The Night After Forever
AUTHOR: Spacemonkey766
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: missing scene/epilogue, angst, hurt/comfort, song fik
SONG:"Night Life" by Starting Line off of "The Make Yourself at Home EP"
DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. I wrote this because I could. I'm not making money on this and I did this for people like me who cannot get enough SG-1 when the episodes are over.
CONTENT WARNINGS: angsty depressed Daniel (one of my favorite kinds), alcohol, gotta know the outcome of Forever in a Day otherwise you'll have no friggen clue what the hell is goin on
SPOILERS: Season 3 – Forever in a Day
SUMMARY: After Sha're's death, Daniel tries to forget
AUTOR NOTE: We definitely needed an ending to forever in a day and this song was just soooo perfect I thought….so I wrote it….we see Daniel differently in this one a bit….enjoy, hopefully!
"Last call everybody step up for another
They're ringing a bell, gives a yell to the crowd that's behind you
Did she sweep you off your feet?
And you deciding not to leave….without her
Without her tonight"
Daniel took another greedy swig of his fourth glass of Jack Daniel's that night. Not usually a familiar to the bar scene since college, Daniel had settled for the nearest bar to his apartment.
"What's her name?"
"Excuse me?" Daniel looked up from his glass and into the face of the old bartender.
"Don't play dumb with me, boy. I've been in this business over 30 years. I know when a guy has gal troubles," the bartender spoke kindly as he wiped the countertop with a white rag.
Daniel began to answer with the watered down version but was interrupted by a yell of the bar crowd as a klaxon sounded on the TV. Now he remembered why he avoided sports bars.
"Well? Don't be shy son. There's nothing you can't tell me that I haven't heard before." The bartender swung the rag over his shoulder and stared at the younger man in front of him.
'Oh yea,' Daniel thought. 'I'm pretty sure you haven't heard the one where the guy loses the girl to an alien parasite posing as an ancient god, have you now.' He considered answering the man, excluding the alien parasite part of course, but decided against it. He had come to forget, but Daniel decided to leave before he drank her away.
"Not tonight." The young man paid his tab and left the bar, hands in his pockets and a sad air about him.
"Break down all the chairs on the table and my minds on you
Give up and get into the van and go away again
Because the things you leave in the last town are getting out of hand
I'm sorry….I'm sorry about it"
Daniel sat at his dining room table, staring at the numerous artifacts in his apartment. Though all from various cultures, the only ones he saw now were those from Egypt.
His mind wandered to the beautiful city of Nagada on Abydos, his home away from Earth. He longed for the desert planet now. To feel the rays of the suns on his face, the feel of sand beneath his feet, the feel of Sha're in his arms.
Not wanting to dwell on those images, Daniel pushed himself away from the table and bolted from his chair abruptly, knocking it to the floor. Without even grabbing his jacket, Daniel fled from his apartment and into his SUV and drove, away from the memories. As he drove, unsure of where he was headed and not caring, Daniel sent up a silent apology to all the people he failed.
"At least you live to talk about it
At least you got your health
At least they made you feel alive, oh well
I wish you were right now"
His friends had tried to comfort him the few days he was in the infirmary after Sha're used the ribbon device on him. 'No,' he corrected himself, 'after Ammonet used the ribbon device.'
"She's not gone Daniel. As long as you're here, as long as you remember her and talk of her, she'll always be here." Sam's kind, yet clichéd words did nothing to comfort him.
"You're alive, Daniel," Jack had reassured. 'Great, so it's good to know I'm alive while she died for nothing.' Daniel would have given anything to have her here with him now. Ironic she wasn't here to comfort him as he mourned her.
"You must remember the time you had on Abydos, Daniel Jackson. You have expressed to me often how it was the most pleasant time in your life." Teal'c. He didn't blame him, but he still felt a little resentment towards the Jaffa. But Sha're had told him to forgive Teal'c. She was right, always was.
'Was' That one word did it for Daniel. He had referred to Sha're in the past tense. It had finally hit him. Sha're, the woman he loved, was gone forever.
"Jump out when the weight on your shoulders comes down on you
You're gasping for air and it's just not fair
He gets to be with her
There you sit trying hard
To forget something you're thinking awful
I'm sorry about it
Do you miss her so bad it hurts?"
He needed air. Pulling over to the curb, Daniel jumped out of the car. He could no longer stand the stuffiness. He couldn't breathe.
Taking voracious lung fills of the brisk evening air, Daniel walked slowly about the park. He loved the city park and had subconsciously driven here. He would come here often in his first months back on Earth three years ago. He came at night to gaze at the sky, trying to familiarize himself again with the stars he hadn't seen in a year.
Finding a park bench, Daniel sat down and took in his surroundings. The fountain in the center of the park glittered in the night. The park was near empty, except for a couple walking hand in hand.
'It's not fair' Daniel thought bitterly as the young adult leaned into the woman, stealing a loving, intimate kiss. 'Why does he get to be with her while I sit here, mourning my lover'. The sound of Sha're's sweet voice, distorted by the parasite inside her, resounded in Daniel's head. He hated how most of the things he now remembered were his run-ins with the demon.
Daniel shook his head in attempt to rid the depressing thoughts of Sha're and the horrible jealousy towards the young couple. 'Let someone be happy.' Daniel gave into his overwhelming grief and cried silently in the night.
"At least you live to talk about it
At least you got your health
At least they made you feel alive, oh well
I wish you were right now
Now you're all caught up
After sleeping for days
Makes up for the nights you spent away
It'll take awhile to see that smile
That's lay dormant since she's gone"
Daniel drove in silence. No music that usually blared from the speakers. No humming of ancient folksongs his parents use to serenade him with before bed. Just silence.
His mood had changed considerably since his solitary night at the park. He gave up on trying to forget and had spent the past three days in his apartment, thinking, remembering, sleeping, dreaming, crying. He had isolated himself from his team. As he pulled into the driveway, he knew that now was the time to face the world, and this was the place to start.
"Now you're all caught up
After sleeping for days
Makes up for the nights you spent away
It'll take awhile to see that smile
That's lay dormant since she's gone"
Jack opened his front door and was pleasantly surprised to see Daniel standing there.
"Am I late?" Daniel said timidly.
"Not at all. Come on in." Jack opened the door wider and moved to let Daniel in. Daniel walked over to the couch where Sam sat and plopped down next to her. Jack closed the door and sat down in his favorite armchair as Daniel talked with Sam and Teal'c.
Daniel had locked himself up in his apartment for days after Sha're's memorial service. But the archaeologist looked fine. Not good, but better. The red mark on his forehead left by the ribbon device had faded. The healthy color was back in his face and his whole aura seemed more positive. But when Daniel looked up and met Jack's eyes, he saw that his friend still had some healing left to do. His bright blues eyes were dulled some with grief and Jack knew it would be a while before they saw Daniel's brilliant smile. But by coming here, Daniel was letting SG1 back in. And SG1 would be by his side the rest of the way, all the way.
Daniel read the silent promise in Jack's eyes loud and clear. Nodding his head slightly in acknowledgement, Daniel turned to the movie Teal'c had just put in.
Before relaxing enough to enjoy the film, Daniel reassured himself that he would get through this with the help of his family. They'd take care of him and that gave Daniel comfort. He still and always would miss his beloved wife. A part of him died with Sha're. But now, he had friends that brought new life to him. He sent a heartfelt 'I love you' to Sha're and moved on with his life with a promise to remember the past forever.
'At least you live to talk about it
At least you got your health
At least they made you feel alive, oh well
I wish you were right now.'