Author's Note: This is a different take on a Trip/T'Pol relationship. I don't know why, but all these dark relationship ideas keep coming to me. Not dark in the sense that it's S & M or something like that, just not perfect, and not always nice. The characters belong to Paramount, I just play with them. If you read it, review it!

XXX

"Have you found your deep space friend with benefits?" Malcolm asked his friend as they sat waiting for T'Pol and Kirkland to finish their ropes training.

"Isn't that old school Mal?" Trip chuckled as he re-checked his harness. "I heard the new term was quantum dating."

"Quantum dating, huh?" Malcolm said thoughtfully.

"If you're going to get someone to bang boots with you for five years you may want to familiarize yourself with the terminology, my friend," Trip chuckled as he rubbed at his mouth.

"You still haven't answered my question," Malcolm noted. "We leave in two weeks and I haven't noticed you getting close to anyone in particular…although there are a few women who have asked around about you…"

"Not interested," Trip said with a shake of his head.

"Things with T'Pol ended almost a year ago," Malcolm noted as he turned to watch her taking off her harness some forty feet away. "I know it was hard, especially with Elizabeth but…"

"It's more complicated than that, Mal," Trip sighed.

"You're not still in love with her, are you?" Malcolm asked.

"No, it's not that," Trip sighed. "We're finally friends again, good friends, and…and I just…I don't want more complications…"

"You think she'll be upset if you find someone else? Mate, she had her chance. She can't deny you…"

Trip shook his head as he watched T'Pol help Kirkland get free of her harness as well. "As I said before, it's more complicated than that."

Malcolm studied his friend for a moment and realized that the whole conversation was making him uncomfortable. He remembered them together, and they seemed so…happy. Well, maybe happy is not the word because they argued so much, but they seemed good for each other. Then Elizabeth happened, and they got even closer, closed ranks and kind of pushed everyone else away.

And three months after that, T'Pol took a leave to Vulcan and Trip was a mess. He lost weight, became a bit of a recluse and was so incredibly quiet. She returned and things were so awkward that Malcolm was sure one of them was transferring, but months of awkwardness finally eased and they became friends again. Today, he would characterize them as good friends, possibly, best friends.

"Why didn't I get invited to the ceremony?" Malcolm asked, deciding to take a run at humor instead.

"Ceremony?" Trip asked confused as he watched the instructor beckon them over and exchanged a look with T'Pol that Malcolm and the rest of the crew still couldn't quite characterize.

"When you joined the priesthood," Malcolm snickered as he stood and playfully smacked Trip on the back.

"Hardy har har," Trip mocked as he too stood and walked with Malcolm toward the instructor.

XXX

"Really?" Heather asked as she leaned in a little. "I haven't seen a star system react like that before."

"It was pretty amazing to see," Trip chuckled as he took another forkful of pasta. "You'll have the chance to see even more amazing things in the five years we'll be out there."

"I'm not looking forward to the re-sequenced food," Kerri said as she took another bite of her French bread.

"It's actually not that bad," Hoshi said with a smile. "But some dishes you want to stay away from."

"Never eat the squash," Trip cautioned them.

"Or the lima beans," Hoshi added.

"The egg noodles are not palpable," T'Pol contributed.

"Or the Yorkshire pudding," Malcolm grimaced. "I'll never make that mistake again."

Heather laughed heartily at that. "I hate it to begin with, so there was no worry there."

"A Brit who doesn't like Yorkshire pudding?" Malcolm asked flabbergasted. "You're going to have to prove you were born in England because it is quite impossible that you are a Brit and you don't like that!"

"If you'd eaten my Gran's you'd understand!" Heather said loudly as she laughed.

"That's it," Malcolm said as he pulled out a PADD. "I'm taking you to eat a proper Yorkshire pudding before we launch. I couldn't bear you going five more years thinking it was inedible."

"I'd like that," Heather smiled at him.

Hoshi exchanged a look with Trip that indicated Malcolm was putting the moves on Heather.

"Is that Travis?" Trip asked as he spotted their Helmsman across the Starfleet cafeteria.

"Yes, that's Megan with him, she's on my security team," Malcolm said as he looked over his shoulder. "I hear they're quantum dating."

Eyebrows lifted around the table and Trip shook his head; leave it to Malcolm to discover a new sex term and use it two days later in mixed company.

"Quantum dating?" T'Pol inquired, confused.

"Don't worry about it," Trip muttered.

"I haven't heard that term before," T'Pol insisted despite the look from Trip that was asking her to 'drop it'. "In physics, it's a discrete amount of energy proportionate to…"

"There's energy involved alright," Hoshi laughed.

"Megan seems older than him…by a good ten years," Heather noted. "Super fit though."

"I still don't see how one can quantum date," T'Pol insisted.

Suddenly everyone stopped and looked at her, then Malcolm and Hoshi looked toward Trip.

Trip sighed and sat back in his chair a bit.

"T'Pol, it's sort of friends with benefits?" Hoshi explained.

"It is a five-year mission…" Kerri added.

T'Pol's eyebrows knitted.

"It's when you are 'dating' someone but not in a romantic sense," Malcolm hedged.

"Well, it could be romantic," Kerri inserted. "But no…obligations."

"I still do not under…" T'Pol started.

"They're sleeping together T'Pol," Trip said rather loudly. "Not involved in anything other than monogamous sex. No…emotions"

Everyone looked at Trip a little taken aback and the table became suddenly quiet.

"I understand now, thank you," T'Pol said, somewhat sheepishly.

Feet shuffled under the table and Heather cleared her throat.

"Let me get these back," Trip said as he stood and picked up a few dishes before he left the table.

T'Pol, feeling very un-Vulcan and awkward, decided to assist.

"I'll assist Commander Tucker," T'Pol said as she gathered a few trays. "Enjoy your afternoon off."

Everyone nodded and left the table quietly. T'Pol could hear their conversation start again when they were about ten feet away. She sighed and looked at Trip, waiting to pay for his coffee at the cashier.

She carried the trays over and placed them on the proper rack before she took the opportunity to observe him again. She had not handled that well at all. The truth was, she had heard his conversation with Lieutenant Reed at the ropes training two days ago. She had immediately felt his discomfort over their bond and tuned into the conversation across the room. It wasn't the most ethical choice, but she hadn't felt that much discomfort from him in a long time. She knew, after she searched human vernacular for 'knocking boots' and the sub-text of their conversation, what quantum dating was. Her inquiry today was to gauge his interest in it; she had her answer. The anger she felt coming across their bond as the conversation continued told her enough.

Nine months ago, she had proposed something similar and he had rejected her. The emotional commitment to him, considering the loss of their daughter, his sister and her mother, was stifling. Three months together had told her she could not, at the time, handle an emotional commitment to him. She was still effected by Trellium-D and her reading of Surak had caused her to question the very essence of what it meant to be a Vulcan. Involving herself with an emotional and grieving human was too much for her to handle.

She had tried to ease the situation by offering him a purely physical relationship. She hadn't ever seen him that upset before. In her mind, it was a logical compromise and one she thought he'd see the value of. They could help each other physically heal, alleviate stress, and overcome their losses, while taking a break from the emotional turmoil that they were creating. He didn't see it that way at all. She just needed some time to compartmentalize her…

"They all left?" Trip asked her, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Yes," T'Pol replied quickly.

"I better get to my invoices then," Trip sighed as he started to walk away. He stopped when he noticed she wasn't walking with him. "T'Pol?"

"I apologize for making you upset," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

He closed his eyes briefly and looked down at his feet shaking his head, "It's fine. I shouldn't have…over-reacted."

"I know why you did," T'Pol said as she stepped a little closer to him.

"It's fine. I'm fine," Trip said as he raised his head and gave her a small smile. "Are we fine?"

"I believe so," T'Pol answered.

"Good," Trip sighed. "Do you think the Captain is going to get that relay he's been lobbying for?"

T'Pol fell into step beside him.

"By placing it on every invoice, I'm sure someone will miss it, and merely send it with their supplies," T'Pol replied.

"You've gotta give him points for creativity," Trip chuckled as he held the door for her to go through.

XXX

"I just got my hand slapped over that relay," Jon chuckled in his senior staff meeting. "But they can take it up with me in five years, I guess."

The people around the table chuckled. It was their first meeting since they had left dock and the atmosphere was relaxed and optimistic.

"Thank you for filing your reports, and we'll keep up with the monthly meetings from each department until such a time as we deem them unnecessary."

"Unnecessary?" T'Pol inquired.

"A five-year mission can be exciting, but less…eventful," Jon said. "If my meeting with the Science department is essentially the same after a few months, maybe we'll make them bi-monthly, for instance."

"Seems reasonable," Trip said.

"Only because you hate your monthly reports," Malcolm said.

"Is there anyone that loves them?" Trip asked.

All people around the table looked towards T'Pol.

"Besides T'Pol, I mean," Trip added.

"Oh Hoshi, did you want to tell them about the language courses?" Jon asked.

"Yes, Heather and I are offering language courses in Klingon and Vulcan to start and…"

"When are these courses offered?" T'Pol inquired.

"Don't worry they won't interfere with your 'fun' genome project," Trip muttered.

"The genome project is quite interesting and offered Friday evenings at 19:00 hours and I'd hate to deny anyone the opportunity to learn Vulcan because the courses coincide."

"I doubt you'll have any worries there," Jon said as he cleared his throat. "Friday night is reserved for the science department."

There were a couple of muffled snickers around the table.

"I'll explain later," Trip whispered to her.

"So, Starfleet wants us to offer cross-departmental course, which most of you have submitted and had approved," Jon eyed Trip.

"I'm working on it," Trip sighed. "It's not my fault they didn't approve the two I submitted."

"There were significant safety concerns," Jon smiled at his friend.

"I'll think of something boring we can teach everyone, like replacing a fuse. Bet they'd approve that," Trip whined.

"Anyways, Starfleet also proposed department inter-mural sports and I'm looking towards all of you to get your personnel involved," Jon explained.

"What's the first sport?" Phlox asked.

Jon looked toward the PADD in front of him and sighed. "They have badminton listed."

"Badminton?" Trip grimaced. "That's not a sport."

"Badminton is most definitely a sport," T'Pol said as she turned to face him better. "It was first played on Earth in ancient Greece and similar sports with varying rules and, sometimes longer histories, are played on many planets. On Vulcan, it is called Poona and on…"

"Okay, officially, it's a sport," Trip hedged. "But unofficially it's a yawn-fest."

"Then allow Science to claim the victory and we can move on to the next sport," T'Pol said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Game on," Trip said with a smirk.

"Well, now that we have established that Science and Engineering will be involved in badminton, can I count on Communications, Security and Navigation?"

"Yes, sir," everyone else answered.

"Commander Russell would also like to offer psychological counselling to personnel, as it is part of her portfolio and expertise," Phlox added. "Starfleet will have access to the records, but only their psychologists. No information will be used for promotions or job applications so it's confidential, in a sense."

"Kerri is covered by doctor patient confidentiality so anything you say to her, unless it presents a danger to the crew or yourself, will not be shared with me or any other staff," Jon added.

"Anything I've missed?" Jon turned to ask T'Pol.

"The staff fraternization policy," T'Pol said.

"Oh yes, as predicted, Starfleet has lifted their frat rules for the five-year mission, recognizing that five years is a long time to be…without company. I think we'll be used as a test mission for killing the policy altogether, because, as the Cyclone pointed out in their 6-part documentary, asking personnel that are in peak physical condition and the prime of their lives to be celibate is asking the impossible."

"Here, here," Travis said enthusiastically.

"That being said," Jon continued uncomfortably. "Any relationship that interferes with staff duties or causes problems on board this vessel, will, unfortunately, have to deal with me and T'Pol. Tell your people to be discrete and act like adults. The last thing T'Pol or I want to do is be relationship counselors."

"Indeed," T'Pol muttered.

"That everything?" Jon asked T'Pol.

"It is," T'Pol nodded.

"Dismissed," Jon said with a smile. "Enjoy the journey everyone."

As they walked from the conference room Trip caught up with T'Pol.

"You really serious about the badminton?" Trip asked her.

"Did I imply I was not?" T'Pol inquired.

"Have you played before?" Trip asked.

"I was the regional women's Poona champion in my final year of schooling before university," T'Pol said.

"Really?" Trip asked, surprised.

"Really," T'Pol said. "So, tell me why it is funny that Science has Friday evening courses?"

Trip started to snicker and had to control himself before he could answer.

"It's just really nerdy T'Pol," Trip said. "Only science geeks would have nothing better to do on a Friday night then work on a 'fun' genome project."

"It's interesting and scientifically sound," T'Pol said as she stopped and looked at him.

"And, pretty geeky," Trip added.

"Are you implying that all scientists are geeks?" T'Pol asked.

"No," Trip said as they started to walk again down the corridor. "Kerri seems kinda cool."

T'Pol looked at him affronted and felt his mirth across their bond.

Trip burst out into a fit of laughter and nudged her shoulder with his. "You're not so bad, but you are a little bit geeky too."

T'Pol's ears tinged a bright green and she nudged him back.

XXXX

"Nice work on the corners Hess," Trip said to his team-mate. "We'll get them next time."

"Trip, you have any plans for movie night tonight?" Kerri asked him as he gathered his bag and towel after the first badminton game. Almost all the observers had left after he and Hess were trounced by Phlox and T'Pol.

"I'm going," Trip said, oblivious. "Keep that smirk Phlox, because we're coming back with a vengeance next time!"

"In your dreams, Commander," Phlox replied before he left.

"You're going alone?" Kerri inquired hesitantly.

"Yeah, usually we all just meet up," Trip said confused as he noticed T'Pol's bag but she was nowhere to be seen. She didn't even stick around to rub the Science win in his face.

"Would you like to get dinner and then go to the movie together?" Kerri asked as she watched him shoulder a second bag and place a water bottle inside it.

"Huh?" Trip asked, confused.

"I'm asking you on a date," Kerri said clearly.

"Oh, um…a date?" Trip stammered.

"Yes, all the crazy kids are dating these days," Kerri joked.

Trip took a deep breath before he spoke. "I'm really flattered Kerri, honestly I am. But, I'm just not….uh, dating really isn't my thing, right now."

"Oh," Kerri said, disappointed.

"It's nothing to do with you, and everything to do with where I am in my head, and my heart right now," Trip tried to elaborate but felt he was being less clear. "I'm just not…"

"No, it's fine, it's just…"

"Just?"

Kerri closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Uh, Commander T'Pol said she thought we'd make a good match," Kerri said. "And with the two of you such good friends, I thought maybe you'd said something to her and…god, now I feel like a complete idiot."

"T'Pol told you this?" Trip asked confused.

"In a matter of speaking," Kerri sighed. "I'm sorry, please forget this ever happened."

"Don't worry, it's fine," Trip said as he touched her shoulder. "We're friends but we don't really talk about those things."

"Oh, okay," Kerri nodded. "My mistake. I better go."

"Kerri, I'm…"

"Please, let's just forget the last five minutes, okay?" She said before she turned and high-tailed it out of Cargo Bay 2.

Trip wiped a hand across his face and rubbed at his eyes.

"Fuck, T'Pol," he sighed. "I know exactly what you were doing."

Trip hefted the two bags over his shoulder and made a beeline for her quarters.

He buzzed her door and she called for him to come in. She was in her washroom and he heard the shower running.

"T'Pol!" Trip called to her.

"I know it's you," she called back. He could tell she wasn't in the shower but was just standing on the other side of the door. "Why are you here?"

"You left your bag and water bottle," Trip yelled through the door.

"Thank you for returning it," T'Pol said.

She heard nothing except a bag drop on the other side.

She waited another thirty seconds.

"Was there something else?" she asked, aware that Kerri was approaching Trip today about a date.

"We need to talk," Trip said as he leaned his head against the door to her washroom.

"Perhaps another time when I am less naked and more…"

"I'll wait," Trip said.

She then heard her chair creak and realized he had sat down and was actually, waiting for her to complete her shower. It was in that moment that T'Pol hissed two Vulcan expletives that she had been so remiss to leave her bag and water behind in her desire to leave the area as quickly as possible. Encouraging Kerri to become involved with him was one thing, but watching it occur was completely different.

T'Pol turned off the running water and donned her robe before she exited the washroom.

"Can we not meet later?" T'Pol asked as she walked from her washroom in her satin bathrobe. "This is hardly appropriate."

"You tried to set me up with Kerri," Trip said, accusingly.

"I merely stated that you and she had a great deal in common," T'Pol hedged. "You are both from the United States, both of your families have experienced loss…"

"What?" Trip asked, startled.

"Her brother served aboard the Bethune frigate that was…"

"I know what happened to the Bethune," Trip interrupted her as he stood and walked toward her. "Besides a few things in common, what made you think that I needed a girlfriend?"

T'Pol shifted uncomfortably in front of him. "Quantum dating."

"Huh?" Trip asked, confused.

"You should not go five years without a relationship or physical contact and…"

"Who says you get to decide this?" Trip asked, placing his hands on his hips.

She could feel his anger across their bond.

"It is unhealthy for a human male to be celibate for an inordinate amount of time," she explained. "You are in the prime of your life and should have a…girlfriend."

"Are you kidding me?!" Trip snapped.

"I assure you I am serious," T'Pol said. "You and Dr Russell would be well matched and…"

"I don't want someone who looks good on paper," Trip said, annoyed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Then I will pursue other options for you and…"

"What?!" Trip snapped again.

"Since you refused my offer nine months ago and we are still bound, it is logical that I aid in finding you a suitable replacement for…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Trip asked confused and angered.

"I offered a purely physical relationship and you rejected my…"

"You said you couldn't be involved with me emotionally," Trip interrupted. "That is was too…too much for your delicate Vulcan sensibilities and…"

"I do not have delicate sensibilities, I merely needed time and space to deal…"

"You needed time and space to get rid of me," Trip huffed. "I know what you were planning!"

"What was I planning?" T'Pol asked, her voice slightly raised.

"You'd slowly pull away, first it was the emotions, then it would be the physical, then…"

"I would have been perfectly happy continuing a physical relationship with you for…"

"You'd be okay just fucking? Just going at it like animals and then thinking nothing of me the rest of your day? Use each other with no invol…"

"We never mated like animals," T'Pol chastised him with slightly glazed eyes. He'd hurt her with that last remark.

Trip closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead. "I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"Is that how you saw me? Saw us?" T'Pol asked, her voice thick with emotion.

"No," he admitted. "We were so much more, T'Pol. That's why I couldn't compromise."

She looked at him confused.

"Maybe Vulcans can…can compartmentalize the act and the feeling," Trip sighed. "Hell, maybe some humans can too, I don't know…"

He watched her swallow hard and could feel a slight uneasiness through their bond.

"Look, I'm sorry, I have only fond and wonderful memories of us," Trip said. "Well, maybe not at the end, but, what I'm trying to say is, I would rather we ended as we did, then turned what we had into something else. Something…less. Does that make sense?"

"It does," T'Pol nodded. "Thank you for clarifying."

"I still…I still love you, T'Pol," Trip admitted. "I know I'll get over you someday, and being good friends is helping, but I don't need you or anyone else setting me up, okay?"

"Our bond is still present," T'Pol said softly.

"I know," Trip smiled at her. "I can sometimes feel you, not a lot, but sometimes."

"I feel you quite often," T'Pol admitted. "I am still quite attached."

"I know," he said softly. "If you ever…I mean, if you ever think you'd like to try again…"

"I'm not sure I can," she admitted.

"I know," Trip said softly. "I, of all people, know."

"But, if I ever do…" T'Pol said softly. "I'll inform you at once. But if you are with another…"

"Better not," Trip said softly.

"Agreed," T'Pol nodded.

"I'll see you at movie night?" Trip asked.

"I will be there," she nodded before she watched him leave her quarters.

A part of her wanted to run after him and throw caution to the wind, as the humans say. But a lager, more Vulcan part of her, knew it would never work between them. It was better as things were; he was her best friend.