Chapter 1:
Jacob. That was all I could see. He would get me though this. I took another shaky step forward in beat with the music. My father's arm supported me as I gazed forward. Jacob looked amazing, clean cut in his tux. If I could overcome my nerves, I could be with him for the rest of my life, not that there was any other option. Jacob had always been the only one for me. I didn't exactly like him in a the way my parents loved each other. That inseparable, longing, lustful kind of love.
I'd known Jake since I was born. He was my friend, my playmate. When he kissed me there was no spark, just awkwardness. My momma said that that special kind of love came with time, and I believed her. I loved Jacob dearly and this is what people did when they loved each other. So though these heels killed my feet and this dress was heavy and squeezed my waist so tight I could hardly breath, I knew I had to do this.
I sighed, now assured and looked up at the little white christmas lights hung over me. A grecian arch stood before my father and I, very close now. The arch was wooden with luminous white roses and vines growing up the sides. White rose petals peppered the ground and long silk carpet ran from the back of the seats to the base of the arch.
I stood now right in front of Jacob, lips partly opened, face blank. But when I looked into his deep browns eyes, I couldn't help but let my face light up in mirror of his. Dad let go of my arm to shake hands with Jake and then turned to me. I could see the emotion swell in him but he grabbed me and pulled me into a bear hug without shedding a tear. Before he pulled away he whispered in my ear so quietly only I could hear.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, remember that princess."
When he pulled away, I pressed my lips together and nodded. I was very aware of the many people staring at Jake and I. Their looks were well intended but made me uncomfortable. It didn't matter, I told myself and turned to face Jacob.
"Dear friends..."the priest began, but I didn't hear a word that he said. My thoughts raced, I was glad I wasn't touching Jake because he'd know exactly how terrified I was. I was only seven! How had I gotten into this? Jacob couldn't wait a few more years? I guess Momma really hurt him. No one even asked me if I was ready! They just assumed that I would be ecstatic. When Jacob proposed I was flattered, but did he honestly need a permanent agreement to guaranty I'd stay with him? I wasn't going anywhere, where was there to go any way? I loved Jacob, I'd never leave him, and I didn't need a ceremony to prove it.
"I do" Jacob said in his rough voice, sounding very pleased. He smiled down at me and I gave him a half-hearted smile, trying to cover the panic exploding inside me.
I don't want to have children with him! Oh god what if they turn out all disfigured or something? No, no, no! this can't be happening, it's too soon, it's all too fast!
"And do you, Renesmee Cullen, take Jacob Black to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
My eyes were wide frightened, the answer was no, I just couldn't get it out. I looked up at Jacob who was yearning me with his eyes to answer, to say yes. I looked over and caught my mother's eye.
Do what you want, she mouthed.
What did I want?
Well... I wanted to bolt, and so I did. Right into the the woods. The silk of my dress hugging my legs, snagging on branches. Wind whipping through my hair as locks fell out one by one, pins flying back as I flew forward. I ran to the one place that always made me feel safe. The meadow.