I sat in the dark room, tears running down my cheeks. The one guy, the one and only guy I'd ever loved, the only one I'd wanted so badly I could sleep, was now the reason I couldn't stop crying. Just that day he'd broken my heart, and then he walked away as if it was nothing. But to me it had been everything.
I was excited for the school day to finally end. I'd decided to finally tell the man I loved that I was in love with him. I wanted to wait till the end of the day when no one was around so I couldn't lose my nerve and use the excuse of being late for class to get out of telling him. I jumped when the final tone sounded, signaling the end of the school day.
Here goes nothing, I thought as I walked over to him and tapping him on the shoulder. "Can I speak to you in private for a moment?" I asked.
"Sure, sure," he replied, following me as I lead him to an empty hallway. Once I was sure we were perfectly alone I turned to face him, gathering up all the courage I could muster. "I love you," I said, looking up at him, but when he was silent I repeated again, "I love you."
"I heard you."
"And?"
He looked straight at me and said, "Krista, why would I ever love a girl like you?"
I'd felt as if my heard had just been ripped out, stomped all over on the floor in front of me, burned, and then I'd been handed the ashes.
"But…Jacob," I started, tears filling my eyes as I stepped towards him.
"Just stop!" he shouted at me, pushing me away. "Don't even bother. You're small, plain as grass, and you are too emotional," he said, "it disgusts me to even look at you in class. Why would I ever love you?"
I fell to my knees, burring my face into my hands. And no one was around in the empty Fork High School hallways to hear as my heart shattered on the tile floor.
"Why?" I asked in a broken hallow voice.
"Why what?" he asked, his tone bored.
"Why do you do this to me?"
"Because, I find it funny to see you I pain," he replied coldly.
I then let out a tortured sob as I heard his footsteps as he walked down the empty hallway, leaving me behind on the floor in a broken heap. Alone to pick up the tiny pieces of my shattered heart.
The memory of that day was the last thing playing through my head as I fell asleep, my subconscious surrounding me and numbing the stinging pain in my heart that I still felt, hours after it had happened.
The next day I woke up in a ball on my bed. I was still in my school clothes and my mascara was all over my face. I got up and began to rifle through my closet until I pulled out a black gothic romance floor length skirt and a black lace top. I sat down at my vanity and brushed though my hair and then fixed my eye liner. When I was done I let my short brown bangs fall in front of my heavy black lined eyes.
I then slipped on black tights and a pair of black flats, then I walked out of my room and down the long stairway into the hallway on the main floor.
I didn't head for the kitchen in the empty house, since food was a waste of time now. All I cared about now was getting through my life, sleeping away the pain and trying not to fall in love. I really didn't feel like eating, since I didn't feel like living any longer then necessary.
I grabbed my messenger bag and then walked out the door, locking it behind me as I stepped out onto the small stoop. I looked and saw that it was raining once again, which was no big surprise. The sight of the rain actually brightened my mood slightly; rain was one of the few things I still loved. I felt like it was alright to cry in the rain since no one was able to tell the difference between the rain and your tears.
By the time I reached the school I was soaking wet, cold and still very sad.
"Krista, why are you so wet? What's wrong?" Alice Cullen asked, running over to me.
"I just…I walked to school, my car wouldn't start," I lied easily.
"Oh, you should've called, I could have picked you up," she said, holding a bag out to me. "I have some spare clothes; I went shopping yesterday and forgot to take them out of my car, so I was going to put them in my locker. But you can use them instead," she explained. I smiled, but shook my head. "I'll dry," I replied.
"Are you okay?" she asked, I nodded.
"I need to get to class," I said quickly after a moment. I then turned and started off for my advanced Chemistry class, it was the one class where I was surrounded by senior students.
When I walked into the class I saw a new seating chart blow up by the projector on the white board.
Great, I thought. I'd enjoyed sitting by myself, and now I sat next to none other than silent Jasper Hale, who was already seated at our lab table.
I sat down next to him, placing my bag on the table top. Hat it been yesterday that we got this new seating arrangement I would have been elated to sit next to Jasper, who's extremely attractive. But now I was too cold, my heart too broken to actually consider the possibility, I didn't want to be hurt again.
"What is wrong?" Jasper asked a slight worried tone in his voice.
I clenched my fist; I was getting annoyed with everyone asking what was wrong, even thought he was only the second person to ask, so I exploded. "Nothing! Don't you people get that?! Nothing is wrong!" I shouted. I knew that I was being rash, and the fact that I hadn't eaten anything might have contributed to my short temper. So I immediately started crying. "I'm sorry," I whispered thorough my tears. "So sorry."
"Ms. Smith, what is the problem?" Mr. Denis asked as he walked over to the table where Jasper and I were seated.
"Krista just has a really bad head ach," Jasper said, "It was probably from walking to school in the cold rain."
"Is this true?" Mr. Denis asked.
"Yes sir," I whispered.
"Can you walk?"
"No sir, it hurts to have my eyes open, so I can't see anything," I replied.
"Well, Mr. Hale, please escort Ms. Smith to the nurse's office," he said, Jasper nodded, taking my arm and helping me off the tall lab stool as I closed my eyes, letting Jasper lead me out of the class room and down the hall. But we soon stopped.
"Please Krista, tell me what is wrong," he pleaded.
"I can't," I replied shaking my head. "I can't afford to."
"Why?" he asked, a slight frustrated tone in his voice.
"It still hurt too much."
"Well…then I'll wait," he said, his tone now gentle, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Wait for what?" I asked, turning my head up to look at him.
"For it to not hurt so much," he replied gently, looking down at me with soft eyes.
I felt a strange feeling coming over me. It was like trust and love mixed, but soon I felt a knife being stabbed into my heart, and my face became expressionless once again.
"You'll be waiting a long time, maybe forever," I warned.
He smirked slightly and chuckled, as if I had said something funny. "I have all the time in the world to wait," he replied as he held his hand out to me. "Come on, let's get you to the nurse and have her look at you, you and I both know Mr. Denis will be asking later," he replied, smiling at mer.
I felt the ghost of a smile grace my lips for a moment before it left as I took his hand. "Let's."
