Author's Crap: This fic just had to be written… It's been on my mind since we saw the promo. Honestly, I think its how the whole conversation should've gone and what should've happened afterward. Maybe if the writers yanked their heads out of their asses, we would've gotten something a little similar if not less intense than this. You know, actual conflict resolution?
"You don't mean that." Tristan's voice was soft and quivering with hurt.
He knew that Miles hadn't meant what he was saying but, that didn't stop it from hurting any less. The words spat so cruelly yet, so brokenly… It made Tristan want to run away but stay all at the same time. This wasn't about him though. It was about Miles and getting him to talk about what was happening to him.
"Even after all I do to you, you continue to stay like some faithful puppy." Miles locked eyes directly with Tristan's own.
Tristan swallowed thickly and inhaled in an attempt to stele his nerves that were raw with emotion. Miles scoffed before turning his fangs on Frankie. Tristan barely heard him through the blood gushing through his ears. He doesn't mean it. He's just scared. He's just trying to push you away. These words were a mantra in his head and yet, that didn't make him feel any less on edge.
"You know what?" Miles' voice broke through Tristan's thoughts. "To hell with this."
"Where are you going?!" Frankie shouted pulling at her older brother's arm in an attempt to stop him.
"None of your goddamn business." Miles spat yanking his arm free and storming out of the room.
The force of his pull left Frankie slightly off balance and Winston quickly placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her. Winston gave him a disgusted glare as the brunet stomped to the door. Miles' eyes met Tristan's own one last time before he exited the room. The hurt, fear, and the sorrow that lie behind those green orbs told Tristan all he needed to know. Secrets, feelings, sadness untold.
A few moments later, Tristan gave chase to the brunet in hopes to square this all away with him. He felt the desire stirring in Miles to just give in and confess everything to him. He wanted to tell him everything but, couldn't fight the fear that gripped his heart in a vice-grip. Just what had happened to him? He rounded the corner outside to the parking lot where he saw his boyfriend starting up the engine to his black Mustang. Miles looked up and bit his lip before pulling the car into reverse.
"Miles!" Tristan's voice rang out through the parking lot as he ran closer to it.
Miles ignored the cries and felt the stinging in his eyes slowly turn into moisture as he sped out of the lot leaving Tristan behind. The blond's watery blue eyes were the last thing he could handle right now.
Tristan chased until the car was out of sight and collapsed to his knees worn out from everything that had transpired that day. He felt his own tears prickling at the corners of his eyes but, pounded the ground beneath him in defiance. He'd be damned if he broke down right now. He rose shakily to his feet and walked to the bus stop that would take him to Miles' house. This wasn't over.
After some time, he'd arrived at the Hollingsworth Estate and proceeded to scan the area for any sign of his boyfriend. The black Mustang was parked in the circular driveway signifying that Miles had indeed returned home. He walked with trepidation into the pool area to look for the brunet. He was scared of what Miles would say but, his desire to understand was greater than that fear.
A sudden crash rang through the silence of the pool followed by a pained bellow. Tristan swallowed and felt the blood rushing to his head in an almost dizzying manner. The noise came from what was probably the pool house so, Tristan walked slowly to the door. It was unlocked and Tristan pushed the door forward to reveal a broken chair and an emotionally distraught Miles. His deep blue eyes locked with Miles' own dour green iris' and he felt a sense of telepathy with the brunet. He could see all the pain, all the hurt, all the torment that lie within in him. It actually made him choke up a little seeing the brunet in such a state.
"Miles…" Tristan's voice was warbly with emotion as he spoke.
"Leave." Miles' worn-out reply came as he avoided Tristan's gaze.
"Miles!" Tristan started again with a little more insistence.
"I said leave!" Miles' voice raised in volume.
"No." Tristan said simply, stepping forward closer to the brunet.
Miles looked up and backed away from Tristan slightly. He couldn't face the blond right now. Not after having said all those things to him. Tristan didn't stop advancing towards him. Miles found himself backing up close to one of the pool house walls.
"Stay away from me." Miles spoke weakly. "All I can do is hurt you…"
Tristan didn't speak. He didn't trust his voice to not betray him. He instead kept on moving towards the other teen. Miles' back hit the pool house wall with a small, quiet thud and his heart thumped against his chest. Tristan took another look at his boyfriend. This wasn't the Miles that he was used to seeing. This Miles wasn't confident; he was terrified. He was broken; he was tired. Tristan didn't feel pity for him because he knew that wasn't what Miles needed right now.
He stopped only a few centimeters away from Miles and brought his arms forward to loop around his waist in a warm embrace. Miles went rigid and tried to push the blond away but Tristan just gripped his body tighter and pulled him closer into his chest. After a deep shuddering breath, Miles' arms slipped upwards to clutch around Tristan's back while he let more anguished tears fall into the fabric of the blond's shirt. Tristan's heart stopped in his chest momentarily before he released a watery sound and gripped his boyfriend's waist like he'd never let go.
Miles needed him more than anything. He could feel all the frustration seeping out from his very being. All the rage, disappointment, and grief was being projected onto Tristan and he felt himself struggling with his instinct to run away. He wouldn't give in though. Miles needed him to be here and here he would stay. Miles felt the hot tears falling in hot streaks down his cheeks and sobbed raking his blunt nails against the blond's shoulder blades.
They stayed holding each other like that for what felt like hours before Miles lifted his head from his boyfriend's shoulder and slowly raised his eyes to meet Tristan's. The tear streaked cheeks, the tears still clinging onto Miles' eyelashes, even the vulnerable look that he wore as he looked at Tristan made the blond's heart burn.
"Tristan… I…" Miles began but felt his throat close on the words. He tried to push the rest of the sentence out of his mouth but, alas, nothing was coming out.
"Miles… Help me understand." Tristan began while moving his arms up to grip at Miles' shoulders.
"You… You wouldn't understand…" Miles spoke through hiccups. "The truth will only make you hate me more…"
"Then, make me understand it." Tristan said firmly. "I… I don't hate you… You shouldn't have said what you did but, that's not what you were trying to say to me, was it?"
Miles let his eyes fall to the ground beneath them and contemplated his next words.
"…no…" Miles spoke barely above a whisper. "I said such horrible stuff to you, Tris… I just… I don't wanna lose you…"
Those words hit Tristan's heart especially hard. This was something he'd always been afraid of himself; losing Miles. It didn't matter to what. It only mattered that losing Miles was always something he feared so much that he found himself thinking about it constantly. However, Tristan knew that this wasn't the time for that discussion. Their relationship troubles could come later. He didn't need to know what was wrong with Miles as his boyfriend but, rather as a concerned friend.
"Truthfully, I'm scared too. I worry about it all the time but, that's not what I'm concerned about right now." Tristan took a deep breath before continuing. "I just want to know what's wrong. What's been going on, Miles?"
Miles looked up to the blond's face for any sign of judgment or scrutiny but found none. He hadn't known how much he'd grown to hang on Tristan's every word. Sure, he talked big about not caring what people thought about him but, that was true for everyone except Tristan.
When he was around Tristan, he found himself less confident and more observant of his own flaws. He felt so exposed. Almost as though, Tristan could see through him and pick out all the mistakes and problems that made up Miles Hollingsworth III. Even now, he felt pathetic. Letting Tristan see him like this. At his lowest and struggling to climb back up. He thought that if he'd just endured it and kept his problems to himself that he'd learn to cope with it. But, that wasn't the case… His life was spiraling lower and lower and it was starting to suffocate him slowly.
Miles inhaled before he spoke in a strained voice.
"Okay…" He began. "I'll tell you… about what's been happening…"
Author's Crap: I know a lot of you are going to hit me for ending it so abruptly but, I had to! I didn't want to get too much into Miles' issues because that's not what this was supposed to be. If I get hit with inspiration for it, I'll tack on a sequel to this about the conversation and the aftermath. However, that is unlikely as I have other fics coming for you guys!