the Hogwarts halls but after some time they gave up. Snape was moving to quickly and by the time they exited the room he was already nowhere to be seen. On the third floor they ran in to Ron who was just returning from his Quidditch practice.

"Oy, Ron!" they called out for him.

"Oy!" he returned, looking around after the source of the mysterious voices.

"Ron, over here!" they tried again.

"Show yourselves, guys," he pleaded when he felt a strong blow to his ankle.

"How rude!" he managed to say, before he was pulled inside the cloak.

It was a bit crowded under the cloak so bits and pieces were hanging out, but the trio continued their quest.

"Oh, I know where he is!" Hermione exclaimed after their third jog around the castle.

"Where?" guys asked.

"I bet he is in the library, that's where he is meeting with his...er... friend," Hermione finished lamely.

After some minutes, they found him in the library, reading a book.

They couldn't read the title of the book from where they were standing, but it had to be quite an interesting one, since their professor appeared to be arguing with it.

"Must be some Greek tragedy or perhaps Hamlet or some other Shakespearian work. He should have been an actor," Hermione mused, much to her friends' puzzlement.

"Yeah, a porn star," Harry offered after Snape began, first caressing and then kissing the pages of the book.

"What a pervert and Dumbledore lets him teach children. It's disgusting," Ron looked as if he was going to puke.

"He should be put away for a long..."

"He should be put down," Ron cut Harry.

"Shut up guys, I think he might be leaving."

Just as Hermione finished her sentence, Snape closed the book and carefully returned it to its place on the shelf.

"Oh my God, guys did you see that, did you?" she looked at Harry and Ron hopefully, but they just kept staring at her like she was nuts.

"You didn't see that?" she was really disappointed now.

"Seen what, Hermione?" Harry asked tenderly.

"Hmm..." she was getting insecure now about what she had seen, "I thought I've seen a lock of golden hair get caught between the pages but I'm not sure any more."

"So what would that mean; that Snape has a crush on a picture in a book? Sick bastard, that one," Ron barely managed to finish the sentence when Harry burst out with laughter.

"Come on guys; let's see what book made our potions master behave like a lovesick puppy."

They pulled of the cloak and followed Hermione.

"What the fuck? Snape is getting off on the Little Red Riding Hood and the Perks of Transfiguration" Harry was holding a small book in his hands with a disgusted expression on his face.

"Who the fuck is the little red riding hood?" asked a confused Ron moving closer to Harry for a better view of the book.

"No you idiots, you're looking at the wrong shelf. Look over here," Hermione motioned for them to follow her lead.

"What are these?" Harry was curious.

"These, Harry, are the most ancient books known to man and wizard alike and they hold the most ancient knowledge and the most ancient powers of all the existence on this world and the one beneath and beyond. There are extremely valuable and quite priceless. No one has ever been able to decipher them; some even think they are just fiction. I can't believe they are in Hogwarts possession."

"Why are they so valuable if no one knows what they are about, I mean maybe they are just fiction?" Ron asked and Harry had to admire his logic.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron, of course they are not fiction. Would Dumbledore keep them here if they were?" Hermione was hard to confuse.

"Well he keeps Snape, doesn't he?" tried Ron and Harry was again impressed and he rushed to help his friend; "Dumbledore keeps Barbara Cartland novels in his office and I can't imagine these being worse than that," he finished, giving Ron thumps up.

"Seriously guys, if you think Snape's been coming here for some hot lovin with a peace of paper you are as daft as I ever thought you were." At that Hermione's statement, Harry and Ron just looked at each other dumbly.

"And what of it?" they finally asked.

"Look, Snape is up to something! I just know it," Hermione was starting to lose her patience. "Are you seriously telling me you aren't up for some investigation?" That was her last trump card. And they fell for it.

"Sure," Harry and Ron said in unison, "why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"Instead of pestering us with history and...stuff," Ron continued.

"OK, let's go guys, lots of work ahead," Hermione was heading for the exit when Ron stopped her.

"What?" she asked, annoyed.

"Hm...I just wanted you to know...hm...about..." Ron was stuttering but Harry knew where this was headed so he retreated to a far corner with the Little Red Riding Hood in his hands.

"Go on Ron, I haven't got all day, we've got a pile of homework to do," Hermione was trying to hurry him.

"What I wanted to say is...hm..."

"Oh just say it Ronald!" she didn't want to shout at him but this was getting ridiculous.

"I wanted to say that I love you and I wanted to know whether you'll consider marrying me and making me the happiest bloke in England," Ron said that really fast and was still panting when Hermione threw her hands around his neck nearly suffocating him. "Of course I will Ron, of course I will."

Harry watched them from his corner, satisfied, but when it became apparent to him that they won't stop just at hugging he made a quick dash through the back door, completely forgetting about the Little Red Riding Hood still tucked under his arm.