Fallen Heroes
AUTHOR: Spacemonkey766
RATING: PG13
CATEGORY: angst, hurt/comfort, missing scene
DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. I wrote this because I could. I'm not making money on this and I did this for people like me who cannot get enough SG-1 when the episodes are over.
CONTENT WARNINGS: language, not a lot, but the words are harsh
SPOILERS: Season 7 – Heroes pt.2, references to Gamekeeper, The Nox, Need, small reference to Serpents Lair
SUMMARY: Daniel's missing after Janet's memorial service and needs Jack help.
In memory of Janet Frasier
AUTHOR NOTE: Danny swears 'em big….I love angst and I needed to write this.
Jack was a man on a mission. He had searched all of Daniel's usual hiding places, yet the archeologist was nowhere to be found. After the memorial service for Major Doctor Janet Frasier, Daniel had left the gateroom wordlessly. Jack had seen him leave and decided to give him a few moments to himself. An hour later Jack, still in his dress blues sans the jacket, had searched the infirmary, Daniel's office and quarters, Jack's own office, Carter's lab, Teal'c's quarters, the gym, the commissary, and even the storage room Daniel escaped to during his sarcophagus addiction. His friend had disappeared.
A sudden thought came to his head. Deciding to go with it, Jack entered the nearest elevator and rode it up to the top of the mountain.
'Walking on mountain terrain is not suggested when wearing dress shoes,' Jack made a mental note as he walked topside. The small forest on top of Cheyenne Mountain was beautiful. It was a popular place for SGC members to come up to after being cooped up 20 something levels under ground with artificial light and recycled oxygen. It was amazing how much better one felt from just a lungful of fresh air and the warmth of the sun on the body. Even after being off world, it was always comforting to do after breathing alien air and soaking up rays from two suns rather than one.
About a quarter mile from the base exit, Jack found Daniel. The younger man was seated on a boulder, dress coat lying beside him, black shirt sleeves cuffed up to the elbows, top two buttons undone. His black tie lay untied around his neck and his glasses were set upon the jacket. He sat with his feet on the base of the large rock, arms hanging casually over his knees, a quality of sadness about him.
Jack came to a stop and stood about five feet away from his friend, watching Daniel watch the setting sun over the rooftops of the city of Colorado Springs, miles away from the isolated mountain base. Daniel never even acknowledged his presence, yet Jack sensed that Daniel knew he was there. Deciding to go a bit closer, Jack leaned against a nearby tree not two feet from his sad friend.
For a while they stayed there in silence. Their friendship lived on those comfortable silences. They never felt they had to say things to each other. Either they already knew or one just needed time to deal with something before telling the other. Finally though, Daniel broke the silence.
"Seven", he said, still staring at the horizon.
"What?" Jack stared.
"Seven." Daniel turned to Jack, eyes looking every which direction except Jack's eyes. "Seven people I cared for. Seven people I watched die."
Jack knew by now not to interrupt. It was a rare thing when Daniel openly shared his feelings. Usually Jack, Sam, and Teal'c had to push and pry. Even when it was obvious to everyone, Daniel insisted he was fine. When he gave out things freely, you had to let him roll with it, or he'd close up and you wouldn't get a damned thing out of him. But you did have to let him know you were listening. Leaving his position against the tree, Jack sat next to Daniel on the boulder, their shoulders just touching. A small sign of support to urge Daniel to go on.
"First my parents. God, Jack. I was eight. Eight fucking years old and I watched them get crushed." Daniel distorted his face in a heartbreaking anger. He had been bottling this up. Jack could tell. Daniel rarely said that word. The boy had a mouth, that was for sure, but the f-word was usually reserved for the Goa'uld and the like.
"I had over 20 years to deal with that. Then I came here, and you and Sam and Teal'c grew on me. I let you guys get closer than anyone in a long time. Then we went to the damned Nox planet and I watched you and Sam die before I did. Then two years later I watch Teal'c die on that Dark Ages planet. And not a month or two later Sha're dies. Like I didn't have enough shit to deal with before all this." Daniel chuckled sadly, turning back to look at the horizon. "And now," he choked a bit, "I come back after a year and I'm finally getting comfortable in my own skin again and Janet dies." Finally a single tear fell, followed by a small sob. Jack reached up and placed a supporting hand on Daniel's shoulder. "I watched it all and couldn't do a god-damned thing. Useless." That was Jack's cue.
"Daniel, listen to me. You had no control over those situations."
"I should have!" Daniel yelled, finally looking Jack in the eye, panting like he had just come up from underwater for air.
"No, Daniel!" Jack raised his voice to let Daniel know it was his turn to talk. Daniel's breathing slowed back to normal, so Jack lowered his voice. "Daniel, you couldn't have done anything…in any of those situations. No one could have. Aah Aah," Jack raised a finger as Daniel began to open his mouth. He shut his mouth again, so Jack continued.
"You are a resilient man. When you could do something, you would, even when a solution or something was obvious to no one else. Don't think about the life you've watched leave. Think about the life you helped give." Daniel looked slightly confused.
"When we went to Hanka and found Cassie, you were part of giving her a new life. You were there for her because you knew what it was like to be without parents. She could relate to you and was most comfortable talking about it with you. And now look at the strong young woman she is.
"That same year you delivered that couple's baby on Argos. And not a year later, despite the fact that it was Apophis' kid, you delivered Shifu. Even when you knew what would happen to Sha're, you put the kid in hiding and told him of his mother two years later.
"And what about Skarra? I sure as hell know that we probably wouldn't have won the case on Tollana if it was just me defending him on that trial thing. You gave him a second chance at life. Just like you did for Sara not two months ago. Hell, you even helped me out when I was ready to die back when all this shit started. And because of you and Janet, Airman Simon Wells is alive and that baby has a father." Daniel looked away but Jack would have none of it. He gently grabbed Daniel's chin and turned his head to face him. Then, in a paternal gesture, so similar to the way he had done on Klorel's ship six years ago; he rested his palm upon Daniel's cheek.
"Yea, you did watch Teal'c, Carter and I die, Daniel, but we're still here. And for as long as we are here we'll help you get through anything you need, whether you admit it or not."
Daniel looked at Jack, saying nothing, taking in all that Jack had said. Daniel nodded his head, silent tears falling from his eyes. Dropping his hand from Daniel's face, Jack wrapped his arm around Daniel's shoulders and pulled him into a half hug. Daniel's head came to rest on Jack's shoulder and he allowed himself to cry.
Feeling the small sobs from his friends, Jack felt his own tears escape. He cried for his best friend's pain and his own. The both of them sat as the sun disappeared behind the city, neither holding in their tears for loved ones lost and fallen heroes.